are there any straight women here?

[Nero]

We are very much alike. I'm not sure about you but finding a 100% straight man was so difficult. They would say anything to meet & date then go "gay" on me. I threw them out the door. For a while a dated married men some. One's that wanted oral sex that their wife would not give to them. I'm not proud of dating a married man but at least the man was like you say 100% a man. It felt good really & some gave me some so nice anal sex. Good luck, girl friends.

To get it more extreme about my 'heterosexuality', sometimes I wouldn't like if a straight guy accepts me so easily knowing I am trans. I like the transphobic and super duper straight guys WHO DO NOT KNOW WHAT I AM and who I know in advance would reject me if they knew I am trans. IT GIVES ME MORE THRILL & EXCITEMENT! Only then I feel like a REAL woman and this feeds my soul so much I swear. 

There are different 'degrees' of straight guys most commonly the liberal ones who wouldnt mind dating and trans and the other traditional strict ones who'd never date a trans no matter how beautiful and passable she is DESPITE operated SRS. It's this type of straight guys I love hitting on. 

<sigh> I really worry for your safety hon. But that's another thread.

[sad panda]

Yeah, even for me. A lot different when I was in high school. Nobody was out as gay or lesbian in my high school except one gay math teacher who constantly got crap for it. Gays were still mostly a joke around there.
I think one guy actually admitted being bi and that was like the shock of the century. But he belonged to the goth crowd, so... he was already wearing black lipstick...

Just depends on the time and place. Probably wouldn'tve changed much for me anyway. I can't imagine dating a girl back then. They were like a different species to me, hot but not very nice. lol
I guess it was just as well that I was a lot more comfortable with guys.

I wonder if the comfort level with birth sex and 'target' sex have anything to do with it. Like for me, I had guy friends, dated guys, etc. Girls just really weren't a part of my life unless they were related. I was just really awkward around them and they were just... not nice. To me, anyway.

I wonder if it was like that in reverse for some of the women here? (of course, this probably doesn't work unless you have some attraction to the sex opposite the one you're assigned.)

Hmmm that wasn't my experience but then I was not bi. I liked men even though as a whole I have always been pretty afraid of them. And it felt really weird when girls would flirt. So yeah, if I had liked them like guys I guess stuff would have happened just bc of closeness.

[FrancisAnn]

To get it more extreme about my 'heterosexuality', sometimes I wouldn't like if a straight guy accepts me so easily knowing I am trans. I like the transphobic and super duper straight guys WHO DO NOT KNOW WHAT I AM and who I know in advance would reject me if they knew I am trans. IT GIVES ME MORE THRILL & EXCITEMENT! Only then I feel like a REAL woman and this feeds my soul so much I swear. 

There are different 'degrees' of straight guys most commonly the liberal ones who wouldnt mind dating and trans and the other traditional strict ones who'd never date a trans no matter how beautiful and passable she is DESPITE operated SRS. It's this type of straight guys I love hitting on. 

You want the perfect man, good for you GF. You deserve only the best. Don't let him break your heart when you fall madly in love with him. I want invited to the wedding as a bridesmate.

[Nero]

Yeah, even for me. A lot different when I was in high school. Nobody was out as gay or lesbian in my high school except one gay math teacher who constantly got crap for it. Gays were still mostly a joke around there.
I think one guy actually admitted being bi and that was like the shock of the century. But he belonged to the goth crowd, so... he was already wearing black lipstick...

Just depends on the time and place. Probably wouldn'tve changed much for me anyway. I can't imagine dating a girl back then. They were like a different species to me, hot but not very nice. lol
I guess it was just as well that I was a lot more comfortable with guys.

I wonder if the comfort level with birth sex and 'target' sex have anything to do with it. Like for me, I had guy friends, dated guys, etc. Girls just really weren't a part of my life unless they were related. I was just really awkward around them and they were just... not nice. To me, anyway.

I wonder if it was like that in reverse for some of the women here? (of course, this probably doesn't work unless you have some attraction to the sex opposite the one you're assigned.)

Hmmm that wasn't my experience but then I was not bi. I liked men even though as a whole I have always been pretty afraid of them. And it felt really weird when girls would flirt. So yeah, if I had liked them like guys I guess stuff would have happened just bc of closeness.

Yeah, I think some people are just wired strictly for one sex. My mother's that way. Lots of people are that way. For people who aren't and especially for trans people with all the gender roles and stuff, it can be a bit more muddied. Like for me, my first crush at 7 was on a girl. When I first had sexual feelings and started to masturbate (sorry, maybe TMI), it was to women. I wasn't attracted to boys until later, and I really think I'd have been pretty much straight as a cis guy. But puberty happened, and boys were an option. It was expected. Though, if I had been strictly into girls, I doubt that would have swayed me.

[Carlita]

Of course I need to add, that when I was a teen homosexuality was illegal where I was. You were sent to gaol, a male gaol

Irony, much??!!

I'm still living as a man, still (just, but not for much longer) married to a woman. Never had anything but female partners. Never wanted to have sex with a man as long as I was a man too.

BUT ... I've never, ever had any kind of sexual fantasy except that of being a woman, making love to a man. For me, straight sex - when I could handle it - was the next best thing, though I always felt jealous of the women I was with, which is hardly very fair on them.

What I should be is a straight woman. Does that count?!

[sad panda]

Hmmm that wasn't my experience but then I was not bi. I liked men even though as a whole I have always been pretty afraid of them. And it felt really weird when girls would flirt. So yeah, if I had liked them like guys I guess stuff would have happened just bc of closeness.


Yeah, I think some people are just wired strictly for one sex. My mother's that way. Lots of people are that way. For people who aren't and especially for trans people with all the gender roles and stuff, it can be a bit more muddied. Like for me, my first crush at 7 was on a girl. When I first had sexual feelings and started to masturbate (sorry, maybe TMI), it was to women. I wasn't attracted to boys until later, and I really think I'd have been pretty much straight as a cis guy. But puberty happened, and boys were an option. It was expected. Though, if I had been strictly into girls, I doubt that would have swayed me.

.

Uh huh I think since I have dealt with all that gender stuff and don't struggle with any homophobia or whatever but still couldnt get into girls, I realized that for me its about role preference... I mean hotness helps but primarily my attraction to people is a lot more complex and I can't get whatever that is out of a girl. I just can't picture myself in any other way, it wouldn't be stimulating, it would feel like dating my sister or something, just really weird and off.

[sad panda]

Irony, much??!!

I'm still living as a man, still (just, but not for much longer) married to a woman. Never had anything but female partners. Never wanted to have sex with a man as long as I was a man too.

BUT ... I've never, ever had any kind of sexual fantasy except that of being a woman, making love to a man. For me, straight sex - when I could handle it - was the next best thing, though I always felt jealous of the women I was with, which is hardly very fair on them.

What I should be is a straight woman. Does that count?!

Maybe since you actually like women, that is projective identification and you are actually fantasizing about what you would like in a girl, availability, and being the girl in that picture gives an element of control. What do you think?

[Nero]

Hmmm that wasn't my experience but then I was not bi. I liked men even though as a whole I have always been pretty afraid of them. And it felt really weird when girls would flirt. So yeah, if I had liked them like guys I guess stuff would have happened just bc of closeness.


Yeah, I think some people are just wired strictly for one sex. My mother's that way. Lots of people are that way. For people who aren't and especially for trans people with all the gender roles and stuff, it can be a bit more muddied. Like for me, my first crush at 7 was on a girl. When I first had sexual feelings and started to masturbate (sorry, maybe TMI), it was to women. I wasn't attracted to boys until later, and I really think I'd have been pretty much straight as a cis guy. But puberty happened, and boys were an option. It was expected. Though, if I had been strictly into girls, I doubt that would have swayed me.

.

Uh huh I think since I have dealt with all that gender stuff and don't struggle with any homophobia or whatever but still couldnt get into girls, I realized that for me its about role preference... I mean hotness helps but primarily my attraction to people is a lot more complex and I can't get whatever that is out of a girl. I just can't picture myself in any other way, it wouldn't be stimulating, it would feel like dating my sister or something, just really weird and off.

Yeah, I think role preferences play a big part, especially for trans people. Like for me, a guy had to be around my height or shorter for me to feel any attraction. And non dominant. A guy showing masculinity or cockiness was only acceptable if smaller than me. The bigger a guy was, the more of a wuss he had to be. For me, anyway. Uh, unless of course he was like 40 and well off.  Then he was allowed to be tall. Still, the relationship and sex had to go down a certain way.

So, in a different way, roles were important to me. Any guy who tried to make me feel like a woman (or just did by virtue of his size or personality), not happening. Though, I didn't care as much if it was a sugar daddy. 

[Heather]

Irony, much??!!

I'm still living as a man, still (just, but not for much longer) married to a woman. Never had anything but female partners. Never wanted to have sex with a man as long as I was a man too.

BUT ... I've never, ever had any kind of sexual fantasy except that of being a woman, making love to a man. For me, straight sex - when I could handle it - was the next best thing, though I always felt jealous of the women I was with, which is hardly very fair on them.

What I should be is a straight woman. Does that count?!

Are you sure you like men or do you like the idea of being a straight woman? Have you ever gone out of your way to talk to a man because you thought he was cute? Have you fallen in love with a man because you see there is something special about him that goes way beyond a physical attraction? A fantasy is just that a fantasy if your really into men it will go way beyond fantasy I promise.

[Nero]

Irony, much??!!

I'm still living as a man, still (just, but not for much longer) married to a woman. Never had anything but female partners. Never wanted to have sex with a man as long as I was a man too.

BUT ... I've never, ever had any kind of sexual fantasy except that of being a woman, making love to a man. For me, straight sex - when I could handle it - was the next best thing, though I always felt jealous of the women I was with, which is hardly very fair on them.

What I should be is a straight woman. Does that count?!

Are you sure you like men or do you like the idea of being a straight woman? Have you ever gone out of your way to talk to a man because you thought he was cute? Have you fallen in love with a man because you see there is something special about him that goes way beyond a physical attraction? A fantasy is just that a fantasy if your really into men it will go way beyond fantasy I promise.

Hmm Not directed to me, but interesting question. I've had crushes, I've been intimate with women, but I have never had serious feelings for a woman (beyond friendship). Could love ever develop? I really don't know. I don't fall easy, and the very few I have have been male. I think that I desire women both on a sexual and a friendship level. On an actual relationship level? I don't know. I really like the idea. But could I ever even get that close to a woman in real life to fall in love with her? I really don't know.

[Alainaluvsu]

I'm into men and only men. I've tried women but was disgusted with it every time.

[Heather]

Are you sure you like men or do you like the idea of being a straight woman? Have you ever gone out of your way to talk to a man because you thought he was cute? Have you fallen in love with a man because you see there is something special about him that goes way beyond a physical attraction? A fantasy is just that a fantasy if your really into men it will go way beyond fantasy I promise.


Hmm Not directed to me, but interesting question. I've had crushes, I've been intimate with women, but I have never had serious feelings for a woman (beyond friendship). Could love ever develop? I really don't know. I don't fall easy, and the very few I have have been male. I think that I desire women both on a sexual and a friendship level. On an actual relationship level? I don't know. I really like the idea. But could I ever even get that close to a woman in real life to fall in love with her? I really don't know.

Whats funny I ask the same thing about women too. I wonder do I just think about dating women because most men scare me? I'm attracted to men no doubt but a lot of them frighten me. Maybe I've been looking to a relationship with women lately because I have this fear of men?

[Nero]

Are you sure you like men or do you like the idea of being a straight woman? Have you ever gone out of your way to talk to a man because you thought he was cute? Have you fallen in love with a man because you see there is something special about him that goes way beyond a physical attraction? A fantasy is just that a fantasy if your really into men it will go way beyond fantasy I promise.


Hmm Not directed to me, but interesting question. I've had crushes, I've been intimate with women, but I have never had serious feelings for a woman (beyond friendship). Could love ever develop? I really don't know. I don't fall easy, and the very few I have have been male. I think that I desire women both on a sexual and a friendship level. On an actual relationship level? I don't know. I really like the idea. But could I ever even get that close to a woman in real life to fall in love with her? I really don't know.

Whats funny I ask the same thing about women too. I wonder do I just think about dating women because most men scare me? I'm attracted to men no doubt but a lot of them frighten me. Maybe I've been looking to a relationship with women lately because I have this fear of men?

Hmm Well, have you ever had serious feelings for a woman? Were you ever married to a woman (I ask, because that indicates some level of seriousness even if the match wasn't great)?

[Heather]

Whats funny I ask the same thing about women too. I wonder do I just think about dating women because most men scare me? I'm attracted to men no doubt but a lot of them frighten me. Maybe I've been looking to a relationship with women lately because I have this fear of men?


Hmm Well, have you ever had serious feelings for a woman? Were you ever married to a woman (I ask, because that indicates some level of seriousness even if the match wasn't great)?

Well there was one girl when I was a kid I really liked. But I was too girlie for her taste. And I've never been married before. And I must also say I have had a crush on a trans woman I know so I can be into women it doesn't happen often but I can.

[Ltl89]

I've always found the only attracted to men as a woman thing tad confusing.  I want the social roles of a female in a relationship and all, so I get that, but I've always been attracted to men regardless.  Like even if I'm not interested in being a "boy friend" and want a certain romantic role, I still like what I like.  That doesn't change.  In a way, I wish my sexuality were more fluid like that because I feel things will be hard with men and probably would be easier with females.  As for girls, I think there are many beautiful women out there that I respect and/or admire, but I'm not attracted either physically or romantically.  To be honest, the idea of dating a girl makes me feel really uncomfortable and awkward.  It just feels wrong.  And I'm a very big supportive of the LGB part of our community, it's just not for me.

Aww, thank you FA.   Maybe I worry too much, but it's just being trans makes things hard at times.  All girls have to live up to these beauty standards, and for mtfs it gets even more crippling because we are almost expected to pass really well and be beautiful despite the roadblocks.  This is especially true with straight girls that get even more pressure, at least that's how I see it.  Like we have so much more to prove and sadly much of that is done through our looks or it has the expectation to go that way.   I wish it were a little easier and I wouldn't have to constantly worry about how I look.  But thank you.  What you said really did cheer me up and made my day.


Well, if I made you feel a little better, that makes my day too. And straight girls (and to a certain extent, gay men) do get more looks pressure. Not that women don't appreciate or want a good looking partner, but not quite as much as men generally. However, I think the thing a man most wants and needs from a woman is comfort. Often this comes in the form of sex, but also so much more. A woman who knows how to comfort a man and build him up - he will love her. Not only am I a man, I have been with lots of men. I have both been this for men and desired it myself as one. This was Delilah's secret (and yeah, she was probably hot. But she didn't have to be). (And maybe Cleopatra's. After all, she really wasn't a great beauty unlike this clip). A man will love a woman who lifts him up and makes him feel good about himself above one more 'hot' who doesn't do this as well.

Oh, I know there is more than looks.  It's just usually the thing that straight men measure a transwoman with before he would consider dating one.  Sucks it's like that, but I've noticed that's common.   In any case,  I don't have much going in the other departments either, lol.  I'm sort of an emotional wreck and can be clingy which last I checked those are not the most attractive qualities.  Still, like most things in my life, I'm probably just being overly cynical. I'm not giving up hope and am excited about one day dating even though I'm scared of rejection, safety issues and dealing with potential perves and ->-bleeped-<-s.  I still don't have the direct experience, so I will have to see when I get the nerve to enter the dating world and hold off judgement unitl then.

God I can't wait to stop being so scared and to finally open myself up to dating.  Though I should wait till I got full time, since it kind of complicates things. 

[Nero]

Whats funny I ask the same thing about women too. I wonder do I just think about dating women because most men scare me? I'm attracted to men no doubt but a lot of them frighten me. Maybe I've been looking to a relationship with women lately because I have this fear of men?


Hmm Well, have you ever had serious feelings for a woman? Were you ever married to a woman (I ask, because that indicates some level of seriousness even if the match wasn't great)?

Well there was one girl when I was a kid I really liked. But I was too girlie for her taste. And I've never been married before. And I must also say I have had a crush on a trans woman I know so I can be into women it doesn't happen often but I can.

Yeah, this sexuality thing is kinda weird. Especially for a trans person.

[meganB]

My sexuality has always been unclear for me. I like this girl when I was 12 ish, but it didn't work out. When I was 13 (arround the same time I knew that I was girl). I had this crush on my best friend, but as I coudn't see myself as a boy with him so I denied all my feelings. The boys in my high school were ugly so I really had no attraction at all to one. There was this one girl who I did like, but she wanted a more manly man. At college I had this crush on this masculine girl, but same there, not manly enough.

When I finaly came to terms with being trans* I figured out that I really like men and basically always did. Then about 1 month ago I started to think "why did I like girls?". Woman/girls are much more beautifuller (averidged) and I love looking at them more then men, but I find men more attractive both in how they act and just their being. .

I think I might be straight (as I feel more attracted to men), but I as I can also like women (and did so in the past).
So i'm not sure if I'm straight or bi. So straight is the safest bet for me, as I don't know 100% sure if I like women, but because I do know that I like men I can atleast say I'm straight.

[Jill F]

Yeah, this sexuality thing is kinda weird. Especially for a trans person.

I don't get hung up on labels anymore.  I tried so hard to make the "I'm a straight cisguy." label stick for so long that I almost actually believed it.  I'd see attractive guys all the time, and I thought it was OK to recognize that much, but that's where I drew the line.  I know many gay guys, and I always knew that wasn't right for me.  I never wanted anal, top or bottom and I've never given a BJ.  In fact, I never was really into getting one either.  I will admit to drunkenly kissing a couple of my straight cisguy friends in college.  Sadly, both of them died shortly thereafter in separate accidents and I have never kissed another guy since because I thought I might actually be cursed or something.

After finally coming to the conclusion that I am actually a woman, I have allowed myself to fully process the whole sexuality angle.  The fact is that if I was actually packing a vajayjay, I would want it penetrated hard and often.  A cisguy would certainly work for me, as would a transguy.   I could probably get myself to give oral as well if I thought he really wanted it and would appreciate it.   Hell, I could probably make it work with another transchick, although right now I'm sort of asexual or umm, autosexual because PIV sex "got weird".  I don't want to penetrate anyone anywhere anyway. 

I still think ciswomen are awesome though, and I still am very much attracted to my wife.  I actually always enjoyed going down on her and feel the happy warm fuzzies when I ring her bell.  My wife is actually, now that I think of it, quite androgynous.   She is beautiful in a conventional sense (sort of looks like Kathleen Turner), but she is large, carries herself like a dude and probably has a bit more T in her system than most cisgirls do.  What can I say, I think androgyny is sexy as hell.  Also, the guys I tend to find attractive are not super dudely macho dudes (that can be a turn off).  I think Jared Leto and Dave Navarro are HOT, as are some other rocker guys.  I've looked both Jared and Dave in the eyes in person, and I melted a bit inside each time.  Daaamn, what is it about guyliner?  My wife was right.

So I guess I'm really an "anything goes" kinda girl.  I know I probably sound like a broken record by now, but once you're trans, you're already beyond queer anyway.  Who cares about labels anymore?  If I like someone for whatever reason, I don't worry about whether that's "OK" or not.  I just smile.

[peky]

I love humans with certain characteristics: hygienically correct, sense of humor, sophisticated, educated, respectful, adaptable, resilient, honest, sensual, tolerant, bon vivant, dancers, dreamers, creators, driven, ,,,

Tall, blue eyes, and blond, with soft skin, and athletic is a plus....

chronological age, gender identity, sexual orientation... not important at all

[GorJess]

Just your average, run-of-the-mill 21 year old heterosexual girl here. Never had any relationships prior to transition, won't until after SRS, it's just not comfortable for me, as-is. Why? Well, I am female, and female does not equate to male in a relationship. Simple!