What "hints" did you give your self or others about being transgender?

[Tessa James]

One of the best things for me about finally accepting myself as transgender is to now have so much more of my life make sense.  Looking back in the context of what i know now it seems I left myself lots of hints that escaped the muzzle of my once strict repression and denial.

Some recent threads here remind me of how often i allowed myself long feminine and polished fingernails and very long hair that I sometimes wore in pig tails. 

I did limited cross dressing too but that is so overt and was too easy for me to compartmentalize.

What sort of hints or clues did you give yourself along the way to self discovery?

[suzifrommd]

Fascination with women's books, movies, music. Finding female friendships more fulfilling.

And then there was that time when I was making out with my first girlfriend, and I realized I wanted to be the one with a vagina.

[amZo]

I always enjoyed the traditional female chores of women such as cooking and cleaning. I think I liked it to feel more connected to my female side, some transwomen cross dressed, I cooked and cleaned. I had a male roommate in college that use to joke telling me "You're going to make some guy a terrific wife one day"... 

[Sephirah]

I had a male roommate in college that use to joke telling me "You're going to make some guy a terrific wife one day"... 

I've had people say the exact same phrase to me, too, lol. Well that and "if you were a woman, you'd be a b*tch."

As for hints, I don't really know. I don't really think I had a female and male aspect to my life, as such. I was always just myself. If pushed, I would say perhaps my dreams.

Or maybe an urge to have long hair. While I'm not sure that's a hint, the reactions it got from people I know ("get your hair cut, you look like a girl", "excuse me, ma'am *sneer*", "...Because she's worth it! *chuckle*", etc), made me feel actually good about myself rather than having the effect which was probably intended.

[Ms Grace]

Some of my female university friends clearly saw it well before I did. Years ago, out of the blue, I was told I wasn't like other guys and declared to be an honorary woman. Made me feel great.

[Tessa James]

And then there was that time when I was making out with my first girlfriend, and I realized I wanted to be the one with a vagina.

Some hints are subtle and cryptic.  Suzi that one's like a 2x4

You're going to make some guy a terrific wife one day"... 

Is that "one day" feeling any closer?

I now find the term bitch to be a badge of honor and like Grace had more than enough hints from friends who "clearly saw it before I did."  Yes, I did remain clueless too long.  "Getting it" now.

[karahayes]

Looking back, i don't know if I had hints?  I've fought low self-esteem issues which may have masked my transgender feelings?  I'm a child of an alcoholic so while I'm contending with gender dysphoria, I'm also dealing with codependency.  The combination of the two 'flaws' has contributed to my downfall as a good son, husband, and father.  When I thought I found some happiness with the love of my life; a male to female tg, she broke-up with me telling me it wasn't my fault.  She fell for another male-to-female tg. 

I've crossdressed with no regularity over the years.  There were times when I felt more aligned with female counterparts especially during my adolescent years.  Currently, I'm on low-dose HRT which has brought me some calmness and has rid me of any urges of any kind. 

[LJP]

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I guess trying to understand where I'm at in my life. I did well at sports and other masculine things. Looking back I think it was more about acceptance than joy. I enjoyed things that were more feminine (helping my mom shop for clothing,interior design, ect). I got comments like "you will make someone a great wife someday". I feel dense for not picking up on these clues earlier.

[Jessica Merriman]

"You're going to make some guy a terrific wife one day"... 

OMG! Thinking back, the guys at the firehouse used to say it because I was the shift cook and did most of the cleaning. Now I know why I did not argue the point! Amazing what you do not pick up on until later. I feel like totally clueless as well! Still, I hate to think what would have happened if they ever found out for real back then. Not so tolerant in that generation.

[KabitTarah]

Nothing so covert, for me!
I had major transformation fetishes LOL

I don't really see cooking as a female activity. Suuure... traditionally. I also make beer -- traditionally that's a women's activity

I never liked sports (I tried, gave it my best)... again - I have male friends who hate sports.

I preferred solitary activities. (Yet again - plenty of friends like that).

I pretended I was the woman during sex. (Again ~ who doesn't?)

most of my interests and activities could either be considered girly or bookish.

[Edge]

Wanting a penis was a very big clue. I honestly don't know how it took me so long to figure out I'm trans.
Other than that, I relate to/like male fictional characters almost exclusively. Not because I feel attracted to them, but because I see myself and/or who I want to be in them.
I reacted to life events in a way that is way more common in males than in females. (I'm not one for gender roles, but this is something that is significantly more common in men.)

[MadeleineG]

I had major transformation fetishes LOL

We should compare notes. 

[Kaori.T.A.K.Diioia]

Some of the hints I had were subtle others not so, but I'm still dense and stupid enough to not realise even those till now.
1. Ive always had a pretty severe depression as a kid ( while I know this is not always a sign, I was just never truly happy with anything really) I cried for like 20min in middle school cuz I broke an egg for an experiment.
2.  I would always play as girl characters in video games or board games. ( even a year ago friends and I played DND and I was a female character with some uh exaggerated traits )
3. I always loved painting my nails and stuff like that. Dad made me stop when I was 12.
3 and the sign one would think would be pretty obvious is every time I would get a hair cut I would always think They made me look like a girl even when it was a short cut I never really realised why.

[ashrock]

Hated getting hair cuts to the point of throwing absolute tantrums over them.
painted my finger nails at a boy scout summer camp, (let a girl staff member do it for fun and just left them pink for a week)
Apparently I kiss like a girl, or so I'm told, not that I do that on purpose

[Antonia J]

I have as many, if not more, girlfriends as I do guy friends. They would always say things like"You're not like a guy, you listen and are sensitive." I think my ex naturally got jealous of some of the women, but really it was always just me connecting on a human level that I need for personal expression and understanding, and never anything more than platonic.

[Emo]

@kaori
#2. Animal crossing, my sims, soul calibur, tried dragon age but my friend wanted to stare at a guys ass all day. Lol
Littlebigplanet tho. I dont crossdress irl but that game i ALWAYS chose girl stuff.

OT
I aww at cute things when i forget to hold it in.
I have a "nice" voice like my mom that is higher than usual.
I like the girl rocker look better than boy rocker and wish to pull it off.
I want girl hair and to be able to style it.

Bonus: i went through a phase when i peed sitting down.
And proud of it! >__<

[Donna Elvira]

Using Tessa's expression, I think that more than subtle hints, they were 2x4's:

- always far more comfortable in female company than in the company of guys
- noticeably more sensitive than my brothers and other male peers
- from a very early age, an attraction for "typical" female activities such as cooking and housekeeping earning me a reputation for being excellent potential "wife" material (if certain details were overlooked.. ) 
- regular crossdressing from adolescence onwards
- quite severe anorexia as an adolescent
- a very late puberty  which may have been a result of the anorexia but, with hindsight, clearly some hormonal issues
- fantasizing about being the woman in sexual situations
- in spite of being very athletic, never wanting to put on muscle
- using skin care products at a time when it was a very, very unmanly thing to do (my ex-wife used to tease me a lot about that..)
- being told by everyone that "I throw like a girl". Still true to this day...

However, when I was young, the very notion of being TG was just not on the radar so even if I was asking myself some serious questions by the time I hit my early twenties, for a long time I found no answers. The fact that I was and still am mostly attracted to women no doubt created some confusion too.

[Natalia]

- Sometimes people tell me I am too sensible, emotional and too weak for a boy;
- My mother told me I need to train my upper muscles because I am getting too thin and that it is not a good thing for a boy. I told her I want to look thin!
- Sometimes my mother tells me I am overly concerned about my appearance;
- A few times my mother plays with me with things like "you should do your eyebrows" or "do you want to pass a lipstick?" and I am still on the closet!
- Until this day I have lots of stuffed animals on my room and on my bed;
- Sometimes I cuddle with my stuffed animals when I sleep;
- I don't cut my hair since January 2013, so it is getting too long for a boy...my grandfather said to me: "you should cut your hair or you'll start to look like a girl". I got very happy to hear that lol
- I am trying to give my voice a higher pitch, but in a way it keeps my voice almost the same. I don't know if this was noticed.

These are the most recents hints I am giving...perhaps thay can make things easier when I am feeling ready to come out to my family.

[big kim]

I hated boy hair cuts,since I was 13 it's never been shorter than a grown out DA
My sister swapped comics with me as a kid and gave me a toy mermaid
I threw balls like a girl and was allowed to bowl underarm at cricket in school
There's probably lot's more but that's all I can remember for now

[MelissaC]

Looking back many years, a couple of hints come to mind:

- Loving to accompany female friends clothes shopping
- having many more female friends than male
- always enjoying "chick flicks"

Melissa