Wish to get rid of these desires, any advice would be appreciated

[kaine]

Hi,

I'm a 33 year old male, happily married with a wife and a kid. I've been battling these desires as far back as i can remember. As early as 3 years old.. now with age these desires seem to be growing worse and being from the culture when i belong, its really not advisable for me to surrender to these thoughts that i'm perhaps i'm the wrong body and it doesn't match who i am inside. I wish there was a way i could get rid of it all and just live my life as a normal person.

I just hope getting to know some of you may help me rationalize my situation if not much else..

Thanks

[Jill F]

Hi,

I'm a 33 year old male, happily married with a wife and a kid. I've been battling these desires as far back as i can remember. As early as 3 years old.. now with age these desires seem to be growing worse and being from the culture when i belong, its really not advisable for me to surrender to these thoughts that i'm perhaps i'm the wrong body and it doesn't match who i am inside. I wish there was a way i could get rid of it all and just live my life as a normal person.
I just hope getting to know some of you may help me rationalize my situation if not much else..

Thanks

If there was such a thing, I don't think any of us would be here.  And you ARE normal, believe it or not.

[FalseHybridPrincess]

Jill said it...

I think most of us have at least once wished these thoughts would go away,,,well they dont,,,and if you ignore they ll only become more irritating for you...

[Emo]

Normal is overrated.
I enjoy being transgender. B)
Altho i havent told but a few ppl yet.

[Jamie D]

Hi,

I'm a 33 year old male, happily married with a wife and a kid. I've been battling these desires as far back as i can remember. As early as 3 years old.. now with age these desires seem to be growing worse and being from the culture when i belong, its really not advisable for me to surrender to these thoughts that i'm perhaps i'm the wrong body and it doesn't match who i am inside. I wish there was a way i could get rid of it all and just live my life as a normal person.

I just hope getting to know some of you may help me rationalize my situation if not much else..

Thanks

Hello Kaine.  Welcome from sunny southern California

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The "desires" you have recognized are quite likely a manifestation of gender dysphoria.  In my experience, these sort of thoughts of wanting to be, or sometimes imagining oneself as the gender opposite of your body are not persistent in people who are not transgendered.

If they are causing you enough distress, then seek out a professional counselor or therapist.  Keep an open line of communication with your spouse.

For what it is worth, I have four kids and have been married to the same person for 30 years.  There are ways to cope, but they sometimes require a sacrifice.

[MadeleineG]

"my kingdom for a horse"

Greetings from the frozen north.

[Sarah Rose]

Agreed, not to put a damper on anything but....
I think you're best best is to come out and face your fears.

I stayed quiet for at least 7 years, trying to repress it and lie to myself about how I felt....
I had a massive break down a few days ago because I just couldn't stand it anymore, the feelings don't go away.
Planning to start HRT this year... I wish I had come out sooner, with HRT... the sooner the better.

EDIT

I would just be open with you wife.... cross dress a bit... Try to let the feelings out when you can.

[JLT1]

I made them go a way for a while.  Years in fact.  As Jamie said, it is possible but there are sacrafices to be made.

I wish I had not made them though. 

I welcome you and hope you find not only what you are looking for but what you need.  I wish I could help more.

Hugs of sorrow..

Jen

[Paige]

Hi Kaine,

Oh I wish there was an easy fix.  I hope this forum helps you.  There are so many amazing supportive people here.  It certainly has helped me.

Good luck and welcome to Susan's,
Paige

[Eva Marie]

Kaine-

I was able to get rid of my feelings..... for awhile. If you drink yourself to oblivion every night you'll dang sure forget....but every morning there it is yet again. I wouldn't suggest that approach though. I was lucky enough to survive doing that.

The feelings don't go away; there is no way to be "rid" of them short of dealing with the underlying issue. I wish that I had better news for you but sadly I don't.

Have you considered talking to a gender therapist about the way you are feeling?

Oh, and welcome to the family 

[Kyra553]

Be who you feel you are to be and enjoy life. It might be time to make that change before it gets even worse later in life. Just like the others have said the feeling doesn't go away and nothing will change that. The question I ask is. Would it be better to change now in your thirties with young children or in your fifties when they move out and your a old man?    (no offense meant to anyone transitioning later in year btw)

Either way, it wont be easy 


But none the less, Welcome to the forum. Its a very good one 

[Claire (formerly Magdalena)]

Hi Kaine,

Welcome to the family. I tried to ignore it, tried very hard. For me it got worse as time rolled on. I understand that's pretty normal. If I hadn't come to terms with it, it was going to kill me. I do recommend you see a therapist and try to work your way through it. Maybe you can find the peace you're looking for, but I don't think you'll get there if you don't face it.

Jill's right, there is no magical fix, no easy way to make things right.

Whatever you decide to do we're hear to listen and support. You've found a safe place to explore who you are and what you really want out of life.

love,
-Maggie