Biggest fear i have

[Xhianil]

Money, plain and simple, it can keep me stuck forever and as long as it still exists theres that chance. That chance grows larger every second i spend in depression, living as male, a self fueled problem...

[Robin Mack]

*hug*  It is the ever-present bogeyman of the modern era.  Not having enough, anyway.  But then, I know at least one woman who has transitioned successfully with almost nothing in the way of money.  No HRT, occasional no-cost therapy, and no real prospect of SRS, but she has found love and acceptance (and even got married recently).

I hope you find a way to start living (even on the sly) prior to the time your counter runs to.

*hug*

[Xhianil]

Do you mean lives as a female with SRS or just accepted as female?

Till then I'm just a shell acting out the day, there's no hope of doing more then being on here.

*hugs back*

[Katie]

I don't know your situation but I do know that when I went through transition I got to know a LOT of trans people. Many claimed they were TS. A common thing I herd was lack of money. What confounded me was that the majority of these people that said they didn't have the money were driving nice cars, had a nice house, smoked, and 1000 other big money things...
So I came to realize that for a lot of people the money thing is nothing more than an excuse.

Why do I say that? Well because I also got to know some gals that did go through transition, they even got srs..... Of these women some didn't have much but dam it they did whatever it took to achieve a goal! Whatever it took!

Katie

[Robin Mack]

Do you mean lives as a female with SRS or just accepted as female?

Till then I'm just a shell acting out the day, there's no hope of doing more then being on here.

*hugs back*

Living as a human... maybe even just on your own, visiting a museum or garden or going to a movie and adding to the experiences that will make you a more fascinating woman.  I did an awful lot of living before I came out to myself, and not all of it was miserable.  I feel like, for the most part, my transition is on hold before I can start HRT, and sometimes it is very depressing.  Sometimes the dysphoria makes me want to hurt myself or give up... but I have found I can keep it at bay at least a little if I get out and do things, even the simplest of things.

Life is too short, and if you are at all like me, more time holed up and alone leads to greater depression, greater anxiety, and more hopelessness.  That's why I have to force myself to go to work, get out and experience sunlight on my face, sketch, clean house, any of a hundred things I do to fill the time.  They're helping make me a more rounded woman, even while I wait for HRT to help make my physically, well, rounder (at least in a few key areas).

You have a brilliant mind and you are very insightful.  I've seen your posts here, and I applaud them; you are doing good for the world by interacting on this site, helping people who you may never meet in real life.  I guarantee there are people out there in your corner of the world who will love and appreciate the real you, too.  And even if you aren't ready to seek them out, there is a real world out there to appreciate.  You have incredible potential... while you are not able to transition physically or socially right now, you can continue to transition spiritually and intellectually... and those two areas are the most enduring.

*hug*

[Xhianil]

Living as a human... maybe even just on your own, visiting a museum or garden or going to a movie and adding to the experiences that will make you a more fascinating woman.  I did an awful lot of living before I came out to myself, and not all of it was miserable.  I feel like, for the most part, my transition is on hold before I can start HRT, and sometimes it is very depressing.  Sometimes the dysphoria makes me want to hurt myself or give up... but I have found I can keep it at bay at least a little if I get out and do things, even the simplest of things.

I'm still very much under my mothers rule, i can barely leave the house and when i do i have no money to do anything nor a car.

You have a brilliant mind and you are very insightful.  I've seen your posts here, and I applaud them; you are doing good for the world by interacting on this site, helping people who you may never meet in real life.  I guarantee there are people out there in your corner of the world who will love and appreciate the real you, too.  And even if you aren't ready to seek them out, there is a real world out there to appreciate.  You have incredible potential... while you are not able to transition physically or socially right now, you can continue to transition spiritually and intellectually... and those two areas are the most enduring.

*hug*

Thank you for the kind words, i really hope i do help people.

*hugs back*

[Riley Skye]

Being denied srs from insurance and when I get off my parents health insurance would be getting my own