i feel cold, numb and dead

[Jess42]

It may seen like a lot right now, but I lived with Dysphoria for 40 years and it literally almost killed me. Transition now and there will be no regrets later if transition is what you want. There is never going to be a perfect time. Something will always come up.

My God Jessica. Can you read my mind? Do I really need to start wearing a tin foil hat 'cause you described my crazy messed up life to a T.

Umiko, definately listen to her. She is freaky scary right.

[Umiko]

My God Jessica. Can you read my mind? Do I really need to start wearing a tin foil hat 'cause you described my crazy messed up life to a T.

Umiko, definately listen to her. She is freaky scary right.

i know, thats why she's my big sister but i'm just ranting and letting everything out so i apologize if i sound like a broken record

[Jess42]

i know, thats why she's my big sister but i'm just ranting and letting everything out so i apologize if i sound like a broken record

Don't worry about it hon, broken records are cool if they skip at just the right moment. No apologies needed we need to let things out sometimes and this place is better than clinical therapy because there is way more experience here with what we go through than 12 years of med school or a degree in psychology.

[Jessica Merriman]

i know, thats why she's my big sister but i'm just ranting and letting everything out so i apologize if i sound like a broken record

That's what we are here for sis! I had more trouble in my life by keeping things locked inside me. Emotions, feelings and thoughts. For gosh sake quit apologizing already! As a Moderator I am making a new rule here, no more apologies from Umiko! You keep telling us what is bothering you and we will do what we can to help, OK?

Jess-What makes you think I CAN"T read your mind? Acting blonde may be my best weapon!

[Jess42]

That's what we are here for sis! I had more trouble in my life by keeping things locked inside me. Emotions, feelings and thoughts. For gosh sake quit apologizing already! As a Moderator I am making a new rule here, no more apologies from Umiko! You keep telling us what is bothering you and we will do what we can to help, OK?

Jess-What makes you think I CAN"T read your mind? Acting blonde may be my best weapon!

Oh crap I'm going for the tinfoil right now. Contrary to popular beliefs, blondes ain't dumb. The reason the one got fired from the M and M factory because she threw all the M and Ms away that had Ws on them is 'cause she got rich selling them in trailmix. I love being blonde even though it is a dirty blonde on more than one level.

[Jessica Merriman]

Oh crap I'm going for the tinfoil right now.

I knew that!

[Jess42]

I knew that!

That's it, I am heading for the underground bunker. I's scared of moderators, especially on a global level.

[Jessica Merriman]

That's it, I am heading for the underground bunker.

I know where it is! By the way, you are short on toilet paper!

[Jess42]

I know where it is! By the way, you are short on toilet paper!

I am too much of a lady to poop, although very dirty minded but only privately though, but I fart roses hon. That is why the old bathroom debate doesn't bother me, I don't need 'em. I just advocate for the ones that want to use the proper restroom. God I am so ten foot tall and bulletproof sometimes but I guess to quote the great Cyndi Lauper, "Girls Just Wanna' Have Fun".

Sorry for hijacking your thread Umiko.

[Jessica Merriman]

Sorry for hijacking your thread Umiko.

Same here Sis! I do hope we helped you today. Contact me anytime you need to sweetie!

[Umiko]

booo, your being a mean jessie-oniichan xD. i guess i shouldnt becuz be so scared. i was out this week and i felt a sense of enjoyment and security  not something i felt before and yesterday i went to the mall with my sister, i wasnt bored at all but i was enjoying myself before my phone died (i nearly cried) and the good part was i was in girl mode and my sister didnt either noticed or didnt really mind which made me feel even better and no problem. i'm happy thats all that matters

[Jessica Merriman]

i'm happy thats all that matters

That is great news Sister!

[Umiko]

but i'm still considered 

[Jessica Merriman]

but i'm still considered 

That is OK Sis. Just come to us with anything bothering you in the future.

[Umiko]

than tell me why i started spotting 

[Jessica Merriman]

Sent you a PM instead of the public forum.

[Jess42]

booo, your being a mean jessie-oniichan xD. i guess i shouldnt becuz be so scared. i was out this week and i felt a sense of enjoyment and security  not something i felt before and yesterday i went to the mall with my sister, i wasnt bored at all but i was enjoying myself before my phone died (i nearly cried) and the good part was i was in girl mode and my sister didnt either noticed or didnt really mind which made me feel even better and no problem. i'm happy thats all that matters

That is definately a good thing. Enjoyment and security being out. It is nice, huh?

Why cry when your phone died? You know how many times I have wanted to throw mine against the wall and then stomp it into tiny little pieces. But I am from a different era though.

[Umiko]

That is definately a good thing. Enjoyment and security being out. It is nice, huh?

Why cry when your phone died? You know how many times I have wanted to throw mine against the wall and then stomp it into tiny little pieces. But I am from a different era though.

haha! we girls in this era cant live without our phones. my phone is on me 24/7 and if i have it in my hand, i start getting highly anxious and irritable until i realize its in my pocket xD and yes, it was nice. better than being stealth

[HoneyStrums]

haha! we girls in this era cant live without our phones. my phone is on me 24/7 and if i have it in my hand, i start getting highly anxious and irritable until i realize its in my pocket xD and yes, it was nice. better than being stealth

Did you get a lot of offers to help with make up. and shopping?

And people saying no wonder your like this and like that. And apologies for acusations of being gay and stuff?

I Did.  Never been so happy to be me at that point.

[Umiko]

oh i always did something correct becuz when i was at old navy, i must of set off this gay sale's associate gaydar becuz he can straddling over to me and my sister and i swore he tried flirting a bit. i maintained girl mode though and just shifted off with i could swore was a tilt in my walk. i was fun and i even got to try on jewelry! i was completely floored xD