So, the situation is, I came out to my dad as transgendered in November and at first he seemed slightly receptive to it. But I've been getting mixed to negative feelings from him lately, and earlier this month he basically shunned the idea and told me that he won't give me consent to obtain HRT from an endocrinologist, so I have to wait until I'm older.
Thing is, I don't technically need consent under certain conditions where I live, but it would be damn near impossible for me to get a therapist, get diagnosed with gender dysphoria, get a referral to an endocrinologist, and then get HRT. Puberty blockers are currently inaccessible to me because I don't have any means of transportation that isn't overseen by my dad.
He's basically forcing me to wait to start HRT. He said that when I'm older, I can make any decision I want, but he doesn't want me to be seen with him in public, at all, because that would draw attention to him. Which I understand completely.
But he also told me that he wants me to go to the therapist because he wants them to condition me to be comfortable in the skin I'm in. First of all, that is NOT happening. Secondly, that's completely outrageous. I've wanted to transition since I was 11 years old, and nothing is going to stop me now.
My dad is non-negotiable. I've shown him before and after pictures, I've told him prices, he doesn't believe a word I say. He says that only one or two people in the world look convincing as a female if they already looked feminine in the first place and cake makeup on. He also says I'll look like an ugly drag queen and get influenced by older men and then thrown out on the street. He says I look nothing like a woman (completely disregarding the effects of HRT that I told him) and that I'm a man and always will be a man. Nothing I say to him about HRT or transitioning works, as he is completely uneducated about the subject (my uncle is the same way, and what's worse is that my dad listens to him, and they both agree that this is not a plausible option).
I'm lucky enough to have an insurance plan that covers HRT, but God forbid I ever mention it in front of my dad, because he'll say it's untrue and tell me there's no adequate proof and that I'm lying and have no basis for my argument. He says that HRT is unaffordable, but if indeed my insurance plan does cover HRT, I will literally only have to pay co-payments of $5-$20 a month. My dad does not understand this concept.
He also believes that the surgeries cost a lot, which in actuality, they do, but at the same time, my insurance plan apparently does cover these surgeries (SRS, FFS) because it does not consider them an elective for some reason. The price I pay could be significantly reduced by this. Thing is, I don't think I really need that much FFS because my face is naturally more feminine than a lot of other guys that I know, and SRS is something that I want but am not entirely interested in until a bit later because I do see it as something that isn't immediately necessary. I want to pass on the outside first and foremost.
Like I said, my father is non-negotiable. I'm afraid of waiting because I don't want to become any more masculine, and as I said, neither HRT nor puberty blockers are accessible to me at this time, nor is therapy or an endocrinologist. I live in New York State, in the capital region, by the way.
What do you suppose I do?
