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anxiety

Started by maximusloverus, January 26, 2014, 07:27:38 AM

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maximusloverus

Last week I was walking to the local gas station to get me a soda and a snack when I felt genuine felt truly threatened for the first time. All throughout my life I had always had size on my side when it came to people who wanted to fight or hurt me physically. I'm pretty big which intimidated people even though I'm like a giant teddy bear who actually in my 22 years of life has only got into one physical altercation. This night was different though. Kids from the next building had been giving me a hard time lately for being trans and had actually threatened me (not to my face but through my roommates sister) so I was a bit scared. He's about twice my size, young, and extremely arrogant which for me spells danger. I didn't really give much thought to walking given that the gas station is ten mins away by foot, but it is through an empty field that can't be seen from the nearby road or apartments. it was dark and I was only halfway there when I heard footsteps behind me. I usually do get really paranoid when I'm by myself so I didn't think much of it at first I glanced behind me and that's when I really got worried. I could see someone coming up with just a flashlight from what I could see. What alarmed me was the fact that the guy was at a full sprint and coming RIGHT AT ME!!! First thought was that I should prepare for a beating squared myself to meet him head on. When he got closer I was able to see that it wasn't that kid but another guy who looked at me confused at first then said "What's up" and continued running past me. I'm relieved everything ended without anything happening, but it did wake me up to the possibility of violence happening to me because of my choice to be myself. Now when I'm alone I find myself constantly looking over my shoulder and I hate that I have this anxiety about my personal safety. How are some ways that I can make this better??

P.S.
Sorry about the long post I just feel like maybe telling the whole story would help me deal with it.
Oh how wrong we were to think that immortality meant never dying
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Jessica Merriman

Try Aikido! It is self defense that does not have size as an issue, but brains behind it. It is based on pain compliance and is very effective. The workouts give you pause from your problems as well as giving you a better body as far as endurance. Physical fitness and protection, what more could you ask for. It is great for multi attacker scenarios as well. Works for me! :)
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FalseHybridPrincess

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on January 26, 2014, 07:36:51 AM
Try Aikido! It is self defense that does not have size as an issue, but brains behind it. It is based on pain compliance and is very effective. The workouts give you pause from your problems as well as giving you a better body as far as endurance. Physical fitness and protection, what more could you ask for. It is great for multi attacker scenarios as well. Works for me! :)

How about Iaido ?
should be more effective  :P

Btw maximus its a shame that these guys giving you trouble, its something that has happened to me too...usually there are just empty threats, I doubt that they ll actually try to hurt you,,,
If something like that would happen to me and someone would try to hurt me I guess the only thing I could do is call the police or something,,,i dunno,,,stay strong.
http://falsehybridprincess.tumblr.com/
Follow me and I ll do your dishes.

Also lets be friends on fb :D
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Adam (birkin)

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on January 26, 2014, 07:36:51 AM
Try Aikido! It is self defense that does not have size as an issue, but brains behind it. It is based on pain compliance and is very effective. The workouts give you pause from your problems as well as giving you a better body as far as endurance. Physical fitness and protection, what more could you ask for. It is great for multi attacker scenarios as well. Works for me! :)

I am going to second this - it's something I want to do after I've had my top surgery (not really comfortable having anyone that close to my body while practicing, as long as I have these moobs). Keaira showed me a few moves when I was there and it got me interested,
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nether

False princess iaido would probably spell more trouble and be a lot bloodier. 1 cut 1 kill. I love Japanese culture. :)

But seriously, check out some defense classes as Jessica stated. You can always kick a male attacker in the groin. Even if they have some kind of cup on, it still hurts like hell. Lol
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