Personal image and the reality in the mirror

[LizMarie]

Let me add a word of warning here - you must begin to prepare to mentally deal with "beauty culture". Our entire culture places airbrushed and photoshopped images of women up as the "ideal" and consequently almost no cisgender females feel confident about their looks either.

Let it go. Just be you. Yes, if you want FFS or BA, do it, but do it for you, not because you are competing with a photoshopped image. So many of the ladies I see here look absolutely stunningly beautiful, if only you could see what the rest of us see in you.

As others have pointed out, this mental shift takes time. More importantly, this mental shift will never complete until you have already been full time for a while. I'm not fulltime yet but several other women I know have reiterated the same thing to me. Be patient with yourself and look at yourself more once you are fulltime and the mental image will shift.

*hugs* to you all.

[Riley Skye]

Let me add a word of warning here - you must begin to prepare to mentally deal with "beauty culture". Our entire culture places airbrushed and photoshopped images of women up as the "ideal" and consequently almost no cisgender females feel confident about their looks either.

Let it go. Just be you. Yes, if you want FFS or BA, do it, but do it for you, not because you are competing with a photoshopped image. So many of the ladies I see here look absolutely stunningly beautiful, if only you could see what the rest of us see in you.

As others have pointed out, this mental shift takes time. More importantly, this mental shift will never complete until you have already been full time for a while. I'm not fulltime yet but several other women I know have reiterated the same thing to me. Be patient with yourself and look at yourself more once you are fulltime and the mental image will shift.

*hugs* to you all.

Beauty culture is the worst, it give us girls especially completely unrealistic "ideals" of beauty. That you have to have this inhumanly "perfect" body, that you have to be very lean yet soft also, that you will only look good with makeup and sexy underwear and clothes, that really at the core of it we need to attract a man and that is all that matters. All in all it is a bunch of sexist garbage. True beauty lies within ourselves, our hearts. Plus I think all those models I see in the stores are horribly plastic and looks terrible. Personally I love my natural no makeup face, my short hair, my masculine clothes as well as the feminine ones, I love having an androgynous face and voice. Fortunately I know exactly what I want and need with my transition and my expections are that hormones and bottom surgery will bring my body and mind with my internal gender. we need to be confident in ourselves and not try to live up to societies sexist standards but our own beautiful standards and that where our own beauty comes from <3

[Joan]

Joan, yes the charcoal dye does work. However there are two ways of using it. One is more effective than the other: The first, like I've been doing is shaving the wretched (my name for facial hair) gray's as close as you can then spray them real well. While this techique works it does take longer. The other more effective way is to let the wretched things grow out enough to pluck. Then pluck them, then spray the charcoal dye right into the root. With either method you choose have paper towels handy cause it is messy -very messy. Let it dry (either method) after wiping off the excess before hitting it with your laser or flash pulse device. I've noticed as with my black hairs until they were gone, the grays have become thinner and thinner with each treatment. Just make sure you wait at least two weeks between treatments. You have to allow time for "fallout" to occurr. "Fallout " is my name for the body's expulsion of the dead root. It's very easy to become discouraged doing your own laser for the day after treatment you'll still feell what seems like hair growing back leading you to over treat. "Fallout" can feel like the hair is coming back, when in reality it is your body forcing out the dead portions of the root & remaining dead hair shaft. It's hard to be patient I know. I've been doing my own laser treatments for a little over a year now.

I started my hrt two days ago everyone!, yay!!! What a wonderful New Year's gift! Even in this short time I've noticed a boost in energy unlike any other. It's almost like my body has been starving for this for years!

Congratulations on starting HRT, Allyda! it's good to hear it's working out so well for you.

Thanks for the write up on the dye. I'm still fighting the black hairs but I will definitely be looking into the dye.

The beard is still the biggest barrier between me and a positive self image. I've been spending more time outside and with a surgical mask on (a normal anti-allergy thing where I live) I'm gaining more confidence in my female self. It feels pretty good

And I'll be starting HRT this coming Saturday. Yay!!

[Caitlyn]

There are times when I'm dressed en femme and I walk by a mirror and catch a glimpse of the girl inside, and it just makes my day But then there are also those times when I look in the mirror and think that I'll never be able to pass, but I think the important thing is to have hope and know that the real you is still there inside.

I haven't started HRT yet, so I'm really looking forward to it, but at the same time I'm trying not to get my hopes up to high, ya know? My case is a bit unique in that I have cystic fibrosis, a genetic disease that affects many things in the body, with one of the "minor" effects being delayed onset of puberty. This may have worked in my favor (as much as having a genetic disease can work in your favor) in so much that growing up I never really gained any overly-masculine features, but it might also affect how well HRT will work for me, so who knows really. In the meantime all I can really do is practice my make-up technique

[JoanneB]

Whenever the topic of beauty and unrealist images/ideals for women come up I have a little reality therapy lesson I discovered ages when I would fret about passing.

The next time you are que'd up on the checkout line in the supermarket look around you and what do you see? Real women. Real live women being real. All shapes, sizes, and looks

[stephaniec]

Whenever the topic of beauty and unrealist images/ideals for women come up I have a little reality therapy lesson I discovered ages when I would fret about passing.

The next time you are que'd up on the checkout line in the supermarket look around you and what do you see? Real women. Real live women being real. All shapes, sizes, and looks

this is so very true.

[MiaOhMya!]

Yeah thanks Joanne that is great advice! I really like that one.

[Joan]

Yes, Joanne, that is good advice. Thank you