My worst fear. Still.
I was able to set boundaries and stay with them, find out what was the comfort zone and keep with it, to keep my wife. She sees male most of the time. She ignores the feminine side. There are still difficulties, but I save full transition for when I am alone, and warn her before she walks in on me. However I have preserved my female physical needs, I just throw something over it. From the neck up she still sees the same person she married, no dramatic changes, just overall softenings. I was able to maintain (horrors) a beard for the trade off of keeping the marrage, it is something familiar for her and keeps the rednecks off my neck. She will never ever see my torso.
So far, it has worked, and there also has been intensive prayer.
So sorry to hear of this with you. Personally, I cannot stop the estrogen. But I can maintain the familiar for her. Sex was lost years ago, partially to BPH, and mostly to dysphoria interference.
Maybe a joint session with a really good trans therapist together can work out some kind of common ground.
I have 25 years of marriage at stake. I don't know what I would do either.
If you have the courage to talk of detransition, perhaps you can try the middle ground.
Good luck. So sorry.
