Last week I was walking to the local gas station to get me a soda and a snack when I felt genuine felt truly threatened for the first time. All throughout my life I had always had size on my side when it came to people who wanted to fight or hurt me physically. I'm pretty big which intimidated people even though I'm like a giant teddy bear who actually in my 22 years of life has only got into one physical altercation. This night was different though. Kids from the next building had been giving me a hard time lately for being trans and had actually threatened me (not to my face but through my roommates sister) so I was a bit scared. He's about twice my size, young, and extremely arrogant which for me spells danger. I didn't really give much thought to walking given that the gas station is ten mins away by foot, but it is through an empty field that can't be seen from the nearby road or apartments. it was dark and I was only halfway there when I heard footsteps behind me. I usually do get really paranoid when I'm by myself so I didn't think much of it at first I glanced behind me and that's when I really got worried. I could see someone coming up with just a flashlight from what I could see. What alarmed me was the fact that the guy was at a full sprint and coming RIGHT AT ME!!! First thought was that I should prepare for a beating squared myself to meet him head on. When he got closer I was able to see that it wasn't that kid but another guy who looked at me confused at first then said "What's up" and continued running past me. I'm relieved everything ended without anything happening, but it did wake me up to the possibility of violence happening to me because of my choice to be myself. Now when I'm alone I find myself constantly looking over my shoulder and I hate that I have this anxiety about my personal safety. How are some ways that I can make this better??
P.S.
Sorry about the long post I just feel like maybe telling the whole story would help me deal with it.
