A perfect response to getting "sirred"

[Ataraxia]

So, I've been thinking about how to respond when I get "sirred" (I know I'm not full time and am still presenting as male, but I still don't like being called "sir"). So I've thought of a foolproof response to it: call the other person out of their gender as well. For example:

If it's a male:
male ***hole: "Have a good day, sir."
me: "You too ma'am!"

If it's a female:
female ***hole: "Have a good day, sir."
me: "You too, sir!"

Because if you're addressing me as a male, I can safely assume that it's opposite day or something, so why not play along?

However, I believe this can only be effective if you play it cool. Don't make too big a deal out of it, because when people sir you they're just trying to get a rise out of you, so you don't want to give the impression that they've succeeded at such. Just say it casually and dismissively.

[sam79]

You know it's not other people's fault? They're just saying it as they see it. It's not being done to you out of some untoward intent.

It's hard to tell if you're being serious or not.

[Ataraxia]

You know it's not other people's fault? They're just saying it as they see it. It's not being done to you out of some untoward intent.

It's hard to tell if you're being serious or not.

Perhaps in some cases it's an honest mistake, but in many cases it isn't. And even if it is, it's still insulting to call a female a male, so the way I see it doing the same to them puts you both on equal grounds. You saying it to them is no more or less insulting than when they initially did it to you.

If nothing else it just makes me feel better about the whole thing.

[Adam (birkin)]

I don't know if I would have done that before, but I'd definitely do it now...I look very male, so if someone thinks I am "female" they usually assume "FTM" and not actual girl. And if they know about trans people, to call me ma'am while assuming I am FTM is rude.

[Ltl89]

I don't know if I could ever have the inner strength to handle that properly.  I would probably cry if I was intentionally presenting female and got called sir by a stranger.
In any case, I rarely get called sir even in boy mode.  Most of the time I'm called something like buddy or hon depending on the gender of the person I'm interacting with.  The worst is the rare "bro" I get.  Egh.....

To be honest, calling a guy ma'am may backfire.   Rather than teaching them a lesson, it could make people angry and create even more drama that you may wish to avoid.  I remember I started to misgender my sister in response to her doing it to me, and then instead of using pronouns or my name she started to call me ->-bleeped-<- and the transexual.  At the end of the day, instead of teaching her a lesson, it just got her more belligerent (usually the case with her).  So, use this strategy with caution.

[sam79]

I know I'm not full time and am still presenting as male

Are you not asking for the world to see you as a man? Still seems a bit hypocritical to me.

While in my andro stage, I was getting gendered both male and female. What else could I expect?

After going full time, I've not been mis-gendered once.

[Ataraxia]

Are you not asking for the world to see you as a man? Still seems a bit hypocritical to me.

Not by choice. I still haven't gotten to the point where I can be full time, so I'm not intentionally asking the world to see me as male.

[mandonlym]

In the rare times when people have called me sir when I had short hair, I just ignore them if I feel like it or correct them if I feel like doing that. It's that simple. I do it with one word: ma'am. And the usual reply is "I'm sorry."

[FalseHybridPrincess]

Dont blame them ,mistakes happen...

Eveyone has a different idea of what a man and a woman is...

[Joanna Dark]

Are you on HRT or presenting as female? If either, and the HRT is working, then yeah, do it, maybe. But, if not, and you only are female inside and your outside doesn't match, people can't be expected to deduce that. One day, being miss'd or ma'amed will be second nature and this will all be moot. I can't remember the last time someone called me sir without apologizing once they saw my face. But, really, being gendered correctly is awesome, but once you walk by guys and they say "that bitch has a banging body, when she's an older and not in college, she's gonna be the ->-bleeped-<-..." or They just put their arms around you or touch you or do this or that. it starts to get old and degrading. I was shopping today with my BF and he bought me this uber cute hoodie and the guy wouldn't leave me alone and kept telling me what a beautiful woman i am. Creepy. But girls are being super awesome to me and the last couple days I have been checking my hair and each time some woman came up to me and said, sweetie it loks great. You're so lucky you can pull of short hair like that. Most women can't. You're rocking it." So that was awesome. But, that intial feeling, first being miss'd....amazing. You'll get there don't let it get you down. I never thought I would but here I am not even able to pass as male or even trans.

[Allyda]

I use the same strategy if it happens to me. However, I haven't been Sired in so long it's hard to remember when it last happened.

In the rare times when people have called me sir when I had short hair, I just ignore them if I feel like it or correct them if I feel like doing that. It's that simple. I do it with one word: ma'am. And the usual reply is "I'm sorry."

[HoneyBunny]

I would simply say "I am sorry you are mistaken because I am a girl'. If i can sense they are being mean or whatever I will just try my best to ignore them.

[TerriT]

If op isn't presenting female, why the overreaction to being sirred? I called a teacher mam and she insisted on being called spam. It made it ridiculous to call her anything but her name. I found it a lot more disarming.

[big kim]

I've found f*** you to be an appropriate response

[Nisky]

Cant you just scream, trash the store and maybe start a little fire? (kidding )

[Marina mtf]

People usually are not rude, they simply react to what they see...

to make an example I was one day at the market and cheese seller told me:

"would you like to taste our gorgonzola (an Italian cheese) sir?"

I was presenting as andro, with pants, so it was not a big deal..., I did not
correct him, I was not totally en femme.

...

two weeks later I went to the same store in a skirt and the SAME person told me:

"excuse me, ma'am, may you taste our Parmesan?"

Did he remember me? Don't know... in any case please consider that until starting HRT our body is male,
we smell male, we irradiate male pheromones, essentially we cross dress so it is very rare to pass in all occasions.

[suzifrommd]

I'm facing this same problem. This happened twice in the past couple weeks. In each case, the store clerk knew me pre-transition.

If it happens again, I plan to ask, "Did you call me sir?" If the clerk apologizes, or asks how I'd like to be addressed, I will be gracious but assertive about my gender.

If there is any other reaction, I plan to go to store management.

[justpat]

   On April 8th I was having my taxes done and I have been to the same group several times over the years but only once a year.I am clearly full time but a pretty questionable female ,anyway after being sirred several times by one gentleman I said .  Sir, sirs have testicles I have no testicles but do have nice breasts would you like to check ?  End of problem.  Ally you should have been there  another adventure !  Pat

[Paulagirl]

Your first line is you're presenting male. What the hell do you expect? People take their cues from a few subtle indicators. If you are not presenting those indicators, you will get called Sir.
Present female, or live with it!

[Allyda]

   On April 8th I was having my taxes done and I have been to the same group several times over the years but only once a year.I am clearly full time but a pretty questionable female ,anyway after being sirred several times by one gentleman I said .  Sir, sirs have testicles I have no testicles but do have nice breasts would you like to check ?  End of problem.  Ally you should have been there  another adventure !  Pat

Ha ha ha Lol! he, he, he -Oh how I would have loved to have seen that. I bet the look on his face was priceless! Oh I love it! The way you look I don't know how some still sir you anyway. Especially if you had your nails done and were dressed comparable to how you were that day we said our goodbyes. In any case I'd have loved to have been there. Knowing you Pat, I can just picture the look you had on your face when you addressed him, lol! Makes ,me miss y'all and being down there all the more.