What's "Non-Transitioning" To You?

[DriftingCrow]

From viewing this board since it's recent creation, it seems like there's a wide variety of people who consider themselves to be non-transitioning-- from people not on hormones/surgery to people on hormones and some who've had surgery; from people who are in the closet to people who are out & proud and/or living stealth in their preferred manner; from people with no intentions to medically and/or socially transition to those who plan on it in the future.

So, why do you consider yourself to be non-transitioning?

I'd say I am "non-transitioning" from a medical and social perspective. Medical: not on hormones, no surgeries, and I don't plan on it in the future. Social: I am not trying to have people use male pronouns/treat me "as a man", and I don't always present as male in public.

Now, just because I am sure someone out there will get angry with this post, I am just clarifying now: I am not saying "oh if you had surgery and are on hormones you shouldn't be posting here,  boo hoo", I am just curious as to what everyone's version of "non-transitioning" is. It can mean different things to different people, and I am aware that someone could be medically transitioning to one sex while still living as their birth sex in their daily lives, and vice versa. From viewing some posts, I am kind of not sure if there's a difference between "non-transitioning" and "non-op" for some people, while I do think there's a difference (I think "non-op" is those who've medically transitioned in other ways and just don't plan on having surgery). Altogether, labels don't really matter much.

[insideontheoutside]

Personally I see transition as you go through medical treatment so that you can socially transition to your actual gender. I'm not doing hrt, surgery, or socially transitioning so that's my definition of non-transitioning.

I still think we should have a "transforming" thread

[gennee]

I'm not taking hormones or going to have any kind of surgery.

[Tanya W]

I read at least three questions in this thread:

1. How do I understand 'non-transitioning' on a collective/shared level? - Put another way, this question reads as follows: What is my understanding of the conventionally accepted definition of 'transitioning' within the trans community? Quite simply, transitioning involves engaging medical intervention in order to physically, psychologically, and socially embody one's true gender. Given this,  I see 'non-transitioning' conventionally defined as not engaging medical intervention in order to embody one's true gender.   

2. How do I understand 'non-transitioning' personally? - In spite of the understanding expressed above, my personal sense of 'non-transitioning' does not seem to align with the conventional notion of this term. Personally, the term 'transitioning' umbrellas any action taken in order to bring my internal and external experience of gender closer together. In this light, my personal sense of 'non-transitioning' means more or less doing nothing to close the gap between internal and external gender experience.

3. Why do I consider myself to be 'non-transitioning'? - Given the above, I clearly do not consider myself to be 'non-transitioning'. There is definitely a process of internal and external shift going on here - it is sometimes more pronounced, sometimes less, but it is nonetheless there.

Now this raises a couple more questions for me:

1. If I don't consider myself 'non-transitioning', why hang out in this forum? - Quite simply, this forum - 'Transgender/Non-transitioning' - seems the best / most congruent fit with my own experience. I feel an affinity with many of the folks who post here, a sense of similarity that is sometimes not so pronounced elsewhere in Susan's.

2. If I feel an affinity with this forum and understand the conventional usage of 'non-transitioning', why don't I just shut up already and consider myself described by this term? - Well, this is a $64,000 question. Through much of my life, I have been seen and appreciated as one who does not need things to be a certain way. Historically, I have generally just shrugged when people describe me one way or the other. And yet here I find myself, once again standing up against widely accepted terminology (transitioning/non-transitioning) in order to say, 'This does not work for me.' What the heck?!?

For a very long time I have felt pretty helpless in life. Gender is a great example: I have one experience and the world seems to insist upon something else. Overwhelmed by this, I have kind of given up - on the outside this has manifested in the shrugging off described above.

In finally beginning to look at and address my gender experience, I seem to be unwinding this helpless giving up to some extent. I am standing up for myself here and there and, in doing this, I am - much to my surprise - feeling a bit of integrity rise up inside. This integrity will just not allow me to shrug off and accept a conventionally accepted notion of gender if it does not fit my experience. Which brings me back to this: I don't see myself as 'non-transitioning'. Curious.

Which raises another point I have been mulling over: From my perspective, we trans folk who in some way or another ally ourselves with the term 'non-transitioning' seem to lack a well developed vocabulary for articulating our experience. Familiar (i.e.: conventionally understood) terms such as 'male' or 'MtF', for instance, often don't work. Given this, does part of our challenge involve finding and developing such a vocabulary? Asking questions such as 'Why non-transitioning' and seeing what arises from within our lives?

I suspect so.
       

[Jenna Stannis]

Generally speaking, I guess transitioning is considered to be some level of SRS. Personally, I see transitioning as the intention to present as female in public.

[JoanneB]

I am philosophically with Tanya on "Transitioning" breaking down to if you are questioning, taking any sort of action you are changing states (unknowing to knowing at the very least) therefore  "transitioning"

I am also well aware of zealots who need a well defined world view for whatever reason. Non-Transitioning can go as far as anyone who has not had full medical intervention (the laundry list to suit their personal preferences) to perhaps even being stealth. After all, if you need to proclaim to the world that you are trans, then you really aren't what you appear to be.

Generally speaking, in very broad brush terms, I adhere to a definition of Non-Transitioning as essentially not full-time to perhaps part-time. Even by my own definition I can be called Non, or not, as my period of part time was about as RLE as one can get without working as a female. A good 3/4 of my time outside of work was presenting as Joanne. Though these days I cannot do part-time, yet in my heart I still feel I need to, if not more.

[Gina Taylor]

I can agree with a lot posted here to some extent. I've considered myself a non-op, because I am not going to be on any hormones, but I am considering taking some Spiro to help out with feminization. I am not considering SRS, but I am very much considering going full time and living the rest of my life as a woman, I guess the way that Genee has been living.

[Jenna Stannis]

It's definitely a grey area. I took HRT for quite a while, but I didn't consider myself to be in transition.

[bethany]

To me Non-Transitioning is someone not taking any steps toward permanently altering their body. No hormones, FFS, and SRS.

Non-Op is someone who is not going to have surgery. I'm in a gray area here as I am not going to have SRS but I am going to have an Orchiectomy. So I guess I'm Semi-Op.

[laurenb]

I am non-transitioning for the foreseeable future. To me transitioning is defined as living fully in your desired gender. And to do this I would have to modify my body extensively.

I consider myself a Male-Bodied Female (MBF?). Maybe that's my definition. My 53 year old body has served me pretty well but it's ability to produce abundant Testosterone is diminishing rapidly. This is the good news, I guess. Would I consider a low dose of HRT? Probably, but I'm not actively pursuing it. I'm sort of managing my dysphoria by working on the inside of my body. No question that I want to have a female body. Want's vs. need's I guess.

[King Malachite]

For me, I define non-transitioning is as a person (for whatever reason) who isn't taking any steps medically or socially (mentally, emotionally, and spiritually is fine) to  become the gender they feel like they are.  In other words, they are presenting as a cisgender or non-transgender person.  This is why I consider myself a non-transitioner.

[Bimmer Guy]

I regard myself as someone who is not transitioning because I am not on testosterone.  For me, the incredible power of that hormone is what defines "transitioning" (for myself).  Although I am read by others as male (and fully present in male garb, hair, etc), I do not live as male at work.  Some people at work know, but my "professional gender", so to speak, is female.  My closest friends/family in my personal life know that I define as transgender/as a transguy.

I have had top surgery.  I expected that more of the dysphoria would go away with this operation than it has.  It sucks.  Don't get me wrong, I am nothing less than thrilled with my surgery; I had just hoped it would "be enough", so to speak.  My goal is to remain without hormones which would force me to transition at work/everywhere.  My changing gender is a bit sticky in my field (the issue is less about my employer).

[Nero]

Good questions LH.

2. If I feel an affinity with this forum and understand the conventional usage of 'non-transitioning', why don't I just shut up already and consider myself described by this term? - Well, this is a $64,000 question. Through much of my life, I have been seen and appreciated as one who does not need things to be a certain way. Historically, I have generally just shrugged when people describe me one way or the other. And yet here I find myself, once again standing up against widely accepted terminology (transitioning/non-transitioning) in order to say, 'This does not work for me.' What the heck?!?

For a very long time I have felt pretty helpless in life. Gender is a great example: I have one experience and the world seems to insist upon something else. Overwhelmed by this, I have kind of given up - on the outside this has manifested in the shrugging off described above.

In finally beginning to look at and address my gender experience, I seem to be unwinding this helpless giving up to some extent. I am standing up for myself here and there and, in doing this, I am - much to my surprise - feeling a bit of integrity rise up inside. This integrity will just not allow me to shrug off and accept a conventionally accepted notion of gender if it does not fit my experience. Which brings me back to this: I don't see myself as 'non-transitioning'. Curious.

Which raises another point I have been mulling over: From my perspective, we trans folk who in some way or another ally ourselves with the term 'non-transitioning' seem to lack a well developed vocabulary for articulating our experience. Familiar (i.e.: conventionally understood) terms such as 'male' or 'MtF', for instance, often don't work. Given this, does part of our challenge involve finding and developing such a vocabulary? Asking questions such as 'Why non-transitioning' and seeing what arises from within our lives?

I suspect so.
       

Hi Tanya. Like most boards here, this Non-transitioning board was meant for everyone who can benefit from it. 

[Tanya W]

Hi Tanya. Like most boards here, this Non-transitioning board was meant for everyone who can benefit from it. 

Thanks for this, FA. I both understand and appreciate this intention, believe me.

The post above really was a case of me talking out loud to myself, sharing some of the questions and insights that arose from the interesting kick-off LearnedHand provided us. My relationship with a fair amount of 'trans terminology' - 'transitioning', 'non-transitioning', 'transgender', 'passing', 'stealth', etc... - is curious. My strong reactions to the usage of such words suggests there is something to be explored here. Unsurprisingly, I find I learn something each time I engage such an exploration.

Given this, I'm very happy to have both the provocation (LearnedHand's first post) and the opportunity (Susan's) to do this.       

[insideontheoutside]

For one thing, I don't want to start feeling like I have to take pills just to be myself. I also don't like the idea that I could have so much of my identity invested in something that could potentially get taken away, for some reason. Maybe it's just because I've always been so poor, but I really don't like the idea of having to add hormone pills to my list of life necessities, after 'food, water and shelter.' The more things I can't live without, the harder life becomes.

I feel this way. I feel that my identity is my identity and that a prescription can not help me become that identity more than I am. Regardless of my personal beliefs on trying to live life as naturally as possible, I am not defendant on a prescription to be me. I fully understand how it's not that was for many people but it's nice to hear someone else express it this way.

[amber1964]

I dont run across people who self-identify in this way very often. In the so called trans community, the police types dont like it.

To me, it means that you are not taking any steps towards living life as the opposite sex or gender, whichever makes you feel better. No hormones, no surgeries, not full time. Aware of yourself, but have not chosen or are in a place where you cannot do any of the above. You remain who you are inside, but its not at all obvious outside and you have at least, not yet, done anything about it.

Pills (hormomes) dont change who you are. That is a myth. They change your physical body, a little, sometimes a lot and they make it easier in social situations. But pills dont change who you are inside.

To the OP. If I understood correctly, you dont meet all of the above criteria. You ask to be referred to by pronouns that dont match your physical body, which to me is a part of transition.

But, I think this phrase has a deeper meaning here, as in all of the above but have consciously chosen not to transition. I have a friend like that, in person she is man but if you talk to her, especially on the internet where there are no phycial cues, she is 100% female. Sorry for the pronouns, its hard to express it. I worry over her.

[DriftingCrow]

To the OP. If I understood correctly, you dont meet all of the above criteria. You ask to be referred to by pronouns that dont match your physical body, which to me is a part of transition.

Amber, in my daily life, I don't ask people to use male pronouns. Maybe if I passed better I would. Sometimes I might go grocery shopping "as a guy" or similar place, but I mostly get read as a lesbian.

I don't consider asking people to use make pronouns on Susan's Place "socially transitioning".

[amber1964]

Understand.

[DriftingCrow]

Alabama, well said. I don't like the thought of being dependent on hormones either, or having to share intimate details to a stranger.

I could get on hormones of i really wanted to. I am still kind of considering it, but there's so much draw backs for me, that I am not too sure if I'd take the plunge.

[amber1964]

My personal position is that I always strive to be polite. To me, it is simple good manners to refer to someone as they wish. But say, in your case, your profile has a male picture so its the first thing I see. So right away, the mind thinks male. So no effort required. More difficult to remember, especially on the internet when things dont fall into line. Bearing in mind too, Im pushing 60, so I grew up in a different world. Its easy to mistake with no offense intended.