What if I want a small penis, but want to keep my girly stuff?

[newadventure]

Ok here goes! I am I fear a rare "female to male curious" girl. I am married and my husband has been wonderful in supporting me in my research. I want to have my clitoris released and lengthened as much as possible. I understand penetration is limited if at all possible (one can dream though!!!) My issue is I want to avoid or limit masculine effects on the rest of my body as I still enjoy being a "girl", at least at first glance lol

I know this is a forum for women who fully want to transition to the male gender, but I have done hundreds of hours of research and cannot find anyone like me. The absolute last thing I want to do is offend anyone, but I feel like here maybe I can be who I really am.

Anyone used any creams/gels/supplements that enlarged the clitoris without excess hair or deepened voice?

I'm not too concerned with muscle growth or redistribution of weight. I am a very petite girl which I hear is also good for  the metoidioplasty procedure. I have a doctor willing to do the "clitoral release" (I hesitate using metoidioplasty because I don't need urethral lengthening and wish to leave my girl parts where they are and usable)

Any reviews on Doctor Daniel Greenwald, Bayshore plastic surgery in Tampa, Florida?

Penetration is a relative word for me. Neither my husband or I need to achieve orgasm through this, its more of the closeness and personal feeling that I would get from being able to do this, even a little.

Has anyone achieved even partial penetration?

I have many more questions, but I guess I would like to see how my post is received on this forum. I hope you can help!!!

[newadventure]

I am also talking with Dr. Mendoza at the Bassin Center for plastic surgery if anyone has any reviews on him!!!

Any pumps that work well with or without testosterone cream?

Thanks again so much for reading and ANY INFO YOU COULD GIVE WOULD BE PRICELESS!!!  Even if I haven't mentioned it but it might pertain to what I am looking to achieve.

[Ruthven]

I know this is a forum for women who fully want to transition to the male gender, but I have done hundreds of hours of research and cannot find anyone like me. The absolute last thing I want to do is offend anyone, but I feel like here maybe I can be who I really am.

We're not women, always know that. Whether we take hormones or not, have or surgery or not, we're always guys.

[mrs izzy]

It is kinda a catch 22.

T hormones will make the clitoris grow but it will also effect other part of the body IE: facial hair, body hair, slow down or stop of menstrual cycle, voice gets deeper, sterilization etc.

To get a mediaplasty most doctors want you on Cross gender hormones (t) to make it grow so there is something there when they finish.

Ok seeing the catch 22 yet?

Now there is no way to just make the clitoris grow to what is needed and even if you did go through all of this with a mediaplasty you will still not be able to have penetration sex. Most will be oral.

Ok now see the catch 22?

Only option you might have is phalloplasty, They make a whole new phalo from a flap of skin and in time you can get some type of manual device to allow for penetration sex. That i think if you could get the required letters of recommendation have this done without cross hormone therapy. But that i feel will be a huge catch 22 of its own.

Lots of luck, Get a clitoris pump and enjoy what you can get natural. Not to say you have GID but maybe it might not be a bad idea to see a therapist to work out some iseeues?

Isabell

[newadventure]

First I apologize for using the term "women" I am still learning myself and hope that I did not offend anyone.

I do see the catch 22. I guess I am looking for which different types or brands of hormone therapy affect which aspects of transitioning better. I was hoping there was something that maybe didn't have the best results with growth, but still helped and had less of the other effects that I am not looking for.

Thank you for your posts but I feel like I may be on the wrong section. I seem to be offending when all I want to do is find a way to express my true sexual side(s) If anyone has any suggestions on where I can get answers without someone thinking I need therapy I would appreciate it. My life is actually pretty well together and I only seek to blossom to my full potential of happiness through this semi-transition.

Again I apologize if I have used any phrases or words incorrectly. I am expressing how I feel and trying to find a way to do that with certain terms is proving to be difficult.

[aleon515]

There is no "brand" of t which won't change the secondary sex characteristics. Doesn't work that way. You can go on a low dose of T, but there is no guarantee that you will have any growth of the clit at all, or exactly what will change. If the clit doesn't grow they would do a meta surgery. This surgery depends on this growth (as others mentioned).

Yes, people do have penetrative sex from T, but not from low dose. It is perhaps not quite the same as you might think. I think they use different techniques.

You don't sound, I don't mean to be judgmental here, ready to really think about this yet. Taking T is a big deal, not casual. Have you been in the therapy? You should find a gender therapist (not just a regular therapist), and hopefully one comfortable with non-binary clients. Have you experimented, such as with sex toys, packers, that sort of thing? Have you been to a support group?

There is a lot of great reading which will help you. I would also suggest this person's blog, as they are a non-binary person who has taken T and had top surgery (but not meta). http://neutrois.me/

--Jay

[Kreuzfidel]

If anyone has any suggestions on where I can get answers without someone thinking I need therapy I would appreciate it.

It's not a matter of us "thinking that you need therapy".  You pretty much have a ghost's chance in hell of getting a doctor to prescribe you Testosterone of any description without psychological clearance from a therapist first - especially seeing as you still consider yourself to be a woman. 

What you're talking about here is pretty much body modification vs. transgender issues. 

You will not be able to get surgery of any kind without psychological clearance unless you happen to be lucky enough to find a surgeon who doesn't require it. 

Trans* people have to jump through hoops to get these kinds of treatments - and even those of us who identify as binarily male still have to convince a number of medical professionals that we're not "crazy" before we're treated.  Non-binary individuals or individuals such as yourself can sometimes have an even more difficult time of it.

I would suggest speaking to your doctor about this kind of treatment.  There is no testosterone product that can just give you a huge clitoris without masculinising the rest of you to some degree.

[aleon515]

It's REALLY not that I think *you* need therapy. It is a typical transition step, not by 100% of the trans population but by a significant proportion. The other thing the odds of getting T without therapy are kind of low and the odds of getting bottom surgery without therapy are kind of nil. (There are surgeons who will do this for someone who has lived as male for years and years, which isn't you.) Therapy is also useful for someone who is considering something that amounts to a huge change like this. Since you want something so unusual you can expect to be questioned a lot more than any of the supportive people here will do. Bottom surgery is also very expensive and the odds of getting insurance, esp without strong dysphoria are also nil, even if the ACA required coverage. I agree with KR, that you are going to have more trouble than someone who is taking a more traditional route. Not saying what you ask is bad, just that's the case.

You actually might look in the androgyne section, it's a bit more non-binary area. I am personally not offended-- can't speak for others of course. But just don't think that what you want is actually doable. It isn't that you aren't understood, its that T doesn't do this kind of thing, doesn't matter what dosage.

--Jay

[newadventure]

I appreciate the replies very much. I looked into gender dysphoria last night and I don't seem to have the symptoms. I don't necessarily agree with the term GID. I actually find it sort of offensive. There is nothing "wrong" with me or anyone else that wishes to change the way they look. There is no difference between the desire for a breast augmentation and the desire for a mastectomy. I am not "disgusted" with my body. Actually if I thought there was a chance the doctor wouldn't shove me out the door and lock it, I would ask for a breast augmentation and to enlarge my clitoris!!

My main reason for this is my sexual preferences. (I hope I am not crossing any boundaries by explaining this but from the feedback I have gotten so far I am actually learning more about what to actually research.) I am bisexual to some degree. I am physically attracted to women, and physically and emotionally attracted to men. My husband again is very supportive of the "acts" I like to do during our intimate time. Without getting too graphic I enjoy assuming the role of the "male" from time to time. But I also very much enjoy, for lack of a better term, my "natural" role. (I personally think that anyone's "natural" role is whatever they are born enjoying and not what a textbook or society thinks is "normal")

As far as the surgery or outcome I am looking for, I do not want anything that needs to be attached. I am searching for a way to enhance what I already have. My anatomy is really no different than a male in that area. The procedure of metoidioplasty includes much more than a clitoral release, but this is the part I am interested in. I have found two doctors willing to perform this but without any form of therapy.

My new question is whether or not there is a difference between using testosterone before or after this procedure? Will it work just as effectively after?

Part of my medical history includes a hysterectomy last year (for completely unrelated reasons) I am in the position where my body actually needs some form of testosterone hormones because of this. The reason I am holding back is because I would love to find a doctor that can monitor my testosterone and actually be fully aware of my desire to "kill two birds with one stone" so to speak.

[LordKAT]

Other women have been able to get a clitoral release without therapy or half the hassles many of us go through. There isn't a way to use hormones and select what effects it has. Penetrative sex is unlikely either way.

[manbreast]

hello new adventure i think your request for a large clit is not any more unreasonable than my wanting to grow large breast while keeping my male functions ,it was something i felt i had to do ,a woman with a large clit is a blessing for her man ,i just wish i could find a woman who could love a man with large breast, have you looked on line at going to Thailand for the surgery,now as for the penetration aspect is it your husband you want to penetrate or another female to experience what he feels when he enters you either way ,good luck and god bless

[aleon515]

I appreciate the replies very much. I looked into gender dysphoria last night and I don't seem to have the symptoms. I don't necessarily agree with the term GID. I actually find it sort of offensive.

My main reason for this is my sexual preferences. (I hope I am not crossing any boundaries by explaining this but from the feedback I have gotten so far I am actually learning more about what to actually research.) I am bisexual to some degree. I am physically attracted to women, and physically and emotionally attracted to men. My husband again is very supportive of the "acts" I like to do during our intimate time.

As far as the surgery or outcome I am looking for, I do not want anything that needs to be attached. I am searching for a way to enhance what I already have. My anatomy is really no different than a male in that area. The procedure of metoidioplasty includes much more than a clitoral release, but this is the part I am interested in. I have found two doctors willing to perform this but without any form of therapy.

My new question is whether or not there is a difference between using testosterone before or after this procedure? Will it work just as effectively after?

Part of my medical history includes a hysterectomy last year (for completely unrelated reasons) I am in the position where my body actually needs some form of testosterone hormones because of this.

GID IS offensive that's why the term has been changed to gender dysphoria. But even then, I don't know that all trans people have this feeling either. At least it is a closer term. However, transgender does imply that in some way or other you feel that your gender and body assigned at birth do not match. There are people who are not either male or female. But it is in some places hard to get service. *Sexual orientation* has nothing whatsoever to do with being trans. Trans people can be attracted to men, women, both, individuals, or nobody. What you seem to be describing is some kind of sexual orientation difference. There isn't anything WRONG with it, but it doesn't seem exactly trans. It sounds like you want what would be a body modification. I believe you should be able to get this sort of thing without goign thru hoops, however, this is not necessarily how the world works.

Pumping might help, though the gains are temporary which might be a good thing. I don't think you are a candidate for DHT as it is very hard to gain access to it, and in any case can cause baldness. Some people on T do have penetrative sex on some level, it is NOT a huge amt of penetration, from what I have heard about this. It's more of a way to be close to the partner. Same goes for meta. (I don't know if you have actually looked at results. Look up micropenis and get an idea.) Any in case they do require you be on full dose T for 2 years in most cases. I'm not sure if I understand you, but T is required to get some amt of growth so that they can do the procedure. I have never heard of anyone doing it, or even being able to do it with T growth. You can't take the T afterwards, it doesn't work that way. Unless you had a large clit to begin with... I'm guessing what they agreed to do was a clitoral release, not a meta.

I don't know who would be doing this surgery without letters and so on, because I have never heard of any surgeons that anyone who has used on this page that would do it, except in cases where someone has IDed as male for decades.

Low dose T would help with hormone replacement after a hysto. Take a look at neutrois' page. But you still are subject, possibly to all the effects of T and can't pick and choose. I'm guessing this part of it is a LOT easier than surgery.

--Jay

[rexyrex]

I think it is possible to get some clitorl growth, but I only know what I seen on google and x rate videos. they use some sort of cream and or pumps. Without having to go on T and getting the the whole side effect from it.

[aleon515]

Yeah after posting, I read about this. Apparently some women do do some kind of surgery, it's not a meta or anything. I think you are actually posting in the wrong group. You need to do a proper google search, as it didn't take me too much to find it.

--Jay

[Kreuzfidel]

hello new adventure i think your request for a large clit is not any more unreasonable than my wanting to grow large breast while keeping my male functions ,it was something i felt i had to do ,a woman with a large clit is a blessing for her man ,i just wish i could find a woman who could love a man with large breast, have you looked on line at going to Thailand for the surgery,now as for the penetration aspect is it your husband you want to penetrate or another female to experience what he feels when he enters you either way ,good luck and god bless

I do quite agree with Jay - all of this is in the wrong board.