You can't be Female / Male if you don't get SRS - GRS Whatever

[Katherine]

I know I am female inside.  I've no doubts and my therapist believed it enough to recommend I begin RLE, the next step in my journey.  Long story short, I didn't, for a number of reasons valid or not.  Anyway, while I'd like to eventually undergo SRS, I don't need it to be who I truly am.  I'm already a woman, surgery will only help to give me the appearance of being a woman.  At my age (60) I may never undergo SRS, but I dearly hope that in the not too distant future I'll finally be able to openly live as a woman.  Surgery is just the icing on the cake.

[Agent_J]

It became an expectation for everyone which was really annoying and I for one am pleased that those draconian rules are now past history.

Unfortunately, some providers (mostly those in areas where there aren't many other choices) still prefer those older standards and use the fact that the new SoC is a guideline to be far more strict. My treatment was largely since the new SoC but it reflected the older. For example, there's nothing preventing them from holding the standard that one must have an HRT letter in addition to RLE to get HRT (and that happened to friends of mine) or deciding that months more of therapy are required before prescribing HRT even when the patient has an HRT letter.

[Shantel]

Unfortunately, some providers (mostly those in areas where there aren't many other choices) still prefer those older standards and use the fact that the new SoC is a guideline to be far more strict. My treatment was largely since the new SoC but it reflected the older. For example, there's nothing preventing them from holding the standard that one must have an HRT letter in addition to RLE to get HRT (and that happened to friends of mine) or deciding that months more of therapy are required before prescribing HRT even when the patient has an HRT letter.

That's pretty bogus huh? I sidestepped all that stuff almost 20 years ago now and did an end run around all the rules back then.

[Agent_J]

That's pretty bogus huh? I sidestepped all that stuff almost 20 years ago now and did an end run around all the rules back then.

It is. These ones work on the fact that there aren't other choices in the area and that the therapists require going to those doctors as a condition of getting surgery letters (I had to lie to my therapist about who I was seeing for HRT to get my surgery letter.)

[Shantel]

It is. These ones work on the fact that there aren't other choices in the area and that the therapists require going to those doctors as a condition of getting surgery letters (I had to lie to my therapist about who I was seeing for HRT to get my surgery letter.)

I think a lot of us have had to tell some whoppers down through the years in order to make any forward progress and not be stopped dead in our tracks. Let's face it, there are some unscrupulous professionals who view the TG community as a potential gold mine and regard some individuals as their personal ATM and work diligently at keeping them close at hand for their own purpose rather than see them transition at a normal pace and move on out of their reach.

[Agent_J]

You said it. I really think that explains a lot of what I endured - having rounds of labs and appointments to change my dose as frequently as monthly after years on HRT, etc. (The rest I think is some cissexism/transphobia - their issues with my manner of dress, etc.)

[sandra20]

Hmmm, I might have a very unpopular opinion, but for me, I don't think I'm capable of having SRS. I feel like I would be modifying my body too much from it's natural state. Also, I have this fear that I'll end up feeling "defect". The same goes for FFS. It would be like losing a part of myself (and opening a can worms, that I do not want to open lol!!).

For some reason, I'm fine with HRT though. It's just like, yea you're taking medication, but your body is doing it's natural thing. And very soon I want to get an Orchi, which I'm fine with also. I think I'm happy with somebody "taking" something from my body, but I don't feel right with things being added/changed - if that even makes sense??

Anyway, after saying all that, I have complete respect for anyone who decides to go with SRS, FFS etc... but for me it just doesn't feel right. I mean yes, I really, really do desire to have a more feminine face and the correct... genitals - I just don't know if surgery is right for me. At least not at the moment.

[sandra20]

For me, I am pretty much sure that I need some FFS (if can call rhinoplasty FFS), but I am currently having certain doubts about SRS too.

I do feel as if I *need* some FFS as well, at least from a practical standpoint, it's just mentally I'm not sure If I can handle it. Who knows, maybe my mind will change on this.

Current plan would be to take things slow, reaaaalllly sloooow and let it all sink down for a couple of years at least. And if someone says that I am not female because of this approach... well, maybe, I am not . But I am no male either .

I hear ya, I feel like this sometimes.

[Tristan]

I personally feel there's no need to have any surgeries you don't want to. Heck we are already outside of the norm. Minus well do what makes you happy

[Teela Renee]

I still got a johnny. But ill will get corrected someday.  But for now my drivers license, SSI, and birth certificate all say female.

[Shantel]

I still got a johnny. But ill will get corrected someday.  But for now my drivers license, SSI, and birth certificate all say female.

No-one will see johnny, but they do look at the other stuff so good going Teela, you're on a roll!

[Dahlia]

But yet the ones who got srs talk down to the ones who have no desire to get it done for whatever reason.

The funniest thing is...that they have a prostate and XY chromosomes themselves and are very often bio fathers of (several) children.

So, what's the big deal? They're cosmetic/man made women themselves.

[Tristan]

The funniest thing is...that they have a prostate and XY chromosomes themselves and are very often bio fathers of (several) children.

So, what's the big deal? They're cosmetic/man made women themselves.

These are a lot of the questions that are coming up. This is what we spent almost 10 Mounties debating this afternoon with some people from Fox News at the panel in Philly. To them them we are perverts and just mutilated men . Odd to see some people in the trans community feel the same way. I guess that's why it's good when the three of us left today we know who we are and have our self esteem. Funny though none the less that this topic is a major one

[Shantel]

Externally that is true about chromosomes and body modifications and if all that we are is just a shell it would be pathetic, but we are mind, soul and spirit as well which encompasses so much more of who and what we are than just the physical externalities. The body is simply the shell in which we reside, a cabinet full of complicated, intricate and unique contents.

[arbon]

My biggest reason for wanting srs was for legal reasons - having "f" on ID. That was resolved thanks to the aclu, so I was able to change my gender marker legally without surgery.

I did have a orcheictomy done, and think that is about as much as I want to do. I don't feel a great need for srs anymore - not enough need to go through such a major surgery.

[Tristan]

Externally that is true about chromosomes and body modifications and if all that we are is just a shell it would be pathetic, but we are mind, soul and spirit as well which encompasses so much more of who and what we are than just the physical externalities. The body is simply the shell in which we reside, a cabinet full of complicated, intricate and unique contents.

That's deep. And true.
People always will try to rain on your day.  But at the end of the day you realize your happy and no one else can take that away from you just because they want to spread hate or don't understand. And as Arbon said legal reasons I can understand that. If you ever go to jail in the south you want to make sure you can be Locked up on the proper side

[Androgynous_Machine]

My response to this is the same response I have to most situations:

Only a fool allows others to tell them who and what they are.

-AM

[FlightyBrood]

Admittedly I looked down on people (never to their face) on FtMs that didnt want top surgery until like last week. Right before I was going in to get mine done!

I didn't get why someone would want to have boobs if they identified as male...but there's a certain comfort in the body you were born with. It's always been that way, you're used to the way things are. Weird how outlooks can change so quickly.

[Shantel]

Admittedly I looked down on people (never to their face) on FtMs that didnt want top surgery until like last week. Right before I was going in to get mine done!

I didn't get why someone would want to have boobs if they identified as male...but there's a certain comfort in the body you were born with. It's always been that way, you're used to the way things are. Weird how outlooks can change so quickly.

We do have these little mental epiphanies, I did as I considered SRS. Boobs between two friends are warm, squishy and comfy, me and my cis gal are happy with it.

[Tristan]

Admittedly I looked down on people (never to their face) on FtMs that didnt want top surgery until like last week. Right before I was going in to get mine done!

I didn't get why someone would want to have boobs if they identified as male...but there's a certain comfort in the body you were born with. It's always been that way, you're used to the way things are. Weird how outlooks can change so quickly.

Yeah we all have things we don't understand and that can make it hard to understand others