Passing

[Jason C]

Apologies if this is in the wrong section.

Alright, so, I don't entirely know if I'm transgender or not. But I'm not going to know how it makes me feel to be a guy unless I live as a guy. So I'm going to go by a male name, male pronouns, etc. and see how it feels, if it feels right, if it feels like who I'm meant to be. The problem is there is no chance I'm going to be able to pass. I'm not stereotypically feminine at all, but I think it's the shape of my face or something? If you look at me, you know I'm female. Sure, I could cut my hair short and get a masculine haircut, but I don't think that'd help, I think that'd just expose more of my feminine face. But also as it stands, I have dreadlocks and they're very important to me, they're more than a hairstyle. I intend on keeping them for a very long time, if not for life. Men can have dreadlocks and long hair, but they also have other features that make it obvious that they're male. I've no idea what I can do to look more like a guy, because as of now, I really don't look like a guy in the slightest.

I know passing isn't meant to be the be all and end all. I'm doing this for me, not so I can pass. But I feel like...if I never pass, I won't know if I feel more comfortable or not as a guy, because I'll probably be very uncomfortable with people not accepting that I'm a guy because of how I look, because I have anxiety issues and whatnot.

Also, I know testosterone would help that, but I'm still not totally sure of things, so if I were to go on testosterone, that's probably a few years into the future. Here's a random picture of me anyway for reference (I'm not trying to make myself look more like a guy in this picture in any way, this is just me):



Any ideas on how to look more like a guy without just doing the "get a guy's haircut" thing? Or if there's nothing I can do about it, how do I handle not being able to pass? :\

Thanks for your time!

[LordKAT]

I'd say that hair isn't your problem. Clothing and a binder would do it for you.


and attitude.

[ErinWDK]

and attitude.

Attitude is the biggest thing.  Clothing and a binder will help a lot, but what you need to pass (or blend in) is confidence.  Of course the way to develop confidence is wade right in and try your best to fit in.

That from me who would love to be delightfully ambiguous but can only present in guy mode...

[Michelle123]

At first I thought you were a guy trying to pass for a women until I read the thread.  I think binders, voice, and clothes and you got it.

[Jason C]

Thanks to all that replied, your input is much appreciated I'm obviously not wearing a binder in the picture, but I bought a binder a week or so ago, so hopefully that'll be cool. I think maybe losing weight and then working out a bit might help too, right?

At first I thought you were a guy trying to pass for a women until I read the thread.  I think binders, voice, and clothes and you got it.

Well, that's a big confidence boost

[Michelle123]

At first I thought you were a guy trying to pass for a women until I read the thread.  I think binders, voice, and clothes and you got it.

My thoughts as well. 

[Kyler]

I thought you had been on T for ages due to your avatar.

[Evienne]

Yeah, I too thought you were a MTF until reading.
So that's definately a good sign that you can pull off a guy if that's who you want to be!

[crowcrow223]

Hmm.. sometimes it's not really about passing, you know. as You mentioned you're trying to find yourself, see how it goes, see if you like it, you're not convinced you're a transsexual person who has to be passable (due to various reasons, RLT and stuff), you're just kind of testing the ground, so get a binder, look for some tutorials on youtube how to create a realistic looking beard, and good luck!