So, yesterday I got my high school class ring, and I had completely forgotten that I had had "Sam" put on the side with the drafting tools, and had had "Samantha [insert my last name here]" engraved inside. This was when I was still stealth (not that my parents would've allowed me to put my chosen name on there anyway, but that's another story), so I had naturally ordered those to be put on there. Now, I have a constant reminder of the misuse of pronouns and name that I face every day on my ring finger.
Has anyone else slipped into a darker place when they hear the wrong pronouns or name being used to refer to them, be it anger or sadness, or something else entirely?
For me, when people call me Sam or Samantha, I just get this painful, sickening kind of anger inside and I want to correct them so badly, but that's how they know me, and they don't know any better (most of them, anyway). Especially when my parents do it. "Daughter", "Samantha", "she", "her", etc. When it's my friends who are slipping up on accident, I'll just give them this look until they realize their mistake, or sometimes just say "Uh, he."
But, it's not just the anger I feel, it's the feeling of not being a physical reflection of what I feel inside I am, and all these things are reminders of that, and the dysphoria grabs this open door and swings it wide open.
