Having Trouble Working in my Office After Starting T

[Lexicon]

I can't say for sure that it's because I've started T (4.5 months), but if it's not it's a hell of a coincidence!

I work for a non-profit, omnifaith church.  The staff is ALL women.  The core volunteers, part time staff and board are 85% female.  Aside from the lack of diversity which has always bothered me, the permanent staff being 100% female never seemed to really bother me... until now.

Everything takes FOREVER.  I'm frustrated.  We process every damn decision.  We talk in circles.  People get there feelings hurt if someone makes a hard lined decision.  Every meeting takes 3 hours.  There are rarely deadlines.  No one wants to be in charge, everyone acts like they are. 

I know I sound like an ->-bleeped-<-.  Maybe I am.  Nagging, complaining, processing, talking about a decision rather than making one, is driving me crazy.  It makes my skin crawl.  I've always been irritated by it but now it feels so intense.  It feels insuffereable.  I just can't handle it any more. 

I want to quit.  I want to walk into my bosses office and quit even if I end up homeless I don't want to have to sit through another damn staff meeting.  I can't handle it. 

Am I being hyper sensitive?  Is it just psychosomatic?  Am I just imagining a sense of lowered capacity to deal with emotional processing or is this for real?

I spend staff meetings looking for new jobs.  I know some of it is a product of working for a non-profit, some of it is working for a "church" where everyone is undergoing some new age life altering transformation (which is also driving me crazy and pissing me off).  But some of it, just some of it, I really think has something to do with them ALL being women. 

What if there really is something chemical about men and women that provides a balance in the workforce and I'm just waking up to it in a way that is making me crazy... ?! 

Any ideas?

[Kreuzfidel]

Hmm, I would say it has more to do with you as an individual and with your personal circumstances than some kind of overall chemical thing or with men and women in general.

It certainly sounds frustrating - there's nothing wrong with changing jobs if you feel you have either outgrown the one you're in now or if you are miserable being there.  You may definitely be more sensitive this particular group of women in which there seems to be a great deal of repressed aggression and competing egos.  Definitely time to move on if it's affecting you this badly.

[Lexicon]

Hmm, I would say it has more to do with you as an individual and with your personal circumstances than some kind of overall chemical thing or with men and women in general.

It certainly sounds frustrating - there's nothing wrong with changing jobs if you feel you have either outgrown the one you're in now or if you are miserable being there.  You may definitely be more sensitive this particular group of women in which there seems to be a great deal of repressed aggression and competing egos.  Definitely time to move on if it's affecting you this badly.

I'm sure that's true.  Thanks for the response.  Guess I was just having a melt down moment and needed to be returned to my senses

[Adam (birkin)]

Hmm, I would say it has more to do with you as an individual and with your personal circumstances than some kind of overall chemical thing or with men and women in general.

It certainly sounds frustrating - there's nothing wrong with changing jobs if you feel you have either outgrown the one you're in now or if you are miserable being there.  You may definitely be more sensitive this particular group of women in which there seems to be a great deal of repressed aggression and competing egos.  Definitely time to move on if it's affecting you this badly.

This sounds about right to me. I also know that in my first little while on T, I had some emotional adjustments. I had a lower threshold for frustration in general because I was learning to adjust to the new ways that the feelings felt, physically. But once I adjusted, things went back to normal.

I also agree with Kreuzfidel that it could be time to move on. If you're not happy there, for whatever reason, it may be time. But I wouldn't recommend ending up homeless lol. I'd just pay more attention to these emotions you're having, find out what's going on in your head that's contributing to them (because that's always a factor - circumstances contribute but we have our own interpretations of things that make emotions worse), and deal with it until you find a new job. Like start applying ASAP and get somewhere that makes you less frustrated.

[Sebryn]

Well my dad says women are here to keep us on our toes.   

But in all seriousness I experienced the same thing early on in my "hormonal shift" shall we say. Once my hormones settled things calmed, especially after getting my reproductive organs removed. I noticed a huge change. My endo suggested that perhaps the highs and lows of the T injections were part of the cause behind the....irritation?...women would sometimes provoke. Tai chi helped me get a handle on that and a better handle on stress as well.

As the two post before me stated maybe moving on would be in your best interest since no one likes to deal with stress constantly. Whatever you choose to do I hope it gets better for you at work.

[Ayden]

It's pretty normal to have those frustrations with work, especially if you have been there for a while. I know with previous jobs once I got settled after the first year or so I would get frustrated when there was a lack of progress. I am just now getting to the point of having irritation with my current job due to lack of creativity and an inability to see any progress. Nevertheless I don't have the same feelings you have. I certainly have in the past though. If you are unhappy with your current work it may be time to switch gears as others have said.

On the hormonal side, I haven't noticed a change for me in my "dealing with BS" meter. I don't think that hormones are responsible for half of the things people say they are. I think it's a personal thing.

[overdrive]

Not an answer to your question but if thats you in the pic.. damn bro you looking great at less than 5 months on T!

[aleon515]

I got more irritated, esp right after starting T. You *can* work on this as I think this is an adjustment that you need to make. I think dealing with work BS is really a bit of anger management. I found that my therapist was helpful on this one.

--Jay

[Ms Grace]

Don't know if this helps much - I work at an NGO with about 85% women. Similar to you, endless unproductive meetings and a fair bit of procrastination around decisions, etc. Have to say it used to drive me nuts! Since going on E and anti androgens it doesn't bother me nearly as much and the meetings in fact seem much more important! lol

[amZo]

Well you don't sound like a jerk, you sound like someone who needs a job that suits them better. One that allows you to take some risk perhaps or doesn't come with all the wasteful talking things to death. I wouldn't be able to take it either from what you describe...

[LordKAT]

some of the differences of how men and women think. Men tend to try to solve and act, while women sort every possible action and its impact.

Note, only a tendency, not a rule.

[Lexicon]

Thanks for all of the great feedback.  I really appreciate it.

One of the most interesting things for me has been trying to discern what is real and what is not.  What I really feel, what I might feel anyway, and what I only think I am supposed to feel.  I'm usually pretty good at discerning the difference but every now and again, it's extremely confusing and frustrating. 

I absolutely agree, it's time for me to move on.  Hard for me to do, but past the time to do it.  Thank you all for taking the time to respond and yes, that's me in the picture

Lex