Unintentional coming out

[Emi]

Hi !

Maybe you saw my previous posts, maybe you didn't, so I'll explain what did happen...
I already came out to a close friend but his reaction was really bad and he thinks I've a mental illness (even if being trans* (or MTF in my case) isn't a mental illness anymore in France for years) and he told me I have to see therapists in order to be normal... He isn't my friend anymore 
Even if I know how he thinks, I wanted him to be informed and maybe make him change his thoughts, but he's still thinking I'm not "normal"... and he didn't stop there.
He told almost all the boys he knows in our high school what I said him and what he thought...
Now, almost everybody know how I am and a lot of people call me "->-bleeped-<-" or "->-bleeped-<-" or insult me or tell me to kill myself every time they see me...

Now I feel so dipressed that I listen to those who said me to kill myself...

[DiDi]

It can be so hard when you misjudge a person and think they are your friend. It's out now. It would be eventually and those who are calling you names would eventually have to be struck from your "friends" list. It might be a good time to go now to those who are NOT behaving like that and share with them. You will need your real friends now and if they know your former so-called friends they are going to find out anyway....and it will be better coming from you. Wishing you success in this.

[JamesG]

High school is probably the worst time in your life to come out (or anything for that matter). Kids are cruel at that age and don't have the restraint mature adults (usually) have, nor do you have the freedom to remove yourself from a hostile environment.  I feel for you. 

[FalseHybridPrincess]

Ηang in there , I know its hard ,,,try to find inner strenght to go through this
unfortunately such people exists it was a mistake that you trusted that guy , but people who accept you will come .
you re not alone ,indeed highschool kids are not mature at all I told you before its hard to do something like this on highschool
but in the end it will worth it

[ForceMustang]

I truly feel sorry for you, highschool was never a bliss to me, but nothing compared to what you're going through.
But try to not let these morons get to you, they are not worth it (that's what my mom always told me, and even if i know that it's not easily done, i still think that's the best advice she ever gave me).
Eventually you will leave highschool, and i swear that it gets better 🙂


(i gather your french from your pseudo ? if you need to talk to a french buddy, you know with the foreign langage thing out of the way, or else, do not think twice and message me 🙂 )

[Sincerely Tegan]

Does your high school have some kind of Pride or LGBT Alliance? I live in liberal Southern California where every school that has employed me has had a version of this.

Is there a school psychologist?  It seems like there should be SOME kind of resources available to help you.

High school can suck, but it's not the real world. Don't forget that. High school is a flash in the pan of your life. It DOES get better. Hang in there, girl, and take it one day at a time.

Tegan

[Emi]

Thanks for all your replies and your support 🙂
I'm still dipressed due to these ... but I wont have to face them forever so, I got hope 😛

i gather your french from your pseudo ? if you need to talk to a french buddy, you know with the foreign langage thing out of the way, or else, do not think twice and message me

Another french 🙂
Je t'enverrai un message 😉

Does your high school have some kind of Pride or LGBT Alliance? I live in liberal Southern California where every school that has employed me has had a version of this.

Is there a school psychologist?  It seems like there should be SOME kind of resources available to help you.

High school can suck, but it's not the real world. Don't forget that. High school is a flash in the pan of your life. It DOES get better. Hang in there, girl, and take it one day at a time.

Tegan

No, Tegan, there isn't any "Pride or LGBT Alliance", I don't think we have this in France. We haven't any psychologist too. (In fact we don't even have a real nursery ; students used to steal drugs)
My school has a high number of racist and homophobic morons. And even some teachers think like that.
But I have some real friends who would never judge me. I also have a really nice teacher with who I already talked about LGBT issues.
I think it's time to get out of the closet by myself !

[Johnny Tristan]

Hang in there!  High school isn't an easy time for anybody, trust me.  Most of us have been there and done that.  I battled depression and was suicidal, at the brink of giving up but I realised that it would be a mistake if I were to leave this world.  I know in my heart that I'm here for a reason.  I've got dreams to accomplish and a whole life ahead of me full of possibilities. And so do you.  Don't give up yet.  Your "friend" is being a prick, that's all.  You can either ignore the people that call you names or you can stand up for yourself in a peaceful way.  Just remember that they are also young and they're fighting their inner demons too.  Their own insecurity attacks the insecurity of others and for whatever reason, it helps them cope.  They'll change someday.

Everything will get better as long as you stay true to yourself.  If you feel like it's the time to come out, do it!  If it's not, wait until you're ready.  I'm sure that even France has gender therapists or counseling somewhere.  If not, there are some licensed online therapists that can give you a letter of recommendation for hormones (when you are legally an adult and you're ready for that next step in your life).  You have a large community that is here for you, so don't get too down and keep your chin up, miss.  We're all in this together and our lives will get better as long as we keep fighting through!  I'm sorry this happened to you so suddenly.  Like I said, keep hanging in there.  It WILL get better! 

-- John

[Emi]

Thank you John, really 
Yes I got dreams, even if I sometimes don't think I'll be able to accomplish them.
Felt suicidal yesterday but you made me feel better you all 🙂
I think it's time to come out to my real friends. I need them to face these morons
Dunno how I'll do with my family...

[Sincerely Tegan]

I'm sorry about your lack of readily available resources. I don't know why, but I always thought France was more progressive about these things; I must be mistaken.

Still, you seem to believe that there are friends in your life who will stand by you on your journey, and that's great. What's the best defense against fifty enemies? One friend.

And you are lucky enough to have a resource that did not exist long ago- the Internet. Any time you feel alone, hop on the web and remind yourself you're not.

[Emi]

France gov is progressive, not the french people. There are still so much racist, homophobic, nationalist patriots.

I'll try to come out to some good friends today. I know they're really open-minded.

Thank you again for all the support, not only you, but also all Susan's Place's members, this family is far better than mine

[Sincerely Tegan]

Keep us posted; I'd really like to know how that goes. You girls inspire me so much, and it's good to hear your stories. Sometimes if we cannot see the strength in ourselves, it's therapeutic to see it in others.

-Teg

[antonia]

Life gets a lot better after high school!

I sometimes think the world entirely filled with intelligent, funny and tolerant people but that's partly because those are the attributes of most people that I choose to associate with and associate with me these days. Unfortunately high school is like a prison in some ways, you can't choose who to associate with, just remember that friends you make now will most likely be your friends for life and the others you won't have to see for the rest of your life after you graduate.

As a bonus it turns out that it's the open minded/genuine people that do interesting things with their life.

France gov is progressive, not the french people. There are still so much racist, homophobic, nationalist patriots.

I'll try to come out to some good friends today. I know they're really open-minded.

Thank you again for all the support, not only you, but also all Susan's Place's members, this family is far better than mine

[Emi]

I hope you're right, antonia.
I really hope people get less stupid after high school.

I came out to more people, good ones this time ^^
I already said it here :
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,162031.0.html