Although, I detest most competitive sports, in favor of more communal and nurturing activities, I am going to use a sports idiom for the sake of expediency. The transgender community must reach a point in society that its individual members are able to demand total inclusion and acceptance on an equal playing field with all others. The transgender community must be welcomed at the table of equality to bargain for it fare share of power sharing and claims to societal resources. To achieve this takes monumental and deliberate effort. The most important aspect of this change is how people think about transgender individuals. Individual members of our community must be taken seriously and regarded with due and equal respect, like all should receive in a functional and balanced community that does not just tolerate, but truly values diversity for the contribution all are capable of making to society.
How are we to achieve this is the central question. I will start my remarks by quoting another contributor to this forum that has made, in my opinion, one of the most important contributions to this site I have read. Please, do not misinterpret my intentions regarding this quote. I am praising, not flaming this individual for her courage and insight. In fact, I have had to struggle with my own issues in regards to her point, but the issue is key to our progress to total societal acceptance.
Why Do I Feel Uncomfortable When I See a Very "Unpassable" Transwomen
« on: June 15, 2007, 09:17:49 AM »
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Seems like in the last week, every day I encounter a very poorly passing transwoman. When I do, I feel very uneasy and almost offended. Perhaps, it is a feeling that these persons diminishes me somehow because I am lumped in with them. I do feel some empathy, I guess I was there at one time too but never to that extreme. Kinda hard to talk about here as you guys can't see the women I speak of but the type of presentation I am talking about screams man in a dress and is so bad it doesn't appear these people will ever come close to passing.
As a recovering alcoholic/addict I am trying to become non-judgmental but in cases like this, I have a real hard time doing this.
My question for the group is that do you think my reaction is normal.
Most would expect to hear a response to the question of societal acceptance of transgender individuals; that it must start with self acceptance. I am not going to make this trite, shallow, and over used reply to this very serious question that can involve issues of life and death of members of our community. Equality must be extended to all by all, whom truly value and love humanity in all of its exquisite manifestations of beauty. If we as transgender people are having difficulty in acceptance of ourselves and other transgender individuals based on our appearance, it is a result of how the larger society makes transgender individual feel about ourselves and people like them.
There is no denying the fact, that since the beginning of time, beauty has not just been valued by society, but has also been very much a standard and indicator of social, cultural and financial success. Unfortunately, the opposite of beauty, particularly feminine beauty, has historically been socially shunned and harshly treated by society. To value physical beauty is an integral aspect of the human condition. The standards of beauty are as old as humanity itself, and how people respond to it, is as equally ancient. Can this be changed so to allow those that do not meet these strict social standards of beauty to be totally and equally enfranchised by society? I think so.... but not easily. There have been many, throughout history that were not beautiful, but found a way to be fully loved and embraced by society. This is not just an issue of passing or stealth as a transgender person, the issue of personal beauty goes well beyond this. But the issue of not passing as a transsexual makes you an open and conspicuous target for societal scrutiny.
Given, the present state of bigotry, hatred, prejudges that exists in society towards transsexual people, the issue of passing can very easily be a serious issue of life and death, and absolutely must be taken very seriously by all within the community and by those attempting to provide aid and comfort to members of the community. Nothing said or done, by anyone, within or outside the community should compromise this issue. This issue is, if one seeks to understand fully the transsexual community, the place one needs to begin there search for understanding about transsexualism. This is the starting place that, like no other issue, defines success.
What can be done beyond passing in seeking complete societal enfranchisement? First we must not be complacent! We must ask ourselves and others the hard questions. These questions must be addressed to all, especially those within our community and to those well intended individuals that have attempted to help the transgender community. These questions should be asked, not in the spirit of confrontation, but in the spirit cooperative enquiry into the inadequacies of past approaches to the problems we face as a community, and how to make them more affective in gaining equality within the larger society. Humility and shared effort are absolutely bedrock to achieving progress.
Godiva
