Has the T-word been used against you? (trigger warning)

[BunnyBee]

I have not been called any of these words, I'm sure I will though, it's just a matter of time .  Those words really hurt though, even when I see/hear them being used against other people.  The ->-bleeped-<- and the trap ones in particular really sting.  Trap is the worst because of the underlying meaning–that we are "fake" women and loathsome and to even touch our skin is reviling.

->-bleeped-<- is more of a straight-up insult, which belies the insecurity of the person saying it more than anything.  But still it is very hurtful, and Ru Paul can kiss my ass.  Maybe don't speak for a marginalized group you don't belong to, eh?

[big kim]

Loads of times,sometimes I ignore it,other times I think you know my reply that starts with F!

[Jess42]

Probably because you're informed and more open minded than, say, 75% of society... and thats me being generous.

and i'd say delusions of grandeur are better than delusions of inferiority

Oh Emily, do you know how many times I have had to pick up some of my greymatter oof of the side walk, "cause I am so open minded my brain falls out. And oh, yeah 75% is pretty fairly over generous depending on the area of course. But the times, they are a' changin' though.

I won't even go into the second part when someone says' "Oh God." because my answer may even be deemed sacreligious. But hey, all in fun and the surprise factor, Huh?

[HoneyStrums]

After comming out, my dad said to me he could rememder when a ->-bleeped-<- was a radio.

I have been called ->-bleeped-<- before, being reffered to as a MAN in drag. But at the time all i was bothered about was if i was being followed by the callers.

But then again iv been called so many thing throughout my life, that my concern is often not what im called but what those calling me might do next.

wear my dads concerned i point out the differences between trans, vestite, gender and sexual. 

With other people i realy do adoped a whats the point mentality about it. Simply because of an unfortunate truth, the kind of person to call my ->-bleeped-<- and beat me, would only call me four eyes and beat me if a wasnt trans. or just beat me for anything portrayed outside the illution of normal.

fatty
geek
nerd
specky
spotty
->-bleeped-<-
homo
(incert racial difference here)
heck ive even been called whore for not crossing the road and talking to a grrop of drunk men at night. (definately not dressed like a prostitute)

So am i bothered im called ->-bleeped-<-? NO. but i am bothered that there are people that will be verbably and in a large percent physical abusive to people, just for being different.

[Ltl89]

I'd like to add that intent is what matters most for me.  If someone here said the word, as we are, it doesn't bother me so much.  If someone says it to mock or hurts someone, as it's happened to me, then I feel a different way.  I guess the moral is just strive to be a good person and avoid trying to purposefully hurt someone else, at least that's my view. 

As for Rupaul, I'm not against him doing his thing, but I wish he didn't try to speak for our entire community.  Sure, he can be included in the broader transgender umbrella but he isn't a transsexual and should consider how we may feel about these things.  Personally, I don't care what he says, but some do and maybe he should be a little sensitive to it, just like how people seem to be with other insulting words directed at marginalized groups. 

[Alainaluvsu]

I'd like to add that intent is what matters most for me.  If someone here said the word, as we are, it doesn't bother me so much.  If someone says it to mock or hurts someone, as it's happened to me, then I feel a different way.  I guess the moral is just strive to be a good person and avoid trying to purposefully hurt someone else, at least that's my view. 

As for Rupaul, I'm not against him doing his thing, but I wish he didn't try to speak for our entire community.  Sure, he can be included in the broader transgender umbrella but he isn't a transsexual and should consider how we may feel about these things.  Personally, I don't care what he says, but some do and maybe he should be a little sensitive to it, just like how people seem to be with other insulting words directed at marginalized groups.

Yes. All of it. I completely agree with everything. From intent to Rupaul not speaking for an entire community.

[Jess42]

I'd like to add that intent is what matters most for me.  If someone here said the word, as we are, it doesn't bother me so much.  If someone says it to mock or hurts someone, as it's happened to me, then I feel a different way.  I guess the moral is just strive to be a good person and avoid trying to purposefully hurt someone else, at least that's my view. 

As for Rupaul, I'm not against him doing his thing, but I wish he didn't try to speak for our entire community.  Sure, he can be included in the broader transgender umbrella but he isn't a transsexual and should consider how we may feel about these things.  Personally, I don't care what he says, but some do and maybe he should be a little sensitive to it, just like how people seem to be with other insulting words directed at marginalized groups.

Yeah, me too. He is famous, makes money off of being a drag queen? Maybe. And yeah RuPaul may actually be under the umbrella but is Ru Paul truly trans or is it just a money making thing? He seems not to be really sensitive enough to us to truly be one of us but I ain't gonnna' judge though. But a male with femal features can make a lot of money in the entertainment industry trans or cis... Just sayin'

[Alainaluvsu]

Yeah, me too. He is famous, makes money off of being a drag queen? Maybe. And yeah RuPaul may actually be under the umbrella but is Ru Paul truly trans or is it just a money making thing? He seems not to be really sensitive enough to us to truly be one of us but I ain't gonnna' judge though. But a male with femal features can make a lot of money in the entertainment industry trans or cis... Just sayin'

Rupaul seems to think he has the pass to say ->-bleeped-<- because the history that drag queens have of standing up for LGBT rights. Personally I'd let him call me ->-bleeped-<- on the streets, but I wish he'd refrain from making it seem okay that the word is usable to refer to all transsexuals by everybody.

[BunnyBee]

Exactly.

And yeah intent is everything, but if you are going to be using that word and you don't belong to that group, you probably want to tread very carefully, know for sure it is okay to use in context, and realize that it will be used against you out of context, for sure, just like with all racial or sexual orientaion slurs.  Or do the simple thing and don't say it.

And if you don't belong to a marginalized group, and Ru Paul does not because he said specifically the "transsexual community" was this and that, which he certainly is not TS, then don't speak for them.  Not your place, sorry.

And if he think logo is going to be ok with him using slurs on their channel, yeah probably not.

[stephaniec]

about twenty years ago I was walking down a street , I had on a nice dress and being that it was winter Ihad on a coat . The coat was a mans coat because at the time I didn't have many female clothes . So , I'm walking down a main street and this guy is coming towards me  and yells out transvestite. I'm still not sure whether it was because of the coat or dress.

[Jess42]

about twenty years ago I was walking down a street , I had on a nice dress and being that it was winter Ihad on a coat . The coat was a mans coat because at the time I didn't have many female clothes . So , I'm walking down a main street and this guy is coming towards me  and yells out transvestite. I'm still not sure whether it was because of the coat or dress.

Even though I can't ever or seemingly ever keep my mouth shut, it is ashame that some people, when they open thier mouth, always have to try to hurt other's feelings. Hell, summetime's here and I would love to have the freedom, without ridicule, to walk down the street in a sundress wearing a ZZ Top beard with nothing but compliments about my legs. But we all know that ain't gonna happen. Even with cheap sunglasses.

Really though Stephanie, it shouldn't matter. I could make fun of people all day long that I see during day to day life or I could say something that make them feel good about themselves. I usually try to say things that make them feel positive.

[Ducks]

Exactly.

And yeah intent is everything, but if you are going to be using that word and you don't belong to that group, you probably want to tread very carefully, know for sure it is okay to use in context, and realize that it will be used against you out of context, for sure, just like with all racial or sexual orientaion slurs.  Or do the simple thing and don't say it.

And if you don't belong to a marginalized group, and Ru Paul does not because he said specifically the "transsexual community" was this and that, which he certainly is not TS, then don't speak for them.  Not your place, sorry.

And if he think logo is going to be ok with him using slurs on their channel, yeah probably not.

This came out on twitter recently "I've been a "->-bleeped-<-" for 32 years. The word "->-bleeped-<-" has never just meant transsexual."

I think our umbrella is so big we get confused ourselves!

[BunnyBee]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/22/rupaul-responds-->-bleeped-<-_n_5374897.html

This is what he said.  He was absolutely speaking for the "transsexual community" (which is a myth in itself, but that is another story) and says so directly.

[Jess42]

This came out on twitter recently "I've been a "->-bleeped-<-" for 32 years. The word "->-bleeped-<-" has never just meant transsexual."

I think our umbrella is so big we get confused ourselves!

Yeah, but I still think that if Ru Paul was truly transgender that Ru Paul would know that most of us find the word "->-bleeped-<-" offensive.

Is Ru Paul out here on susans by the way? Maybe we can get an explainatiuon why tha word is used on the show?

[BunnyBee]

He is a gay man that plays with gender for money and maybe a little fun, but mostly money.  It's his career.  If that type of person is transgender, then maybe the whole world is transgender?

[Jenna Marie]

Yes. I write a newspaper column; in the olden days, I got respect when I was writing under a male name. After I transitioned, it was pretty much a guarantee that at least one comment (the column also appears on the paper's web site) would use that word.

now that it's been a few years, granted, I mostly get "liberal bitch."

[Goldfish]

Yeah, but I still think that if Ru Paul was truly transgender that Ru Paul would know that most of us find the word "->-bleeped-<-" offensive.

Not what you meant, but you make it sound like we have some sort of hive mind.

Personally I haven't been called it, but I don't go out much atm and don't really have any 'female' clothes atm. So little provocation.

Though some people I associate with have taken to using 'trap' more frequently to refer to particular female characters in a game they play who look somewhat masculine. Don't seem to realise that they are mirroring how some people will see me. If they did, they would probably use 'it's a joke' or 'grow some balls' as a response. The second one for the humour value, which I would actually find funny.

For now, I find 'trap' worse because of the meaning of the word and what is being implied. '->-bleeped-<-', while the intent is unpleasant, isn't so bad. It's kind of pointing out the obvious to me, I already know I'm trans. The associated 'fake woman' or 'transvestite' connotations wouldn't bother me much. Not much more than someone telling me that I'm stupid for thinking that 2*2 = 4, I know that I'm correct and they are wrong. Hence, I should be able to dismiss them. Maybe my view will change when experiencing it first hand though.

[Jess42]

Not what you meant, but you make it sound like we have some sort of hive mind.

Personally I haven't been called it, but I don't go out much atm and don't really have any 'female' clothes atm. So little provocation.

Though some people I associate with have taken to using 'trap' more frequently to refer to particular female characters in a game they play who look somewhat masculine. Don't seem to realise that they are mirroring how some people will see me. If they did, they would probably use 'it's a joke' or 'grow some balls' as a response. The second one for the humour value, which I would actually find funny.

For now, I find 'trap' worse because of the meaning of the word and what is being implied. '->-bleeped-<-', while the intent is unpleasant, isn't so bad. It's kind of pointing out the obvious to me, I already know I'm trans. The associated 'fake woman' or 'transvestite' connotations wouldn't bother me much. Not much more than someone telling me that I'm stupid for thinking that 2*2 = 4, I know that I'm correct and they are wrong. Hence, I should be able to dismiss them. Maybe my view will change when experiencing it first hand though.

Most is the key word. I don't find it personally offensive, but some of the other things I have been called "->-bleeped-<-" is the least bad. How about the word "redneck"? I have been called that too just because of an accent.  I personaly believe that any word can be insulting in the right context.

[HoneyStrums]

How can I say this without offending anyone.

I Listened to the dialog all the way to the end.
(in no way am i trying to justyfi being hurtfull or marginalise being hurt) but..

Its somthing that was said that made me think. (the loose loose situation)

Do we not, as people in general come to an understanding that we cant please everyone? is this not a loss? knowing that no matter what we say or do, and how much try to please as many people as possible, there will always be those we un intentionaly offend and or hurt.

But that loose loose situation seems to imply that this works both ways. that their will always be people that hurt and offend us?  even IF un intended.

This person pointed out that they can say otherwise hurtfull things to people and because they know them, its not offensive.

Ive seen people here too say that if someone here used the t word they wouldnt feel insulted because they would knew it wasnt ment as an insult.

I Think as people we will unfortunatly always offend some people, and some people will just as unfortunatelly offend us? (the loose loose situation)?

[defective snowflake]

My oldest brother referred to me using the t word once. I quickly told him that if he continued to do so, it would be the last time I would ever be around him, to my knowledge, he has not used it again.  I've been called that a lot online, mostly myspace forums and a facebook page for some people from there. I cut off all contact with the whole group of them.  I just really hate the sound of that word when it refers to a person.  I hear it a lot in relation to transmissions and that's fine, it doesn't bother me then. I'm not fond of t-girl either.