What causes your disphoria to spike?

[singlefemalelawyer]

This!!

In all honesty, I think my minor dysphoria spikes (which are nothing more than an inconvenience) are caused when I haven't expressed my feminine side in too long.

I have also kick in by passing someone on the street, reading forums like this or even talking to my wife.

[Silver Centurion]

Trying to socialize with women.
Being in a group of women.
Being dragged along to shop for womens clothing/having to wear the clothing.
Being cursed by genetics (enormous hips/thighs)

[Carrie Liz]

Cis-women in general... mainly their skin, their faces, their small bone structure, and the fact that they can go through life never having to question the fact that they're women.

That's what's really been getting me recently, is anyone who can take their femaleness for granted, and not have to constantly have their first concern every day be whether they're "passing" or not. Where a bad skin/hair day is just a bad skin/hair day, and a bad outfit is just a bad outfit, and neither is a threat to whether they look female at all or not.

[makipu]

Just seeing my shadow is enough to spike my wrath towards the female body.

[helen2010]

Dialling back my hrt.  Always checking to see if I no longer need it.  Hope springs eternal!  But dysphoria is the 'presence in the shadows' so E and spiro will remain an essential part of my life

[autumnwind44]

I want to transition but these are the things that foil me mentally.

1. Fearing that I may never be able to transition successfully.
2. Not being able to shave cripples me...   Ingrown hairs (my dad was from jamaica...) I have hair all over other than alot of my back.
3. My "20 foot wide" shoulders lol
4. Being around 190lbs of muscle despite not using anything other than my legs... -_-    Nice gift to a man but I am not a man.

If anyone knows how I can deal within grown hairs or has any tips please do tell me, I exfoliate alot but still do get them.

[autumnwind44]

And women all glammed up to go out clubbing viscous heels etc

I REALLY want high heels...

[autumnwind44]

I'm still pretty young.  I almost feel like I could reach back into the past and change things, but then it sinks in and I realize that I'm trapped and will be for a very long time.  It's awful to feel like you blew your chance to live before you even realized something could have been done.

I know this kind of feeling all too well TheQuestion

6-7 years ago I was 16-17, I was going to get counselling and transition but got scared of the reality and magnitude of it...


I will never forgive myself for this.

[autumnwind44]

I hope that you will forgive yourself because there's nothing really to be forgiven. You were young and you were scared. You didn't know better, and probably didn't have anyone to help guide you through that time of your life. It's not your fault.  (((((((((((big hug))))))))))))

Thanks xx x

I know that really but its kind of that feeling of loss of profit.
Like not playing the lottery and having your winning numbers come up 100,000 times lol

Im ok alot of the time tho, it just spikes from time to time x

[katiej]

I know this kind of feeling all too well TheQuestion

6-7 years ago I was 16-17, I was going to get counselling and transition but got scared of the reality and magnitude of it...


I will never forgive myself for this.

You're in your mid-20's.  We've got girls around here transitioning in their 70's.  You're definitely still on the young side.  HRT will probably be very kind to you.

[immortal gypsy]

Constantly being told your a "Good Boy!"

[AnomalyEternal]

Going out thinking I'm passing and being informed that I am not

[KilljoyMillie]

*mtf*
Getting home at the end of the day getting a bath/shower and realising I have no boobs and a thing after forgetting for most of the day or being called by my old name

Millie --<@

[Sweet_Steffy_Bee]

I am MtF, and I have been very dysphoric the last couple months..

Things that have been triggering it are the same as everyone else's. Shaving my face and having to shave my body.

Dont get me wrong, the effort is totes worth it, but I hate that I even have to. I havent  been able to be myself lately because my personal life is burning up on re-entry right now. But this could me my phoenix from the ashes part of my life's song.

Just looking in the mirror has been triggering it too lately. I really want laser or electro on my face. My facial hair causes me to come to tears and can ruin a day. On top of that, each follicle itches an burns. It feels like my face is on fire!!

When I am sitting around, thinking about it, I start pulling hairs out, like a ritualistic machine. I think I might have trich, not sure.

So, I like everyone else have been spiking bad, especially lately as my life loses meaning and direction.

[BrennaSage]

I'll bite

Hitting the magical age of 25 and watching my body decide to just become a man against my sincere wishes ;P No longer feeling like I can adequately scrape the man off of my body with a razor. Having a beard shadow even after a fresh shave ... Oh and being taller than 98% of other humans.

[Nikki_Taz]

Mirrors, I took a shower and shaved and then cried for 2 hours, hit me bad today.

[Ginny]

pregnant women It makes me feel incomplete and that I never will be and that even the breasts I have grown will never be used for what they were made for.
I just found out a close friend of mine that I see all the time is pregnant too. The next 9 months are going to be hard. She is super lovely though and I am really happy for her.

As far as I have read, our breasts can produce milk for a growing baby.  I was hoping to store sperm for a biological child as other options never interested me, but found out I was pretty much sterile (before HRT).  So now hoping to find someone who will be open for adoption or surrogacy(?) with just his genetic material. I don't know if you would be open to either, but its at least an option.

[jaybutterfly]

noticing mirrors aren't helping. I see my body in my mind as being slimmer and feminine. Them shoulders and muscles and gut... ugh

[llerret]

1. Taking my wig off at night
2. Looking at my naked body front on in the mirror
3. Being out in spaces where guys my age are on the prowl for girls
4. Going out with a bunch of cisgender girls
5. Looking through cisgender girls' Instagrams
6. Singing
7. Being at a beach or pool

I know there's more but I can't think of them right now

[Amadeus]

FtM here, and it's mirrors.  Just a nice constant reminder of God's cruel joke on me.

And sweating under the chesticles.  I just want to tear them off and throw them in a fire, watch them burn.  Anything that reminds me that I'm not even barely passing as a bloke.