"Again, apologies if anything I say seems insensitive, especially since I only just learned about non-binary identifications. But to me it sounds alarming. However, I don't think it's right for you say I'm attacking non-binary therapy when I'm only voicing thoughts and opinions, a right that if you expect others to afford to you, you should afford to others."teeg
Teeg
Thank you for your apology and I certainly appreciate it. I also appreciate the support and in some cases shared experiences and perspectives of satin joy, FA, Emily, Colleen, Flan, Stephanie and Colleen. If I appear to have been overly sensitive perhaps my narrative may help both myself and other non binaries and the hurt we may have felt from your post.
For many, many years I felt broken and displaced, perhaps just someone with a fetish (cross dressing and a sense or dream that I should have been female). The first breakthrough was when I was diagnosed tg and commenced hrt. Then for the first time I felt right, present and emotionally authentic. Apart from deliberately androgyne ffs and hair removal I found that the need to completely turn away from what folk termed or saw as masculine behaviours or masculine attributes because of their discomfort (not mine), caused me dissonance and was a source of inauthenticity. This accelerated as hrt and physical change increased.
My endo saw my confusion and my discomfort. If I clearly needed hrt for emotional comfort and authenticity but didn't want or seek another binary outcome he suggested a simple action. Return to lower dose hrt and work with him to safely test the benefit or negatives arising from varying dosages. I was assured that this was standard therapy not just with hrt but with most medications as ymmv. Needless to say I did my own research and consulted with others on its efficacy and safety. Along the way I learned that hrt therapy was commonly used in treating menopause, prostate cancer, PCOS etc etc and in each case dosage was determined with the patient depending upon its net physical and psychological benefit.
At this point I had found a therapy which really helped. After a bilateral breast reduction which I could have avoided if I hadn't started on a transition regimen, I have felt happy, fully present, authentic and validated. The only residual discomfort was my admittedly irrational, but to me quite real, need to find an appropriate taxonomy or descriptor and explanation as to why I was so weird, indeed queer! Just why I needed to find and own a label wasn't clear but nevertheless I needed one.
Following this my education on gender, brain science, sociology commenced. Through conversation with many on Susans, many leaders in endocrinology, feminist writers, gender theorists and myself I have concluded that I am non binary - not in a reproductive sense, but in every other way. I need to experience and give voice to the broadest range of human qualities that I can find and learn to express, I need to present in a manner consistent with, or at least not detracting from or inconsistent with this. This is simply a social requirement or safety requirement, as presenting in one binary (and here males don't have much flexibility or scope) and displaying nuanced behavior, expression, emotion, thought process or leadership quality commonly associated with the opposite binary is often not a smart thing to do. My experience is that this level of 'queer ness' often results in hostility, discrimination and ridicule. This is rarely the case when one is more clearly androgynous or gender fluid in presentation.
Teeg, like Ativan, Bornstein, Mandonlym etc and many, many others I identify and find my most powerful expression as non binary. This has been a hard, difficult and enormously confusing and challenging journey taken over many, many years. At each point - from my days as an infant through to married partner with grown children I have struggled to understand and to identify myself. Now that I have found myself I consider myself to have been truly blessed. I am non binary and very, very proud of it - apart from this I really dont mind if I am sub labelled as gender queer, gender fluid, androgynous, neutrois etc. Low dose hrt has proved to be a powerful, appropriate and extremely effective therapy.
Teeg I hope that the above can in some way explain my negative response to your post. Very early on in my life I learned that to comment critically on another's experience is problematic - not just because of apparent disrespect but because until you have walked in their shoes on the same path in the same direction in identical circumstance etc you can't possibly understand or empathise. Your quick reaction to to the possibility that hrt can legitimately and safely be used to great benefit reminded me of when I first saw my mother dealing with severe depression and treatment with what appeared outlandish therapy - ECT. Knowing that shock therapy was being used to induce convulsions to replicate convulsions in epileptics just because epileptics had never been seen to suffer from depression seemed ridiculous and indeed barbaric to me. But over time I saw that with varying shocks, length of treatment etc that some folk did indeed benefit, others needed other therapy. This I think is what is going on with the use of low dose hrt. Hormones are incredibly important chemicals which drive us physically and emotionally, they seem to re map the brain, they certainly control many physical characteristics etc. we have now learned that used responsibly that they can be used with enormous benefit in treating a wide range of gender dysphoric folk.
My hope is that more therapists and more fellow travellers learn of, gain access to and benefit from this responsible, safe and powerful therapy.
Safe travels
Aisla
