I called the Trevor lifeline

[Ryan1995]

I finally called the Trevor lifeline. I'm feeling a little bit better than I was a few weeks ago. One of the things that I've realized is that life is short and I can't waste my whole life trying to please others. For the first time in my life I'm not worried or afraid of what people think of me. If my family doesn't accept me for who I am then that's ok. In fact this year I've decided to cut my hair again and I'm not growing it back. This week I am going to officially come out. It's not going to be easy, but I think I can do it. Even though I'm 18 I know who I am and this is going to be the year when I start the journey to being myself and loving me for who I am. I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm in a better place now even though I still have my moments of depression sometimes. One of the things that I asked the guy on the lifeline was if he had any tips on coming out. He didn't have any so if any of you have any tips or advice that would help me out a lot.

[aleon515]

Cheers to you!!! Very happy to read this!
You can PM me any time.

--Jay

[JayDawg]

Good for you, Ryan! I think you're on the right track. I've spent some time reading the Coming Out forum here to get some ideas for when I'm ready. Have a look over there and see if anything resonates.

It's your life ahead of you, no one else's. You're in charge. Take the lead and run with it

I hope your coming out goes very well!

-Jay

[Dalex]

Go Ryan! Taking that big step take guts I am happy for you. But, as for tips about coming out, I think it really all depends on the individual. I'm planning on telling my grandparents face to face over coffee, and then tell them at the end of it that I am willing to answer any questions they have to my best abilities. But when it came down to telling my dad, I just asked if he could join me for a smoke and while it was just the two of us I told him that I have never in my life felt like a woman. He took it rather well actually. He has been calling me Aidan ever since, now I am just wondering how I can get him to start calling me David xD

I think it is best to think how would be the best way to approach each one you want to come out to in person. My idea to do it over coffee with my grandparents is because they are really old fashioned, especially my grandpa.

I hope things go really well for you

[Constance]

My experience is that the moments of depression can arise from time to time.

That said, I'm glad to hear that you're doing better.

Tips on coming out? That's a tricky thing. I was very clinical and direct when I came out to my family, friends, and coworkers. But, I think the details will vary depending on all parties concerned. Sorry if that's not specific enough, but I've found that I've had to be adaptable in my comings out.

[CursedFireDean]

Good on you man, this is a big step
As for coming out, something I learned today (and am going to make a post about in a few minutes actually) is that it will help if you're very clear that this is something you have been thinking about for a long time. It isn't a new idea, you've known this about yourself for a while. You haven't made this decision lightly, you've thought about the consequences and considered the pros and cons. The biggest issue I'm having with my family right now is that I haven't made it clear enough to them that I didn't make this decision just because I met a transguy, I knew this a long time ago and he just gave me the inspiration and confidence to let my identity shine.

[King Malachite]

Yay!  Go Ryan!    Congrats man!  I'm so happy for you!  I'm glad that you aren't going to hold back for much longer and are going to gt the ball rolling on becoming the man you truly are.

As for coming out, personall my advice to you is expect the worst.  That way, you can only be pleasently surprised.  Also, another thing is to make sure you know what you are going to say.  Be prepared to give rebuttals of any objections or concerns they may have.  The more you prepare, they better of you will be.  Another thing is be confident and sure of yourself when you speak.  If you even give off the vibe of not being confident and not knowing how to answr their questions, chances are th people you are coming out to will think you are wishy washy and that you don't know what you want and that you are just confused, etc. so is VERY important to make sure you know what you are talking about and how to respond.  I would also suggest if you are living with your parents to have a back-up plan in case they kick you out in the worst case scenario.    Hopefully they won't, but it's still good to be thinking of that (or of any finacial concerns, lik if they are paying for your college).

Best of luck with coming out! I have faith in you.

[CursedFireDean]

Also, another thing is to make sure you know what you are going to say.  Be prepared to give rebuttals of any objections or concerns they may have.  The more you prepare, they better of you will be.  Another thing is be confident and sure of yourself when you speak.  If you even give off the vibe of not being confident and not knowing how to answr their questions, chances are th people you are coming out to will think you are wishy washy and that you don't know what you want and that you are just confused, etc. so is VERY important to make sure you know what you are talking about and how to respond.

I cannot emphasize this enough.

[Bombadil]

Way to go for calling the hotline and moving forward. Depression sucks but it's not a life sentence.

My family and I don't speak so I didn't really have to deal with them. I was talking to my closest friend the other day and told her I was legally changing my name. She isn't always the most open minded person, heh, but what surprised me was that when I didn't bother with rebuttals and just said that it was important and right for me, she was fine. Explaining is ok, but you shouldn't have to justify your choice. I'm learning there's a difference between the two.

[Emerson]

Good for you, friend. Takes balls to get help.