Ever had sessions where you just don't connect with your therapist?

[E-Brennan]

Therapy is going well so far, but once in a while I have a session where I just don't connect.  No progress seems to be made, I feel stupid, that this is all a waste of time or fake or petty, that I'm taking steps backwards rather than forwards.

Just me?  Anyone else experienced those frustrating sessions where you just think it was a waste of time even going to the therapist's office that day?

[kelly_aus]

For me, they've often turned out to be the most productive sessions..

As an example, for a while my therapist kept suggesting I was more genderqueer than MtF.. At the time, I thought he was nuts. But in the week or so after that session, I found myself giving the idea some thought.. I still didn't agree with him, but I could see where he'd been coming from.

[jebee]

i dont bother with therapy, living a full and worthwhile life is far more helpful.

[Arch]

i dont bother with therapy, living a full and worthwhile life is far more helpful.

I hope you don't think the two are mutually exclusive for other folks.

[jebee]

I hope you don't think the two are mutually exclusive for other folks.

no i think it seems to be an american thing.

[Arch]

no i think it seems to be an american thing.

Nah, I think it's more often a Catholic thing.

To the OP, I do have unproductive sessions but prefer to look at the aggregate of sessions and focus on long-term progress.

Sometimes, though, it would be nice to get a partial refund when a therapist is being particularly obtuse.

[kelly_aus]

Sometimes, though, it would be nice to get a partial refund when a therapist is being particularly obtuse.

I asked..


I'm neither American or catholic..

[Jessica Merriman]

I didn't like them at first, but now that we have gotten to know each other we do great and the communication is a lot better. They have helped me a lot.

[FalseHybridPrincess]

Whats important in therapy is to do things your way and not the therapist way...

My first therapist kept telling me how its to early for hormones etc etc and didnt even thought I was transgender , so yeah I totally didnt connect

but my second therapist understands me and supports me etc so no problems here

[Jean24]

Yes, it got so bad with the first therapist that I had to let her go. She would not stop trying to tell me how depressed I am about everything and how I need to get on anti depressants immediately. That started about a month into our sessions. The worst part was when she kept at it after charging me $100 every session in full knowing that I didn't have the kind of money to see her ever 2 weeks but she insisted on it anyway and milked it for all that it was worth. In other words she was adding to the problems. In the end she told me that there was no way she would get me on hormones given how hopelessly depressed that I was in her view. My life honestly does suck almost as much as she made it out to, but that doesn't mean that I'm depressed, need medication, have given up hope, or have stopped working to improve it.

Now I have a new therapist who is much more pleasant and affordable and have no problems with connecting.

[Ltl89]

Yes, I have. To be honest, I don't always agree with my therapist or feel like there is anything to talk about, but she helps me for the most part.

[Eva Marie]

Yes, i've had great sessions and not so great sessions with my therapist. I just chalked it up to us being humans and having good days and not so good days, or me just not having much to say that day.

I've had far more good sessions than "bad"sessions with her.

[LivingTheDream]

Saw mine Monday, sort of talked about random things, so don't feel too much progress was made then. Then today, an incident at work which left me extremely depressed for most the day, made me wish I was seeing her tonight instead. Oh well, something to talk about with her on Thursday then (I see her 2x a week, shows how screwed up I am atm lol)

[Jessica Merriman]

What a lot of people aren't aware of is that in every session when you don't feel anything has been accomplished they note subtle things to work into your specific care plan. They may not say anything then, but it will come out soon enough. Sometimes they are just looking for consistency or trends in your moods, etc. Not every session is meant to be a break through moment. I used to think it was a waste of time myself, but not anymore.

[LivingTheDream]

Ya, I think Thursday's one will be pretty emotional one for me

[Jamie D]

Therapy is going well so far, but once in a while I have a session where I just don't connect.  No progress seems to be made, I feel stupid, that this is all a waste of time or fake or petty, that I'm taking steps backwards rather than forwards.

Just me?  Anyone else experienced those frustrating sessions where you just think it was a waste of time even going to the therapist's office that day?

When it got to the point, with my first therapist, that I was teaching her about gender issues, it was time to make a change.

[Arch]

I do wish my therapist would stop being so damned positive. Makes me resentful on some days and violently angry on others. I'm still making progress through all of the hostility, but I've been feeling this way for a long time and see no end in sight.

I know I'm screwed up, but I can't seem to control the kneejerk reaction. All I can do is try not to show it.

[JoanneB]

I do have the occasional session where my therapist and I do not connect. By that I mean the session seems to be sort of scripted, going through the motions and not the normal back and forth; challenging, or reinforcing, that occurs.

I attribute it to just her, or even I, having a bad day. It has to be difficult to have that job and be running at 100% all the time

[TerriT]

I don't really think so. But I only saw mine about once a month and then only for around 10 sessions in total. I had 1 really bad visit which set my hrt back a bit, but otherwise we didn't have anything to discuss but my gender issues. She is pretty much an lgbt specialist.

[JenSquid]

It happens.

For me, they've often turned out to be the most productive sessions..

As an example, for a while my therapist kept suggesting I was more genderqueer than MtF.. At the time, I thought he was nuts. But in the week or so after that session, I found myself giving the idea some thought.. I still didn't agree with him, but I could see where he'd been coming from.

My therapist is suggesting this as well. Last time she asked "Why do you feel you need to transition? Why can't you be happy as [male name]?" It's a perfectly valid question, and that discussion certainly illuminated where some of my non-gender problems eclipse my gender-issues in creating my misery, but it got under my skin nevertheless. The fact I haven't felt particularly feminine this past week hasn't made why it did any clearer, either. I guess because it makes it seem like I don't really have a problem, or that I'm left without a solution. I'll take it up with her the next time I see her.

I have also had a few sessions where my therapist has wanted to focus on other topics such as learning disabilities, much to my dismay.