My wife gives then takes

[Nora Kayte]

All and all my wife and I are getting along a lot better these days. But yesterday I made the decision I will never get my nails done with my wife again. I have been seeing the therapist since January and I am still pre hrt. So I still look like a man. But my wife started going to couples counseling since early march and it seems like we are making progress. But taking this slow is killing me. So on my birthday she was awesome. The best birthday I have had with her. I mentioned a while back that I would like a ring like her engagement ring. I was going to wear it on my pinky. Next to my stainless steel wedding band. She ended up getting me a ring that looked more like a women's wedding band (it was white gold with diamonds) and since it did not look like the rings we were looking at she was kind if scared to give it to me. It was the size of my wedding ring finger she said I could get it resized to fit my pinky. Turns out she picked the perfect ring. I love it so much I just left it as my wedding band. It looks like a feminine wedding ring. It is perfect to me. On top of that she bought me a pair if women's shorts with studs on the pockets and a pink sleep shirt with hearts on it. It seemed like she was coming along. It was a GREAT birthday!! Then yesterday against my better judgment I decided to get our nails done together. With her sitting next to me. I get French manicure and pedicures. She has been OK with me getting my toes with a shinny top coat so I asked if it would be OK to do that on my fingers and she said no. So I had to stick with a matte top coat. A matte top coat makes them look like natural nails. Then she bitched that the white on my toes was to wide. Then my finger nails were to long. Then the white on my fingers was to wide. Then the white was to white. ( off white makes them look more natural. Just when I think we are getting past things. She brings us right back. Having my nails done is usually one of my favorite days. So I am never going with her again. Had absolutely no fun yesterday.

[Just Ole Me]

Your wife seems like my wife.  She is accepting but for now only as long as it's not something like nails or other things that can be seen by others out of the home and are obviously female. My wife has said to me that she isn't ready to be viewed by the world as a lesbian.   The shorts she bought you could be worn with a T shirt and in her mind she might feel ok with you wearing that outside the home as it's less definite to her that others are seeing you a female or even a CD. . Female style nails are very clear to the world that you are at least trying to present as female.

We are so eager in transition that we forget that sometimes that our loved ones aren't moving at the same pace.  Patiences my dear....patiences.  Give her time to adjust. Believe me I know its hard but you will have greater odds of keeping your wife.

Hugs

Kay