I'm not a man, just a boy.

[Brandon]

Girls might mature faster than boys but legally speaking, both girls and boys are adults at 18 so I don't know where Brandon gets his ideas.

As to the original post...I still grapple with the terms boy and man but I do appreciate being called sir. I'll catch up with manly man later.

And no teen is really an adult at 18 either, And yes I still believe otherwise but that's just me, Its only because of the law but at 18 I'm still really not grown

[aleon515]

I find that really interesting that cis males in their 30's would struggle with the term 'man' too. Stereotypes of masculinity have really screwed with all of our heads, hasn't it? Who are we trying to live up to? Clint Eastwood or John Wayne versions of manhood? If only the super masculine have a prayer at manhood then probably 75% of men would be out of the loop.

I wonder if this is more of a male than female issue. For example, my wife isn't feminine. She falls somewhere between tomboy and butch. She has no problem seeing herself as and calling herself a woman though. I can't recall ever hearing adult age females questioning if they were girls or women. Why does manhood seem so much less obtainable to males than womanhood does to women?

Funny you should mention this. I think that there is a broader range of what is considered feminine and female than what is considered masculine and male. I believe this is result of the women's movement where women took on a broader range of what is acceptably female. Within the women's movement is an inherent message about males. Some men I know have taken on this broader range and even raise their boys differently, but others (perhaps most) have not. My feelings are a bit outside that. I just don't feel like a "man". But maybe it is that I am hanging on to these stereotypes, I don't know.



--Jay

[AdamMLP]

I find that really interesting that cis males in their 30's would struggle with the term 'man' too. Stereotypes of masculinity have really screwed with all of our heads, hasn't it? Who are we trying to live up to? Clint Eastwood or John Wayne versions of manhood? If only the super masculine have a prayer at manhood then probably 75% of men would be out of the loop.

I wonder if this is more of a male than female issue. For example, my wife isn't feminine. She falls somewhere between tomboy and butch. She has no problem seeing herself as and calling herself a woman though. I can't recall ever hearing adult age females questioning if they were girls or women. Why does manhood seem so much less obtainable to males than womanhood does to women?

I think the common perception of femininity is childbirth and even something as daft as menstruation.  Femininity seems to be rooted in physical things, whereas masculinity seems to be part of how someone acts.  For example, you can "lose" your masculinity as a man by acting feminine, but even if a woman has a mastectomy, or cannot give birth then people rally for her, and try to save her femininity.  Obviously we know different, but the majority of the population sees it this way.

[golgothasTerror]

Thanks for replying and giving me some things to think about. I didn't really connect my masculinity to society consciously until that was pointed out. But anyways, I'm glad this is an interesting enough topic and that others feel the same way I do 

[aleon515]

I didn't identify with the word "woman" either, but I think the idea that there are some physical events that tie one to the body.

--Jay

[assorted_human]

I don't like being called a boy due to age. I like the terms guy, dude and I always like it when a polite stranger calls me sir. A couple of select friends can call me a man without it sounding weird and a couple other friends call me bro.
For me though I will call myself a boy when people start talking about how young I like and say that I look like a little boy. This all hurt until I finally learned how to laugh at myself. Now if they say it I will too, but anyone only calls me a boy in the context of a joke.

[aleon515]

I don't like being called a boy due to age. I like the terms guy, dude and I always like it when a polite stranger calls me sir. A couple of select friends can call me a man without it sounding weird and a couple other friends call me bro.
For me though I will call myself a boy when people start talking about how young I like and say that I look like a little boy. This all hurt until I finally learned how to laugh at myself. Now if they say it I will too, but anyone only calls me a boy in the context of a joke.

No, I wouldn't call (be called) a boy either. It would be very disrespectful and I don't think it is age-appropriate to call myself that. I use those other words. One term I really like is "buddy", as in (some friendly stranger) "Let me help you with that buddy". My dentist was right on board after I told him and started calling me that, as in "Open your mouth buddy". LOL

--Jay

[Caleb18]

I didn't identify with the word "woman" either, but I think the idea that there are some physical events that tie one to the body.

--Jay

Exactly the same for me. I have never really liked the word man because I was raised to believe that a MAN was superior to a woman and somehow better than me solely because of a thing between his legs. I hated the word women because it felt like an insult to my manhood that I think I always knew I had but never understood. I like to be called guy or young man.

[aleon515]

Exactly the same for me. I have never really liked the word man because I was raised to believe that a MAN was superior to a woman and somehow better than me solely because of a thing between his legs. I hated the word women because it felt like an insult to my manhood that I think I always knew I had but never understood. I like to be called guy or young man.

Well, though I don't think of woman as an insult (I mean to *women*) might be to me as I am not one. But I actually think I think of women as a more positive thing than man, since I was involved in the women's movement back in the day (wasn't a separatist or anything-- I do know a couple of those who are transmen!). Actually might have struggled a bit with this one, because I am now a white male. But whether I like the whole of white male-hood or not, it doesn't much matter. 

--Jay

[Caleb18]

I think that honestly for me being transgender is so exciting because I can finally work towards being a man. I think that even as a little kid, I was a young man. I always felt like one. Especially when I was doing little stuff for my mom or little sister like climbing up to get a box of something in the grocery store or walking by them to protect them when we were out. I have always been protective and supportive. I know I am not a man, yet but I am so excited to be one. I am so excited to make a woman feel special and shower her in gifts and cut her grass. I feel like I have always NEEDED to experience my manhood. *glowing in excitement*

[teamsaxon]

I feel like this a lot.
I think much of it is due to me being pre t and pre op... I do feel great when people address me with "mate"  or "guy"  but I don't feel like a man yet, not in my eyes.. Because I have the appearance of a much younger person. I know that I look very young and no where near as old as a man looks i.e.  With a beard, more angular features etc.
So you're not alone in the aspect of it feeling weird. I think a lot of us who look like kids go through this. It doesn't feel right to be addressed as a man because we don't look it and are still without the attributes that a man normally has because of uncontrollable aspects like not having hormones etc.