On the born female perspective

[Nero]

Not sure whether this is even worthy of a topic. But I've been feeling lately like there really isn't much on here from an 'assigned at birth female point of view'. I mean sure, there are plenty of other guys on here. But most are early in transition and when I was at that point I didn't think I had anything to say on the female experience either. Believe me, I had very little interaction with females pre-transition and am lacking some significant socialization. But I still know what it feels like to be seen as female, and especially an attractive female. And I even was kinda sexist - I hung around only guys and bemoaned the very idea of a female cop frisking me or female judge sentencing me. If you asked me back then, I'dve said women seemed more mechanical and less human (except of course for my mother).

But I'm not that kid anymore, I've transitioned. When I was early in transition, I got a lot of tips from trans women here. Stuff I couldn't possibly know simply because I hadn't lived as male. I just feel alone and not listened to when I try to offer the same. And I often see very skewed ideas of womanhood here. And over and over on these forums, we hear how advantageous it is for AFAB persons, how much freedom we have, etc. And how awful it is to grow up male and have all these restrictions. But we never hear the reverse. It's true female born persons have certain freedoms but there are also a lot of limitations. I may have been technically permitted to wear whatever I wanted, but I certainly did not grow up free.

It seems like some here think being female is freedom, the holy grail, when it is not any easier than being male. Just different. Or maybe it is for people who weren't indoctrinated as female. Without all the programming and limitations instilled, I'd probably be a different person. Being female looks pretty good if you erase all that 'second class citizen from birth' stuff. If I had 20+ years of male training, being female would probably look good to me too. And maybe the reverse for me. Maybe I feel more free to be myself because I haven't had all that specific male training to stifle my spirit. Who knows?

[Nero]

To add: a lot of what people think of when they think of female privilege or the advantages of being a woman are mainly conferred on young, beautiful women. Sure, if you're between 16 and 25 and have a rocking body and face, you've got some advantages. But ask a 40 year old woman or a 20 year old 200 lb whale whether this holds true. Ask the 40 year old or the 20 year old 'whale' whether she can wear whatever she wants.

[Calder Smith]

To add: a lot of what people think of when they think of female privilege or the advantages of being a woman are mainly conferred on young, beautiful women. Sure, if you're between 16 and 25 and have a rocking body and face, you've got some advantages. But ask a 40 year old woman or a 20 year old 200 lb whale whether this holds true. Ask the 40 year old or the 20 year old 'whale' whether she can wear whatever she wants.

I wasn't 'lucky' enough to be born an attractive female. In girl mode, I am bullied for my appearance by 'pretty' girls and it definitely seems like all the beautiful women have advantages.
At times, I even think girls can be a lot meaner and more critical than guys.

[Nero]

To add: a lot of what people think of when they think of female privilege or the advantages of being a woman are mainly conferred on young, beautiful women. Sure, if you're between 16 and 25 and have a rocking body and face, you've got some advantages. But ask a 40 year old woman or a 20 year old 200 lb whale whether this holds true. Ask the 40 year old or the 20 year old 'whale' whether she can wear whatever she wants.

I wasn't 'lucky' enough to be born an attractive female. In girl mode, I am bullied for my appearance by 'pretty' girls and it definitely seems like all the beautiful women have advantages.
At times, I even think girls can be a lot meaner and more critical than guys.

Oh definitely. More evil for sure.

[Sarah Louise]

Its hard for me, born something other than female (grrr), to comment.  I think a lot of it is how we were brought up by our parents who saw us as one gender or the other.

Anyone whose body is something other than the "ideal" has issues about gender advantages.  Its hard to see the advantage that others think we have, no matter which gender, we were born and raised to think its normal.

Ahhh to have been born correct. 

[ThePhoenix]

Not sure whether this is even worthy of a topic. But I've been feeling lately like there really isn't much on here from an 'assigned at birth female point of view'. I mean sure, there are plenty of other guys on here. But most are early in transition and when I was at that point I didn't think I had anything to say on the female experience either. Believe me, I had very little interaction with females pre-transition and am lacking some significant socialization. But I still know what it feels like to be seen as female, and especially an attractive female. And I even was kinda sexist - I hung around only guys and bemoaned the very idea of a female cop frisking me or female judge sentencing me. If you asked me back then, I'dve said women seemed more mechanical and less human (except of course for my mother).

Well, I think it deserves a thread . . . I've wanted to start one addressing what you are saying, but I haven't and won't.

But I'm not that kid anymore, I've transitioned. When I was early in transition, I got a lot of tips from trans women here. Stuff I couldn't possibly know simply because I hadn't lived as male. I just feel alone and not listened to when I try to offer the same. And I often see very skewed ideas of womanhood here.

When I hear transwomen talk about womanhood or femininity, the things they say are often bizarre and sometimes even insulting.  I often want to stop them and ask whether they have ever even been around a woman.  In truth, most MAAB persons have not spent time around women unless they were trying to date them.  And they certainly have not spent time actually listening to women talk about their lives or watched the experiences women have or paid any attention to their daily lives.  MAAB transwomen are no different in this way and I find that it often shows.  Very strongly.  In ways subtle and overt.  I'm at a point now that when some transwoman tells me about their "natural femininity," I just don't believe them. 

And over and over on these forums, we hear how advantageous it is for AFAB persons, how much freedom we have, etc. And how awful it is to grow up male and have all these restrictions. But we never hear the reverse. It's true female born persons have certain freedoms but there are also a lot of limitations. I may have been technically permitted to wear whatever I wanted, but I certainly did not grow up free.

I think that's true.  There is a different set of freedoms and restrictions on each side of the fence.  But I will say in the defense of those who talk about them in the way you describe, that having the right set of freedoms and limitations can, itself, feel freeing.

I find the clothing thing very strange.  Why can't so many transwomen seem to ever bring themselves to wear pants?  Most FAAB persons wear pants most of the time.  Frankly, skinny jeans are awesome.  The way they feel on your legs and the way they make your legs look is way better than men's jeans have to offer.  But there is often a strange fixation on clothing that I don't understand . . . .

It seems like some here think being female is freedom, the holy grail, when it is not any easier than being male. Just different. Or maybe it is for people who weren't indoctrinated as female. Without all the programming and limitations instilled, I'd probably be a different person. Being female looks pretty good if you erase all that 'second class citizen from birth' stuff. If I had 20+ years of male training, being female would probably look good to me too. And maybe the reverse for me. Maybe I feel more free to be myself because I haven't had all that specific male training to stifle my spirit. Who knows?

Who knows indeed?  It's really hard to say about that . . . I wonder if the tendency of genderqueer persons to be FAAB sheds any light?

To add: a lot of what people think of when they think of female privilege or the advantages of being a woman are mainly conferred on young, beautiful women. Sure, if you're between 16 and 25 and have a rocking body and face, you've got some advantages. But ask a 40 year old woman or a 20 year old 200 lb whale whether this holds true. Ask the 40 year old or the 20 year old 'whale' whether she can wear whatever she wants.

I think there is much truth to this.  But, again, I'm not sure why clothes are so important here.  There's a lot more to being a woman than the clothes.  I wonder if the constant fixation on clothes as such an important part of being a woman has anything to do with the skewedness of perceptions of womanhood?

Oh definitely. More evil for sure.

Can I add b*tchier to the list?  I usually don't use that word, but sometimes it is the only one that fits.

[Calder Smith]

I wasn't 'lucky' enough to be born an attractive female. In girl mode, I am bullied for my appearance by 'pretty' girls and it definitely seems like all the beautiful women have advantages.
At times, I even think girls can be a lot meaner and more critical than guys.


Oh definitely. More evil for sure.

Evil? Yeah, sometimes.

I did try to live as a girl for a little while. You know, keeping up with the latest trends and all that and I was still bullied relentlessly for not being pretty enough. That is one of the reasons why I stuck with guys; they don't really care how you look as long as you're a chill guy.

[Nero]

Its hard for me, born something other than female (grrr), to comment.  I think a lot of it is how we were brought up by our parents who saw us as one gender or the other.

Anyone whose body is something other than the "ideal" has issues about gender advantages.  Its hard to see the advantage that others think we have, no matter which gender, we were born and raised to think its normal.

Ahhh to have been born correct. 

Oh, I can definitely agree with that. The ideals for male and female are very narrow. And it's tough if you don't fit them. And I see what you're saying - a small, effeminate male probably rolls his eyes at male privilege as much as an 'ugly' girl does at female privilege.

[Calder Smith]

Well, I think it deserves a thread . . . I've wanted to start one addressing what you are saying, but I haven't and won't.

When I hear transwomen talk about womanhood or femininity, the things they say are often bizarre and sometimes even insulting.  I often want to stop them and ask whether they have ever even been around a woman.  In truth, most MAAB persons have not spent time around women unless they were trying to date them.  And they certainly have not spent time actually listening to women talk about their lives or watched the experiences women have or paid any attention to their daily lives.  MAAB transwomen are no different in this way and I find that it often shows.  Very strongly.  In ways subtle and overt.  I'm at a point now that when some transwoman tells me about their "natural femininity," I just don't believe them. 

I think that's true.  There is a different set of freedoms and restrictions on each side of the fence.  But I will say in the defense of those who talk about them in the way you describe, that having the right set of freedoms and limitations can, itself, feel freeing.

I find the clothing thing very strange.  Why can't so many transwomen seem to ever bring themselves to wear pants?  Most FAAB persons wear pants most of the time.  Frankly, skinny jeans are awesome.  The way they feel on your legs and the way they make your legs look is way better than men's jeans have to offer.  But there is often a strange fixation on clothing that I don't understand . . . .

Who knows indeed?  It's really hard to say about that . . . I wonder if the tendency of genderqueer persons to be FAAB sheds any light?

I think there is much truth to this.  But, again, I'm not sure why clothes are so important here.  There's a lot more to being a woman than the clothes.  I wonder if the constant fixation on clothes as such an important part of being a woman has anything to do with the skewedness of perceptions of womanhood?

Can I add b*tchier to the list?  I usually don't use that word, but sometimes it is the only one that fits.

When I visit the MTF side of the board, I'm always kind of confused. Being a woman isn't all about wearing dresses, high heels and looking flashy; at least I think so. The women I know don't focus on their clothing unless they're going to some event or something.

[Nero]

Well, I think it deserves a thread . . . I've wanted to start one addressing what you are saying, but I haven't and won't.

Really? <does happy dance at not being alone> lol

When I hear transwomen talk about womanhood or femininity, the things they say are often bizarre and sometimes even insulting.  I often want to stop them and ask whether they have ever even been around a woman.  In truth, most MAAB persons have not spent time around women unless they were trying to date them.  And they certainly have not spent time actually listening to women talk about their lives or watched the experiences women have or paid any attention to their daily lives.  MAAB transwomen are no different in this way and I find that it often shows.  Very strongly.  In ways subtle and overt.  I'm at a point now that when some transwoman tells me about their "natural femininity," I just don't believe them.

Yes, and sometimes there are some insulting things said that few probably pick up on. One possible explanation is the power differential. Males are not trained to understand or anticipate the needs of females but females are trained to accommodate and understand males. Basically, women are trained to understand men much more than they are trained to understand women. This is more than just brain gender.

If you were a slave on an 1800s US plantation, you'd receive certain training. (not equating women to slaves, but they still grow up as lesser than males) Hence, there probably is a big difference just based on status from birth. Someone transitioning as a teen or adult to a woman is just never going to have that short straw experience someone born a girl does. It's a 50/50 roll of the dice. And from a societal and historical perspective, tails (female) you lose. That alone is huge. And accounts for a lot.

EDIT: Adding...

I think this is where some rad fems are coming from (though I do not agree with them). We really can't just erase the fact to be female is to be a minority. To be female is to have a lesser status all over the world and all throughout remembered history. So, I think where some of them are coming from is that this minority status, this 'bad roll of the dice' is very important to the female experience. Just like you really can't separate the experience of being Black in the US with what that means for the individual in terms of history and minority status. Because that history and minority status is a huge part of Black identity in the US. And the same for other minorities.

So, unwittingly, trans women are coming into a minority identity after the fact. And however horribly they were treated, they don't know what it is to grow up recognized by the world as having that minority identity. It's really not as simple as gender, because female is a lesser, minority status and always has been. So basically when someone male is going on about horrible their life was - it comes off like a white man going on about how he lives in a trailer. Sure, we get it, he's poor, his life sucks but that has f*** all to do with racism.

[Northern Jane]

I have a little different perspective I suppose 'cause my life was rather strange. I identified as female from earliest childhood, all my early friends were female, and I think I just confused people who thought I was supposed to be male - I certainly didn't fit "the boy stereotype" in any way. I sort of fell in middle ground and by age 5 or 6 other kids referred to me as "it". Neither stereotype was totally open to me but when I transitioned at 24 the door to any "male privilege" slammed shut but the door to woman's life was wide open. I lost whatever latitude I had to venture beyond stereotypes for a long time and only with the more liberal views of recent decades has that situation changed. It still raises eyebrows when I dabble in a "traditional male interest". I also (sometimes) have friends comment "Why don't you dress up a bit?" LOL!

In 40 years I haven't see much in the way of "female privilege" but often ran into the closed door of "male privilege". I don't think either sex has all that much freedom in general society.

[ThePhoenix]

When I visit the MTF side of the board, I'm always kind of confused. Being a woman isn't all about wearing dresses, high heels and looking flashy; at least I think so. The women I know don't focus on their clothing unless they're going to some event or something.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

By the way, I really appreciate you saying that!

Seriously.  Most women wear pants most of the time.  (I practically live in skinny jeans).  And aren't all that flashy.  It seems like maybe a lot of trans women's expressions of what is described as femininity come from drag culture, which is very flashy . . . But it's a parody of femininity rather than an authentic expression of femininity.  A lot can be said about how MAAB don't learn these things growing up, so they don't have any other place to go.  But that's not entirely true.  Women are all over the place.  Go hang out with them.  Really listen.  You'd learn a lot. 

I'm not sure what it says that so many transwomen are so vocal about their desire but yet so unwilling to spend time and pay attention to the people who are already doing it and have a lot of practice.  It seems to me to say something very bad when transwomen aren't willing to learn about womanhood from women.  I'd imagine that a person who brings that attitude into any sort of life as a woman is also setting themselves up for trouble.  Because men are going to have trouble relating to them in anything other than a sexual way and they (the transwoman) are unwilling to relate to women in any other way themselves.  So that doesn't leave a great many places to turn when you really just want to socialize with someone by chatting over coffee without an agenda.  Is this why so many of them stay so long in the trans* community and socialize by circulating from one group to the next?

I'm also not sure what it means that I take so much criticism from transwomen for being . . . (This amazes me) . . . "Too much like a woman."  It's like many--not all, but a large chunk--aren't really serious when they say they want to be women.  Maybe they want to crossdress full time or change their bodies, but they don't want to fully embrace what life is as a woman in this world.  And so they criticize anyone who rings too authentic?

I don't feel comfortable giving transition advice to people.  The one piece of advice I do give on occasion is to befriend women.  A common response is "but what if I'm attracted to them?"  I guess my response to that is that if you want to be one, then it might be useful to start seeing women as something more like human beings and less like sexual targets.  But girls learn their way from being around other girls, their mothers, and other women.  They don't learn by studying videos, textbooks, and private lessons.  I suspect that if transwomen spent more time around women they might learn an awful lot the same way.

Really? <does happy dance at not being alone> lol

lol thank you for making me smile

Yes, and sometimes there are some insulting things said that few probably pick up on. One possible explanation is the power differential. Males are not trained to understand or anticipate the needs of females but females are trained to accommodate and understand males. Basically, women are trained to understand men much more than they are trained to understand women. This is more than just brain gender.

Agree. 

If you were a slave on an 1800s US plantation, you'd receive certain training. (not equating women to slaves, but they still grow up as lesser than males) Hence, there probably is a big difference just based on status from birth. Someone transitioning as a teen or adult to a woman is just never going to have that short straw experience someone born a girl does. It's a 50/50 roll of the dice. And from a societal and historical perspective, tails (female) you lose. That alone is huge. And accounts for a lot.

There have been some discussions about male privilege and other issues that seem to boil down to a debate over who has it worse.  I wonder if it is okay to just notice the differences and acknowledge them without it becoming about who is more or less privileged.  I am thinking maybe that way we could steer clear of some of the bruised feelings and other issues that tend to sidetrack these threads otherwise?

[Edge]

Darn it. I wrote something and it disappeared.

On the formerly seen as an attractive female perspective... It's not all that fun being seen as an attractive female either. I may not look it now, but I used to be pretty attractive. I was treated like an object. It was like the only worth I had in people's eyes was because of my body. Specifically, what it could do for guys. A lot of my guy friends just pretended to be my friend because they wanted to screw me and would stop pretending if they couldn't, if I let them, or if they did it regardless. Others were only sort of friends with me because they were friends with my boyfriend, but they would shut me out. I still have hang ups about being seen as attractive.

[Calder Smith]

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

By the way, I really appreciate you saying that!

Seriously.  Most women wear pants most of the time.  (I practically live in skinny jeans).  And aren't all that flashy.  It seems like maybe a lot of trans women's expressions of what is described as femininity come from drag culture, which is very flashy . . . But it's a parody of femininity rather than an authentic expression of femininity.  A lot can be said about how MAAB don't learn these things growing up, so they don't have any other place to go.  But that's not entirely true.  Women are all over the place.  Go hang out with them.  Really listen.  You'd learn a lot. 

I'm not sure what it says that so many transwomen are so vocal about their desire but yet so unwilling to spend time and pay attention to the people who are already doing it and have a lot of practice.  It seems to me to say something very bad when transwomen aren't willing to learn about womanhood from women.  I'd imagine that a person who brings that attitude into any sort of life as a woman is also setting themselves up for trouble.  Because men are going to have trouble relating to them in anything other than a sexual way and they (the transwoman) are unwilling to relate to women in any other way themselves.  So that doesn't leave a great many places to turn when you really just want to socialize with someone by chatting over coffee without an agenda.  Is this why so many of them stay so long in the trans* community and socialize by circulating from one group to the next?

I'm also not sure what it means that I take so much criticism from transwomen for being . . . (This amazes me) . . . "Too much like a woman."  It's like many--not all, but a large chunk--aren't really serious when they say they want to be women.  Maybe they want to crossdress full time or change their bodies, but they don't want to fully embrace what life is as a woman in this world.  And so they criticize anyone who rings too authentic?

I don't feel comfortable giving transition advice to people.  The one piece of advice I do give on occasion is to befriend women.  A common response is "but what if I'm attracted to them?"  I guess my response to that is that if you want to be one, then it might be useful to start seeing women as something more like human beings and less like sexual targets.  But girls learn their way from being around other girls, their mothers, and other women.  They don't learn by studying videos, textbooks, and private lessons.  I suspect that if transwomen spent more time around women they might learn an awful lot the same way.

lol thank you for making me smile

Agree. 

There have been some discussions about male privilege and other issues that seem to boil down to a debate over who has it worse.  I wonder if it is okay to just notice the differences and acknowledge them without it becoming about who is more or less privileged.  I am thinking maybe that way we could steer clear of some of the bruised feelings and other issues that tend to sidetrack these threads otherwise?

Yes, it is very true. Many women don't even like to wear dresses or a ton of makeup; I like girls better in sweatpants, messy hair and no makeup anyways. Natural beauty.

Femininity is not all about clothes and trying to look as flashy and attention grabbing as possible. Yes, some women do like to wear dresses, skirts and makeup a lot but I think being a woman is so much more than that. I go on the MTF board and see ladies trying to look all fancy but I think being a woman is about natural beauty, being strong, caring and understanding among other things. Being a woman didn't fit me physically or emotionally, but I love women and I do admire them.

[Nero]

There have been some discussions about male privilege and other issues that seem to boil down to a debate over who has it worse.  I wonder if it is okay to just notice the differences and acknowledge them without it becoming about who is more or less privileged.  I am thinking maybe that way we could steer clear of some of the bruised feelings and other issues that tend to sidetrack these threads otherwise?

Well, I'm never one to get into the Oppression Olympics, but I do think it's important to acknowledge female as a minority status. It doesn't mean any one individual has had it worse. Undoubtedly, there are many males (and/or trans women) who had it worse than me. But to me, it's like arguing that I once owned trailer in a race debate. I wasn't born Black in the US and I will never know what that's like. And respectfully, regardless of their history, I don't think anyone who wasn't assigned female at birth knows what it is to grow up female.

[ThePhoenix]

On the formerly seen as an attractive female perspective... It's not all that fun being seen as an attractive female either. I may not look it now, but I used to be pretty attractive. I was treated like an object. It was like the only worth I had in people's eyes was because of my body. Specifically, what it could do for guys. A lot of my guy friends just pretended to be my friend because they wanted to screw me and would stop pretending if they couldn't, if I let them, or if they did it regardless. Others were only sort of friends with me because they were friends with my boyfriend, but they would shut me out. I still have hang ups about being seen as attractive.

Yes!!!

And now that I've used that one word to make this a sort of on topic post, I would like to just add that I've been very frustrated with this site and the inability I've found to talk about my issues and what is on my mind.  I've been thinking more and more about just walking away.  But I am just about squealing with delight over this thread because it gives me the first chance I think I've ever had to talk about this issue . . . Which is something that really stirs up a lot of feeling for me that I don't get to express.  I'm biting my tongue a lot, but I'm glad for the chance to at least talk about it a little and I'm glad I haven't given up and walked away.

[Nero]

On the formerly seen as an attractive female perspective... It's not all that fun being seen as an attractive female either. I may not look it now, but I used to be pretty attractive. I was treated like an object. It was like the only worth I had in people's eyes was because of my body. Specifically, what it could do for guys. A lot of my guy friends just pretended to be my friend because they wanted to screw me and would stop pretending if they couldn't, if I let them, or if they did it regardless. Others were only sort of friends with me because they were friends with my boyfriend, but they would shut me out. I still have hang ups about being seen as attractive.

Yes!!!

And now that I've used that one word to make this a sort of on topic post, I would like to just add that I've been very frustrated with this site and the inability I've found to talk about my issues and what is on my mind.  I've been thinking more and more about just walking away.  But I am just about squealing with delight over this thread because it gives me the first chance I think I've ever had to talk about this issue . . . Which is something that really stirs up a lot of feeling for me that I don't get to express.  I'm biting my tongue a lot, but I'm glad for the chance to at least talk about it a little and I'm glad I haven't given up and walked away,

That's awesome hon! Really, I'm glad. I've held myself in a lot. Especially since I've been admin. As mod, I really didn't.  But really we need your perspective. And really anyone who will talk about female issues. Female issues are trans issues. Most people here either are or have spent time as women. Women's issues are trans issues.

[Edge]

There have been some discussions about male privilege and other issues that seem to boil down to a debate over who has it worse.  I wonder if it is okay to just notice the differences and acknowledge them without it becoming about who is more or less privileged.  I am thinking maybe that way we could steer clear of some of the bruised feelings and other issues that tend to sidetrack these threads otherwise?

It's kind of ridiculous to argue about who has it worse. Wouldn't it be better to figure out what all the problems are and fix them?
I get this in rape conversations too. People keep talking as if only women are raped by only men. If someone pipes up that people of any gender can be raped by people of any gender, they suddenly get shushed by people pointing out how women are statistically raped more often and more often by men. Yes and that's bad. All rape is bad. Let's work on fighting against all rape, shall we? (Sorry I harp on this a lot.)

[Ltl89]

I don't think I see being female as a magical thing or inherently better.  It's just something that I feel suits me more.  As though it's more comforting and authentic.  That's not to say there are no struggles to being female.  Hell, in many ways, I'm sure people must think I'm crazy for exchanging "male" status with that of the average female's.  However, it makes sense for me to do this even if there are hardships. It's how I see myself and it makes me feel more comfortable.  then again, I haven't experienced enough to make a definitive statement in this area.

One thing that I would point out is that I think that both sides tend to forget how tough it is to be trans regardless of gender.  Growing up a young trans woman or transman is bound to have problems outside of the regular issues that both gender do face.  It makes the idea of being one gender inherently worse in it's nature because of the hardships and negative experiences.  In many ways, growing up male has it's hardships but it also has it's pluses.  It's just when you don't see yourself as male and can't really fit in well, growing up male isn;t the pleasure cruise that most men view it as.

[Nero]

One thing that I would point out is that I think that both sides tend to forget how tough it is to be trans regardless of gender.  Growing up a young trans woman or transman is bound to have problems outside of the regular issues that both gender do face.  It makes the idea of being one gender inherently worse in it's nature because of the hardships and negative experiences.  In many ways, growing up male has it's hardships but it also has it's pluses.  It's just when you don't see yourself as male and can't really fit in well, growing up male isn;t the pleasure cruise that most men view it as.

Oh, I agree. Being trans sucks from either side. But being trans even though you don't want it, you are born assigned to one of two sexes. And if the sex is female, you have been assigned a minority status that means a ton for how you will be seen and treated in your early years. That's all I'm saying. Being trans either way sucks. But if you're assigned female at birth, you're assigned a minority status that means a lot. That is huge for your life. If you're internally female but assigned male, you escape this status no matter how horrible your life is. That's all I'm trying to point it. That it's different.