Is age 48 to old to do this?

[stephaniec]

I'd just like to say some thing from my perspective. this topic is probably the most difficult for me personally to understand. The situation of doing some thing about dysphoria and having a family. I've never been married ,never had children and don't have any family to speak of. Whenever this topic is discussed I have so much trouble  with understanding this situation.  I think my dysphoria prevented me from having a strong enough relationship that would start a marriage. In one sense I'm lucky not to have dealt with this problem  because what I do only affects me. I'm truly sorry people go through this situation because it seems so terrible for everyone concerned. It's just a very difficult topic to deal with. I try to understand but it is hard. I just thought I'd give another perspective, a point from an outside observer.

[Chic]

I started transitioning at 50. Weight can be lost with diet and exercise, and there are lots of very attractive tall women around these days. Hormones don't quite have the same effects on us mature transitioners that they do for the younger transitioners, but they still do a good enough job.

So come on in, the water is fine!

50? I've seen your posts a million times and in your avatar, I never assumed you were over 25. I seriously guessed you were 19 or 20.

[Eva Marie]

50? I've seen your posts a million times and in your avatar, I never assumed you were over 25. I seriously guessed you were 19 or 20.

Well this just made my day! Thanks!!

[Michelle69]

Oh my, some of you girls are going through so much pain! I haven't cried so much in my life as I have since discovering this site. Well... The Notebook got me. God, how I hated that movie, or any movie that made me cry. Would that be dysphoria?

Even though I was married for a long time we had no children. We are still best friends though. In fact she will be the first one I tell. I can shop with her now!

Paula, I can't even imagine the torment you must be going through. Or any of you girls that are married with children for that matter. It makes a difficult thing so much harder when it is hurting someone you love.

My ex is moving on and dating now, happy with her life. She said she knew it was only a matter of time before I called it quits. Someone as sexual as me still able to preform, but unable to finish. She thought I was cheating! She thought it was just her that was causing my problems. She knows better now that it has been so long and I am not with anyone or dating.

All of that is not even close to what you are going through. If you ever need someone to talk to though, vent here and I will be glad to listen and be a shoulder to cry on.

[Satinjoy]

I appreciate the comments on the Stage 4 thing.  It helps, and I think they just used it to help validate the hormone decision.

I'm chucking it.   The great thing about therapy for me is I am comfortable with myself, although still very insecure around other people, even in here.

Thanks so much for being here and supporting us.

[Satinjoy]

Never be frightened about where you fit. You are unique and beautiful.

Cindy

I needed to hear this. I fought this dsyphoria with everything I had and it broke my mind like a twig.  I resisted too long, and paid a price for that.  And even after a year of good therapy - and the therapist didn't say stage 4 : I did, because I wanted hormones desperately and didn't want to do real life experience, which I think when forced is terrible - even after  a year I can destabilize into a puddle of fear and uncertainty.  I just did after my last post here, worrying about being stupid in the forum.  I fear what progression could do to my marrage and I am still doing everything I can not to cross the threshhold that would push my wife to call it quits.  So far, I can do that.  I cherish every day knowing the shoe could drop and I could lose everything if I only screw up and cross the line.  I'm glad I even have a line, and rules for survival here that I can accept.

So I cling to the board, the shrink, my God, and my wife.  I am horrified about the stories I hear here.

I remember well breaking and having the talk.  It was the most terrible thing I ever had to face in life.  It also was the most freeing.  My wife told me she wouldn't leave me.  But she also said she can't see me transitioned and in my true self.  So I sometimes have to hide a little.  I'm just glad she can handle the legs, nails, lingerie, and boobs and butt, even though I don't flaunt that, but it is always there, under the surface or out in the open but played down to limit discomfort for her.  But if she sees me wigged and in a nice dress, I think I'm dead.  I'll take what I can get and give what I can give, and somehow right now its working.

My heart goes out to you.  I was willing to pay the price and sacrifice everything I ever cared about, I could no longer fight the dysphoria, I would have utterly lost my mind if I had continued to try.  And God knows that and my wife knows  that too.

[Allyda]

I needed to hear this. I fought this dsyphoria with everything I had and it broke my mind like a twig.  I resisted too long, and paid a price for that.  And even after a year of good therapy - and the therapist didn't say stage 4 : I did, because I wanted hormones desperately and didn't want to do real life experience, which I think when forced is terrible - even after  a year I can destabilize into a puddle of fear and uncertainty.  I just did after my last post here, worrying about being stupid in the forum.  I fear what progression could do to my marrage and I am still doing everything I can not to cross the threshhold that would push my wife to call it quits.  So far, I can do that.  I cherish every day knowing the shoe could drop and I could lose everything if I only screw up and cross the line.  I'm glad I even have a line, and rules for survival here that I can accept.

So I cling to the board, the shrink, my God, and my wife.  I am horrified about the stories I hear here.

I remember well breaking and having the talk.  It was the most terrible thing I ever had to face in life.  It also was the most freeing.  My wife told me she wouldn't leave me.  But she also said she can't see me transitioned and in my true self.  So I sometimes have to hide a little.  I'm just glad she can handle the legs, nails, lingerie, and boobs and butt, even though I don't flaunt that, but it is always there, under the surface or out in the open but played down to limit discomfort for her.  But if she sees me wigged and in a nice dress, I think I'm dead.  I'll take what I can get and give what I can give, and somehow right now its working.

My heart goes out to you.  I was willing to pay the price and sacrifice everything I ever cared about, I could no longer fight the dysphoria, I would have utterly lost my mind if I had continued to try.  And God knows that and my wife knows  that too.

SatinJoy you have all my prayers. You are a very strong woman to be able to handle things the way you have, and accept what you've accepted. You are very much stronger than I. Your post moved me a little, and let me see how lucky I am that I can go forward at my age. I wish you and your family the best.
Ally

[Satinjoy]

Many thanks.


I have to live in God's strength, I dont have it.  He sent the shrink, the wife, the endo, and His son.

My wife had a vision of Christ saying not to fear, and separately I had something similar of Him saying "trust me". 

So how can I say He can't carry it through?  But the fear remains from time to time, and eases other times.

Hang in there.

[Satinjoy]

"SatinJoy you have all my prayers. You are a very strong woman to be able to handle things the way you have, and accept what you've accepted. You are very much stronger than I. Your post moved me a little, and let me see how lucky I am that I can go forward at my age. I wish you and your family the best.
Ally"     What a beautiful post!!!!!!!!!!

Prayers answered, and the compliment is well appreciated.   A whole lot of good stuff unlocked in therapy yesterday, most if not all of the fear is gone, and I am resting now in being comfortable and happy and honest, and a little sad that others cannot accept.  Trans to me is something you can't really hide from yourself in outside garments, it is a state of body and mind.  Regardless of how I look, even stealth,  I am transwoman, I was born this way for a reason, and I want to and I do take joy in it.  It sorrows me that others cannot accept it and want to remove it.  But that is no longer so much of my immediate family, only one can't handle it, and she has a mental disorder that I can accomodate for her sake.  Not her fault, not rigid ideas, it is a security issue for her, she can't handle the change when I've been a rock getting her through the pain of an anxiety disorder, and a bad one at that.

I finally showed my true self to one of my other daughters today, one that accepts.  It was great.  Her first comment - wow you look so happy.  Her second - Hey you look just like the girl in the Mummy, the lead.  Now that my dear is one heck of a compliment, I think she is a beautiful woman, and that makes me a beautiful transwoman.

Thank you for your prayers.  I need them, fear destabilizes me, but there has been so much growth and acceptance and I get less and less fear and more and more peace and joy.

Thanks everyone for your support.  It gets hard sometimes.

My daughter thinks I'm beautiful.  OMG.  What a way to start a day out.

No its not too late.  But it takes a lot of help from very competent people to handle transitioning or even coping at all.

God Bless, hugs and encouragement to all as we try to meet both our needs and the needs of those who love us.

Satinjoy.   

[Allyda]

I'm happy to hear about your daughters acceptance and her compliments to you. My daughters just want me to be happy, and if that means fully transitioning (which it does) complete with SRS they are OK with it. They think I look like Penelopie Cruz. It's funny how my daughters accept my being trans and my adopted family had such a problem with it.

Good things happened for me at my new Family Doctors Monday Feb. 3rd, and it seems I'm finally on the correct road toward eventual SRS after the hormones have had the necessary time to do their thing. I finally have a trans friendly FP!

In any case I say to anyone your never too old to be happy. Since I've been on hrt I've been able to think more clearly and feel positive about my future.

[Satinjoy]

Great to hear, that med support is huge.  Cruz, huh.  Sounds like you will have fun indeed. 

Enjoy and thanks for the postings. 

[Allyda]

That's just what my daughters say. Me, I don't see it at all. Besides, I'm Native American. I do have small features but my nose is too big. I'm way too old. I just think they were trying to make me feel good, lol!