I guess the thing to try and remember is that lashing out at someone else is nothing more than an emotional reflex. A defense mechanism to give some people a sort of mental dumping valve in order to not become overwhelmed. A vain attempt to try and isolate the cause of the emotional stimulus and to undo it. Which usually involves an almost psychic knowledge of what someone can say to hurt you the most, to make you feel at your absolute lowest and to emotionally blackmail you into taking back everything which caused the situation in the first place. To return to the status quo.
To you, Natallie, and to everyone else going through this harrowing situation, I would say that as hard as it might be... remember that the way people behave in response to something they're told is 99% them, and 1% you. People have different coping mechanisms. Some lash out, some lash inwards, and blame themselves. But what both have in common is that what is said and done in the initial reactionary stages of something like coming out to them is, more often than not, based entirely how the other person deals with being put in a certain situation. And not to do with how they actually feel about you.
Our emotions are sort of hotwired to be a "shoot first, ask questions later" kind of deal. Probably stemming back to times spent living in caves, being faced with some big toothy, furry beasty and not having the time to sit down and ask it whether it preferred pork or beef, or how hungry it actually was. I think it's an evolutionary remnant of the fight or flight instinct when faced with overwhelming mental information. Some people try to run away, and deny everything... some people fight, and try to immediately remove the perceived threat.
It's good that you got the chance to talk with her again, sweetie. I hope that you two can move forward in this and build some sort of relationship that you can both feel happy in.
For those who are still facing the lashing out and the bitterness and anger - be strong, be patient, and have hope. People often have to deal with their own issues before they start to rationally deal with yours. That doesn't mean they never will.
*hugs*
