Not really sure if this is the same kind of thing or not, but I do definitely relate to not quite fitting into the official trans narrative™.
I didn't know that I was trans as a kid. In fact, if you had asked me about the possibility, I would have laughed. They can say "I always knew that I was a woman," where for me it wasn't until adolescence that I started experiencing dysphoria, and it was mostly bodily rather than social. I didn't really have much interest in being traditionally feminine, I was actually more jealous of the nerdy tomboyish girls who didn't give two cares about makeup or fashion or fitting into society's definition of femininity. And it wasn't really "transition or die" for me, it was more like a continuous lingering melancholy and a lack of self-esteem.
And like you, my life really isn't that much better off. I feel better about myself on a personal level, I'm not constantly at war with myself anymore, and I'm relatively happy, but my life itself has gone to complete and total crap. When I started transition I was employed full-time, in a relationship, and in a position of social privilege. Since starting transition, I've been fired from two jobs due to being trans, and am currently unemployed, scraping the bottom of the barrel for crap jobs despite being a college graduate, still feeling like my potential is going unfulfilled, with my potential for a love life seriously hindered, and now living in a position where I constantly have to worry about the potential for social oppression.
Again, don't know if any of the experiences are mutual, but I definitely feel a bit different from a lot of the trans women at my local support group who are all about dresses and makeup while I'm more about jeans and t-shirts, and my life certainly hasn't been all sunshine and roses since going full-time.
