Gah can't sleep. I've been itching lately. And angry. I might abort the mission.

[Jenna Marie]

When I lived as a guy - and I was one, for a while - none of this stuff interested me then, and still less now. My father is the "money above all" type, and I just never got the point; I'd rather be *happy* than collect a lot of pretty toys.

Honestly, I think many men who actually grow up get over the phase of drooling over stuff like that. Not all, but the attitude on that tumblr seems awfully immature. (Not to mention objectifying women.) Heck, to check I sent it to a cis male friend of mine who's sort of my go-to for normal guy attitudes and he emailed back an eyeroll and "Is this dude 16"?

[HoneyStrums]

I guess this is my official very first nervous breakdown thread

Has anyone here ever had one of these?

YES I HAVE, especially when, I notice a male trait or behaviour in a part of my personality, it sends me for a loop, not just discovering male traits, but reacting differently to a woman in a situation, it all sends me for a loop.

But the point is, I get out of that situation doubt myself but rebuild from the ground up, but people are different. Theirs something about me that no matter how masculine I look, or how Manish some parts of my personality are, I still identify female, and its that what I struggle with, how in all my life can I feel female in my male body, I take gender away from everything, so I want long heir bot female hair, I want skirts and dresses and body con clothes, I want boob and a vagina, I want to wear heels. I don't like leg hair, I don't like facial hair, I like earings. but if none of this makes me a woman, why do I still identify as one?? Why do I like men if im not comfortable being with one with the exsistance of this third leg?

Sp the only thing I can say is, I female because I am

[Michelle69]

None of that does anything for me. If it did though and being a man was the way I could get it, I would have to go without.

This, whatever it is, is not something I can turn off or seperate from the rest. It's not something that I am going through, it's who I am.

Mikaela

[Evelyn K]

Just woke up.

Wow I got negged twice? I guess I'm now the big bad evil Evelyn.

[Miharu Barbie]

I don't really know you, but I still love you.

HUGS!

Wow I got negged twice? I guess I'm now the big bad evil Evelyn.

[Evelyn K]

Hehe I'm actually deleting the account shortly. Haven't decided if I'm getting off the mones or not. Oddly out of habit I swallowed another E tab on schedule.

[Alainaluvsu]

Wow I got negged twice? I guess I'm now the big bad evil Evelyn.

Transgender people often have self esteem issues, which leads to thin skin.

And what good does deleting your account do?

[Miharu Barbie]

Wha?  What about your pretty hair?  You going back to boring ol' sex?

Hehe I'm actually deleting the account shortly. Haven't decided if I'm getting off the mones or not. Oddly out of habit I swallowed another E tab on schedule.

[FalseHybridPrincess]

Hehe I'm actually deleting the account shortly. Haven't decided if I'm getting off the mones or not. Oddly out of habit I swallowed another E tab on schedule.

[Megan Joanne]

Hehe I'm actually deleting the account shortly. Haven't decided if I'm getting off the mones or not. Oddly out of habit I swallowed another E tab on schedule.

You know I've done this almost every site that I've ever been to, sometimes more than once, but somehow, even when purging to start anew, I didn't do it for this place, guess I felt I may need to come back again someday (though I couldn't find my password for the longest time), and so here I am.

Maybe you just need a short break away to think things through for yourself without any other minds muddling things up into a mixed bag of confusion. Just misplace your password some place that you wouldn't think to look, and maybe when you are ready to come back here (if you ever want to) it'll just suddenly pop up, like, "hey, over here, looking for me!?".

[Miranda Catherine]

Even for the most obviously transgender woman, the decision is hard because of the things we perceive we're giving up, but this journey has been so worth it for me I wouldn't think of going back. When they bury me it's going to be as a woman. Truthfully, Evelyn, I mourn for you, because if something so transitory and meaningless (at least to me) as money and power is enough for you to even think of de-transitioning, you're one mixed up lady. I hope you make the right decision, whatever that may be. I wouldn't stop anything until I talked to your endo or therapist first. I think the decision to de-transition is actually bigger than transitioning, because you're walking away from such an important part of your life that you're now saying isn't the way of life you thought it would be. I've come to the point where if transitioning didn't work for me, I wouldn't waste another day on this planet and I would end things permanently. Please think this through. Hugs, Mira

[Michaela Whimsy]

Your identity how you identify yourself can't really be taken away without you letting it.  Hurricanes, recessions, criminals, etc etc can all take away the material things.  Why gamble your identity for a chance at something that is ultimately so frail?  A lot ofof the richest people in the world right now started off as nerds tinkering in there parents basement with a phone line in the back of their 486 computer.  Are they really a different person with money?  Are the half naked ladies after them?  If they were 30 years old showered weekly and lived in the parents basement do you think the cars interest them? No!  That hiding in a secure place is their identity they tend to hold their identity even with the money.  A poor extrovert would likewise turn into a rich extrovert.  You are you.  You aren't money.

Ask what and who you want to be, because the day may always come that you feel like you lost everything I doubt that a sense of self is easier to lose than money or belongings.

This entire website with more than 11 million posts exists because of the incredible need to be able to be self aware and self identify on a deeper level than money could ever touch.

Anyone has the ability to be wealthy, its rare for people to be absolutely true to themselves.

[DriftingCrow]

Wow I got negged twice? I guess I'm now the big bad evil Evelyn.

Hehe I'm actually deleting the account shortly. Haven't decided if I'm getting off the mones or not. Oddly out of habit I swallowed another E tab on schedule.

I hope you're not deleting your account because of mine and another's negative rep. point on you. Reading through this thread, it seems like your topic/comments in the FTM section (which landed you neg reps) was you taking your insecurities about yourself and channeling your anger about it onto the transguys.

If you're feeling that bad and are unsure about your identity, just quitting the site might not be very helpful. Maybe taking a short break to clear your head some will be good for you, but Susan's Place can be helpful on figuring things out if you go about it the right way.

[Jessica Merriman]

Topic has now run it's course.

Topic locked