thinking about the future

[lalitrus]

So, my love and I just went through a pregnancy scare, and it has me thinking about the future. I'm luckiky not pregnant now as neither of us is ready for that, but I do want to be a mother. When I met my love, I knew he would make a terrific father, and we've talked about that potential future a lot. Now that she came out to me, I want us to be mothers together. But I'm experiencing a health issue which could, hopefully won't, but could mean loss of fertility on my end, HRT and transition for my love means we wouldn't concieve the traditional way anyway. I've always liked the idea of adoption, but now.... I'm confused. I still want to be a mother, and I never thought giving birth was superior or better than adoption. But now that I'm facing the possibility of not being able to give birth to the child of my love it hurts. I don't know what I want.

[Ltl89]

If natural conception is important to you and you want to continue trying for it, then you could always have your partner store her biological material.  I mean it's something relatively easy to do (though I think it's expensive) and that way you could always try in the future.

As for not having the ability to have kids naturally, I'm sorry if health reasons get in the way.  I really hope you will be able to do so, but I know how hard that is as motherhood is something I wish I could have experienced.   However, please know that even if you have to adpot, you can still have the child of your love.  Still I understand why you feel this way and I hope it will work out in the end. 

[laur]

My partner who is transitioning from MtF have always talked about having a family together. When they told me that they felt more female then male it scared me that having kids would never happen. After the lose of our intimacy the thought of children kind of disappeared. Ok let me get to the point. My partner went to the doctors before starting hormones and we found out they would most likely not be able to have kids the natural way regardless if the hormones were taken or not. My heart broke. The point of my story is that my partner did store sperm so if we stay together and decide that in the future we would like kids we could try that way. I'm scared about the price and me having health issues I'm scared of complication but if you wanna have kids together you gotta do it that way. That's the point of my rant. You can always store sperm and try and if you can't have kids of your own, adopted kids are still your kids. You will raise them and love them. I'm sure they will have two great mommys!

[lalitrus]

I've got a doctor's appointment for the health issue on thursday and I know I should try to relax, but I'm super stressed out about it. I keep obsessing over the possibility of losing fertility. Even if Alyssa freezes sperm before HRT, there may be no womb to put it in. I keep feeling guilty for no reason, I just feel like I somehow did something wrong to deserve this but I didn't. I feel like I'll be less of a woman without the ability to bear children, then feel bad for thinking that considering I'm in love with a transwoman, but equating feminity with childbearing. Even if I wasn't with a transwoman, that's still a horrible way to think, but that's how it feels right now. Thus whole situation has me feeling confused and scared and guilty.