Where'd everyone go?

[Ltl89]

Joanna is my friend and I don't think it's cool for anyone to judge her when she did nothing to ask for it.  No one is judging you or your life, so can't you do the same?  Is it really hard for everyone to get along?  Whatever, I'm really not interested in fighting, so say what you will.  I'm out. 

[helen2010]

I think the current members are just fine. Especially me. 

As one of those members who come and go, post sporadically and move back and forward between binaries I could be seen to be sitting on the fence.   Perhaps I do sit on the fence from time to time but it isn't always easy to move forward (even if you do sense where forward is).  For me this forum is a godsend.  Knowing that we are all dealing with our lives in different ways but can come here to learn, share, respect and be supported is a beautiful thing.   Seeing familiar names leave (many who unknowingly  have made such a positive difference to my life), while a little sad, is also something to celebrate and to thank this forum and all it's members past and present for.

[amZo]

As one of those members who come and go, post sporadically and move back and forward between binaries I could be seen to be sitting on the fence.   Perhaps I do sit on the fence from time to time but it isn't always easy to move forward (even if you do sense where forward is).  For me this forum is a godsend.  Knowing that we are all dealing with our lives in different ways but can come here to learn, share, respect and be supported is a beautiful thing.   Seeing familiar names leave (many who unknowingly  have made such a positive difference to my life), while a little sad, is also something to celebrate and to thank this forum and all it's members past and present for.

THAT is such a great point! The goal is to move on and be happy. I hope everyone does eventually. Except for a few, they have to stay forever. 

[stephaniec]

As one of those members who come and go, post sporadically and move back and forward between binaries I could be seen to be sitting on the fence.   Perhaps I do sit on the fence from time to time but it isn't always easy to move forward (even if you do sense where forward is).  For me this forum is a godsend.  Knowing that we are all dealing with our lives in different ways but can come here to learn, share, respect and be supported is a beautiful thing.   Seeing familiar names leave (many who unknowingly  have made such a positive difference to my life), while a little sad, is also something to celebrate and to thank this forum and all it's members past and present for.

it's made a big difference for me.  It completely changed my perspective of the people that make up the trans community

[Jayne]

I've been on this forum for almost 3 yrs (I think??), I find that I tend to go through periods where I feel burnt out from giving the same answers many times over. I don't post anywhere near as much as I used to because I often think that people must be getting bored of hearing me spout the same sob story over & over.

Even though I do not comment as often as I used to I do visit this site at least once a day to see what & who is new, I very frequently start to post a reply & realise that i've said the same thing many times over so I then decide to not post & allow others to offer a fresh perspective.

There have been times when this site has been a lifeline for me such as when I was in a hostel for the homeless, during that time I was constantly in the hostels computer room on this site looking for support & giving myself a break from the constant hostility in the hostel by trying to help others.
It seems that I post the most when i'm down as helping others makes me feel like i'm contributing something worthwhile to society.

I come & go but will always be a member here even if I seem to dissapear for long stretches of time.

[Ltl89]

One thing I'll say is that there are no special members and new members are just as valuable.  It's just as an older member it's weird to see everyone you knew leave the site which can make you feel like an outsider.  Sometimes it really is harder to relate with one person compared to another for whatever reason.  Some people vibe or connect more with others.  It's not the fault of others if someone doesn't relate with them; it just happens.  For example, whenever I go to support groups, there are usually transwomen of a different generation and their circumstances/lifestyle differ from mine.  I can find things in common and find a support structure from it, but often I do feel a bit like an outsider.  That's no one's fault.  And it's the same thing here.  It's especially difficult when people you come to know disappear so frequently.  Missing old friends that you relate with isn't the same as hating on those who are here (at least it isn't in my case).  I like everyone here that is part of the site (and I mean that) and have learned something for everyone, but it's weird to see those who inspired me or started with me move on.  Whether it should be or not, I find it jarring to be a senior member but that's not to say that I find any flaw with the site or it's members.  It's just different.  One day the new posters will likely feel the same and the circle will complete.  What's ironic is that I would bet that in 3 months or so most of the posters that are in this very topic will likely disappear. 

[EmmaD]

Gonna repeat what has been said - in communities, people come and go.  This place is a bit different since it is a support site and I spose once you don't need that support any more, you move on.  This is perhaps impacted more in that it is a personal support place and the issue raised over and over again are those closest to members and visitors.

I do not come from a background of seeking therapy (see a Psychologist and don't enjoy it much!!) and often wonder about the level of navel-gazing that goes on - it just doesn't seem to be of value (to me but hopefully it is to the poster). But that is just me. Post away and I'll continue to skim over those bits as I do when a ->-bleeped-<--fight starts. 

I don't post much either as I really don't believe I have much to say - this post proves this!!!  However, over the years, Susan's has become an immensely rich store of advice and information collected from a huge variety of experiences.  This I do value even if those members are no longer here.  I have a personal relationship with one MTF but not with regards to trans stuff.  So actually, I have no real world trans contacts.  Where the hell else would I learn about this stuff? Yep - archives!

Another thought - I was thinking about what my focus will be in a year or so and think I will have turned to more local issues such as marriage equality which is big in Australia at the moment but also marriage issues for trans couples.  These are examples of where your focus might shift and why a place like this starts to offer less for those with a more local focus.  That said, I do sorta miss some old "faces" but I really never knew them.  I do wish everyone who moves on the very best and it saddens me to think that wish is not always granted.

Now...first coffee for the day ... and magic blue pills!