REJECTED!!!

[Andrea_LS]

Gina- I think what I was trying to get at is to show how the thing that's going to fade away is her now-outdated image of you rather than your how you are transgender and wish to live as yourself. I'm sorry I kind of mangle words a bit and have difficulty relating to your circumstance (I live apart from my mother, and she's supportive)... I read your post, though, and really wanted to say something to help. Another way of saying it perhaps is that you can show her (and others) that living out your gender identity is a strength and not a weakness for you, and that it's something that brings you peace, health, and meaningful connection to people (as you being you). Sorry again for the mangled words.  I do hope things work out for you well.

[Gina Taylor]

Gina- I think what I was trying to get at is to show how the thing that's going to fade away is her now-outdated image of you rather than your how you are transgender and wish to live as yourself. I'm sorry I kind of mangle words a bit and have difficulty relating to your circumstance (I live apart from my mother, and she's supportive)... I read your post, though, and really wanted to say something to help. Another way of saying it perhaps is that you can show her (and others) that living out your gender identity is a strength and not a weakness for you, and that it's something that brings you peace, health, and meaningful connection to people (as you being you). Sorry again for the mangled words.  I do hope things work out for you well.

Thank you Andrea for your strong and meaningful words. I agree with you that my mom has an outdated image of what a transsexual is, and at least she hasn't told me about 'parading' around in woman's clothing, which I've never done. I always try to fit in and be apart of the crowd. She always tends to think of me like Ru Paul.  But she'll never understand that transsexuals try to live like everybody else.

She actually told me that she won't let me continue to work for her, because she's never had a woman on payroll and she doesn't want to be embarrassed when my wig flies off (which has never happened)when I'm lifting things or a customer recognizes me (I'll explain what I am). She even went on about the fact that I'd be wearing makeup on the job as well. So again she was very blunt in telling me that there would be no work for me as a woman, and she's not even sure how her installer would feel about me working with him, and he knows, and doesn't really care either way. All these negatives . . . But y'know Andrae I am going to be living out as my proper gender, which will give me strength and it does bring me peace and connection with people. Thanks for understanding. Maybe you could talk with my mom and see if you could get her to understand things better . . .

[Andrea_LS]

Thank you Andrea for your strong and meaningful words. I agree with you that my mom has an outdated image of what a transsexual is, and at least she hasn't told me about 'parading' around in woman's clothing, which I've never done. I always try to fit in and be apart of the crowd. She always tends to think of me like Ru Paul.  But she'll never understand that transsexuals try to live like everybody else.

She actually told me that she won't let me continue to work for her, because she's never had a woman on payroll and she doesn't want to be embarrassed when my wig flies off (which has never happened)when I'm lifting things or a customer recognizes me (I'll explain what I am). She even went on about the fact that I'd be wearing makeup on the job as well. So again she was very blunt in telling me that there would be no work for me as a woman, and she's not even sure how her installer would feel about me working with him, and he knows, and doesn't really care either way. All these negatives . . . But y'know Andrae I am going to be living out as my proper gender, which will give me strength and it does bring me peace and connection with people. Thanks for understanding. Maybe you could talk with my mom and see if you could get her to understand things better . . .

I don't want to come off as understanding someone I don't know but... That said, I get a strong impression she thinks of you and her as a single unit: what you do means X or Y or Z to her feelings or her reputation. She seems seriously scared of what people think, and maybe she thinks she's "being fearful for you" - I'm not sure there, you would (of course) know best. But really, equating your impression on people (good or bad) and your reputation (good or bad) with hers sounds a boundary-crossing kind of relationship. I'm not sure how possible or probable it is, but to me it seems like getting some financial/housing independence could help the both of you and maybe give her the space to feel safe enough to maybe change her mind. It just really sounds like she's concerned your actions/convictions will harm her - fear, that is. And think this fear is too distracting for her to simply be proud or even accepting of you, perhaps. I could be wrong, though. (I'm not sure if I'd fair well speaking with her though!)

[Marieee]

Gina I'm sorry to hear it didn't go so well girl

You know, I remember bringing this up to my mother at an early age, I actually told her I felt I was a female at age 11 and she said something like "If god wanted you to be a girl he would have made you one." But what she didn't understand was I already was.

Sometimes people won't get it at first, and denial is just a reaction to it sadly. Just give them time. Love is a bond like no other, and since that conversation I had with my mother 11 years ago, I feel like she has accepted parts of who I'am. It just takes time hun, just do you and keep them in mind.

Hugs and best wishes!

[Gina Taylor]

I don't want to come off as understanding someone I don't know but... That said, I get a strong impression she thinks of you and her as a single unit: what you do means X or Y or Z to her feelings or her reputation. She seems seriously scared of what people think, and maybe she thinks she's "being fearful for you" - I'm not sure there, you would (of course) know best. But really, equating your impression on people (good or bad) and your reputation (good or bad) with hers sounds a boundary-crossing kind of relationship. I'm not sure how possible or probable it is, but to me it seems like getting some financial/housing independence could help the both of you and maybe give her the space to feel safe enough to maybe change her mind. It just really sounds like she's concerned your actions/convictions will harm her - fear, that is. And think this fear is too distracting for her to simply be proud or even accepting of you, perhaps. I could be wrong, though. (I'm not sure if I'd fair well speaking with her though!)

Sorry Andrea, but I was just thinking out loud when I wrote that about you speaking to my mom. She wouldn't listen to you anyway. No offense though.

But yes, I think you've hit the proverbial nail on the head with your thoughts. She does fear what others will think and will say about me out there if they recognize me. But I don't care either way, because I'm doing this for me not them. She's always been concerned with what they'll think if they see me.I might just bring this too her attention.  Thanks for bringing it to my attention Andrea. I'd like to send you a PM some time later.

[Gina Taylor]

Gina I'm sorry to hear it didn't go so well girl

You know, I remember bringing this up to my mother at an early age, I actually told her I felt I was a female at age 11 and she said something like "If god wanted you to be a girl he would have made you one." But what she didn't understand was I already was.

Sometimes people won't get it at first, and denial is just a reaction to it sadly. Just give them time. Love is a bond like no other, and since that conversation I had with my mother 11 years ago, I feel like she has accepted parts of who I am. It just takes time hun, just do you and keep them in mind.

Hugs and best wishes!

Thanks for your heartfelt and kind words Marieee. I will keep them with me as I make my way towards womanhood.

[Andrea_LS]

No worries, Gina. I'm really glad I can help. Please feel free to message me if you wish.

[Gina Taylor]

I've been working on a plan of action today and I've got it all figured out. By January 1st, 2014 I'll be on my way and I'll return home once a month to refill my medication and to go to any doctor's appointments . But other than that I'll be a woman on the road and giving my family that needed time away from me, while I'm living out my life as a woman!

[Constance]

I've been working on a plan of action today and I've got it all figured out. By January 1st, 2014 I'll be on my way and I'll return home once a month to refill my medication and to go to any doctor's appointments . But other than that I'll be a woman on the road and giving my family that needed time away from me, while I'm living out my life as a woman!

Sounds like a good plan.

By the way, I really like your new avatar.

[Gina Taylor]

Sounds like a good plan.

By the way, I really like your new avatar.

Thanks for your approval Constance! My pictures finally came in, and I couldn't wait to get one up into my avatar, and show my sisters what I really look like. 

[JordanBlue]

I've been working on a plan of action today and I've got it all figured out. By January 1st, 2014 I'll be on my way and I'll return home once a month to refill my medication and to go to any doctor's appointments . But other than that I'll be a woman on the road and giving my family that needed time away from me, while I'm living out my life as a woman!

So, you're ok with seeing your family just once a month?

[Gina Taylor]

So, you're ok with seeing your family just once a month?

If that what it takes. But I may not even see them. Like I said I'll just be stopping by to re-fill my monthly medication or coming back for a scheduled doctor's appointment.

My mom just told me that she'll be coming with me to my next appointment with my therapist and she'll be giving me my ultimatium. Hmm, do you think I should be shaking in my heels???

And I just recieved a call from my pastor about using the ladies room last Saturday. He asked me to use the washroom near his office if I need to go. Then he asked me what do I want out of this, and I told him to be treated as being normal. I don't expect to be treated any different because I'm a transsexual. And we left it at that.

[JordanBlue]

My mom just told me that she'll be coming with me to my next appointment with my therapist and she'll be giving me my ultimatum. Hmm, do you think I should be shaking in my heels???

I'm not familiar with what's going on in your life, so I really can't comment on that. Must be a lot of stress. But I'll just say - No, you have to do what makes you happy in your life. 

And I just received a call from my pastor about using the ladies room last Saturday. He asked me to use the washroom near his office if I need to go. Then he asked me what do I want out of this, and I told him to be treated as being normal. I don't expect to be treated any different because I'm a transsexual. And we left it at that.

Wow, what kind of pastor does that?  Would Jesus do that?

[Marieee]

That's good to hear about your plan, and hopefully your mother will take some piece of understanding away from that session. Hoping for the best!

BTW, loving your new avatar, looking good!

[Gina Taylor]

I'm not familiar with what's going on in your life, so I really can't comment on that. Must be a lot of stress. But I'll just say - No, you have to do what makes you happy in your life. 
Wow, what kind of pastor does that?  Would Jesus do that?

My mom was at my session with my therapist and me four weeks ago and spouted off about me and my  therapist had made some comments about my mom that she doesn't like, so she feels that she must go and defend herself now. It's a no win situation, but I don't let the stress affect me. But that is one of the reasons that I'm leaving to get away from all this bickering. 

As for my pastor, I'm sure that he's just getting things straight in his mind, because I'm probably the first transsexual that he's had to deal with. 

[Gina Taylor]

That's good to hear about your plan, and hopefully your mother will take some piece of understanding away from that session. Hoping for the best!

BTW, loving your new avatar, looking good!

Whenever I go out and think about things I usually come up with some good ideas.

I'm hoping that my mom will learn a little about herself as well, if she listens to what my therapist has to say about her.

Thanks for the compliment on my avatar. It was taken at the wig store where I bought my wig from. 

[LordKAT]

Love the curls. if your road ever leads in my direction, stop and we will get coffee with dinner.

[Gina Taylor]

Love the curls. if your road ever leads in my direction, stop and we will get coffee with dinner.

I was jsut thinking about roaming around my neck of the woods, but thanks for the offer LordKat. I've always been a little partial to curls. My next wig I'll be getting is a little longer and it's got ringlets. It's so cute. I'll have to get some head shots. 

[Gina Taylor]

Just had it out with my mom again. For some reason, she seems to be really set on this dressing as a woman thing. I mean if I didn't dress as a woman but acted feminine, then I would be thought of as being gay. So to stop the confusion, I go the whole nine yards and that's it. Maybe I'll have to explain that to her the next time she gets into it with me. But she thinks that the only reason I go to a Saturday night service is so that I can go as a woman, she doesn't seem to understand that by me dressing as a woman is the only way that I can be a woman.

Then she tells me that because she's involved with the choir, bible studies and a few other ministries, that that makes her more valuable than me. So basically what she's saying is that if I were to not go to church for a month people may ask about me, but I wouldn't be missed as much.

Then she tells me that she's been talking with my other sister and she told her about my coming out letter and there is no way she'd expose her two boys to me, and they all feel it's selfish of me to be doing this. Is it really that selfish because I need to correct something to make my life better?

[JordanBlue]

Then she tells me that because she's involved with the choir, bible studies and a few other ministries, that that makes her more valuable than me. So basically what she's saying is that if I were to not go to church for a month people may ask about me, but I wouldn't be missed as much.

Gina:
Obviously I don't know what type of church you're referring to here, and no offense intended, but it sounds like organized religion at it's worst.  Trust me, I spent 10 years working for a very well known TV evangelist, I know what I'm talking about.  I have zero problems with God or his Son, but have completely washed my hands of organized religion.  Do yourself a huge favor and cut the judgmental people out of your life.  I can tell you this with 100% conviction...GOD has NO PROBLEM with transgendered folks.  How do I know that?  HE told me.