I came out, but my mum seems to be sceptic to this stuff. What to do?

[Emma_]

Hi!
Finally I came out yesterday to my mother. Unfortunately after this conversation she doesn't seem supportive at all.
I said that I would like to go to the psychologist just to talk about this, and he will 'check if I am trans' (it was just an argument for my mum).
She said that I can go whether I want, but 'I will loose money, because it won't change anything'.

Then I realised that maybe she doesn't understand what I'm talking about, and asked her if she understands me. I answered that I'm transexual and I would like to change my gender. She said that I'm joking, this is not normal that for my own request I want to go for an operation and so on. I was asking a questions what if I'm ts and I will go through this whole process? She said that I'm not ts and it's just my imagine.

For sure her knowledge about transsexuality is not the best one.

Did you have more or less similar problem to mine? How can I convince her that this is what I want?

Right now I am going to this psychologist, but after it what next? I am afraid that she won't let me to go to other doctors :/

Good point is that I've moved already from my home, so it doesn't matter what she will say. I will still do it by myself. I'm 20 and I can do anything I want, but I just wanted to have some support from my mother, because it's not easy of course.

[Ms Grace]

It is very rare for parents to immediately accept their child is transgender and wants to transition. Some accept it easier than others, some never accept it. A lot of it has to do with their view of the world and how open they are to understanding what you are feeling and what it means to be trans. It can be a very rough road. I would suggest seeing the psychologist and once you have a better understanding of what is going on for you then you can bring your mother in to a session.

[Julia-Madrid]

Hi Emma

Be patient, but also try to educate your mother little by little.  When I told my family I was trans they were totally shocked at first.  My sister even told me I was delusional. 

Let you mother into your head slowly, so that she can at least understand how you see yourself and your world.  And give her some time to deal with the enormity of your words.

Hugs
Julia 

[Emmaline]

Give her some understanding of the science behind it- that if you are transgender it is nothing to be ashamed about- it is an endocrine problem not a mental health problem.

Here is a great video explaining what it is.

Watch "The Biology of Being Transgender" on YouTube
The Biology of Being Transgender: http://youtu.be/h54jKbYRfE0

Ask her to give you the benefit of the doubt for just a month whilst you see a gender specialist and get a clear understanding.   See if you can bring her along to meet them to fill her in.  Point out that the specialist will help clear up confusion so you csn finally be happy.  It is about you being happy.

It is important to establish that it is a serious condition and the best thing to do right now is for you to see a
gender specialist to work through the problems.  Gender is not something that can be ignored and the sooner it is treated the better.

[Emma_]

Well, mother's reaction is quite strange, because my mum knows gays and she never had a 'problem with tolerance'. Even she sees a lot of lgbt, because she lives in Barcelona.

She is ok that my sis will travel with her friend and her's godfather who is gay.

So the reaction to my 'problem' is quite strange in all.


How I can or should 'educate' my mother?

It is important to establish that it is a serious condition and the best thing to do right now is for you to see a
gender specialist to work through the problems.  Gender is not something that can be ignored and the sooner it is treated the better.

Nah, I wish my mother would know that...

[Ms Grace]

Sometimes people can have great tolerance around things that don't effect them personally, but as soon as it does they see things quite differently. That's good though, it means she may come around sooner rather than later. She just needs time, and maybe some space, to come to grips with your news.

[LizMarie]

Your mother is projecting her expectations (of her son) on you. She has raises/is raising a son and has firmly believed she had a son since you were born. She doesn't want to give that up. She also may be somewhat embarrassed by the thought of you being trans so may be denying for that reason as well.

The short answer is that you have to live your life, not your mother. I don't know how old you are but if you are younger than the age of majority, then just be patient. She can delay you but cannot stop you from pursuing your life as you see fit.

And I agree with you - see a therapist! A good therapist will help you sort through things and figure out who and what you really are.

[Emma_]

Your mother is projecting her expectations (of her son) on you. She has raises/is raising a son and has firmly believed she had a son since you were born. She doesn't want to give that up. She also may be somewhat embarrassed by the thought of you being trans so may be denying for that reason as well.

Yeah, I also have the same suspicions about her 'thinking'. Now I have to do something just to try change her minds in this way. For sure quarrelling is not the best option.

Today she was saying how hairy legs I have (I hate her comments about my appearance), and I replied that I will depilate them soon. She answered 'yeah, you will do that' (sarcastically).
I don't listen to her, and I will do it for sure, but it just shows that she doesn't respect all my decisions.

The short answer is that you have to live your life, not your mother. I don't know how old you are but if you are younger than the age of majority, then just be patient. She can delay you but cannot stop you from pursuing your life as you see fit.

I'm 20 (21 in october). Well, I don't want to have delays because of my mum, and I will do everything on my way.

And I agree with you - see a therapist! A good therapist will help you sort through things and figure out who and what you really are.

To be honest my thoughts about myself are arranged and known for me. I want to the therapist, because he/she will know how to check it and then give me some opinion about my ts.

I was thinking about getting my mother to this therapist (for the last meeting)... The therapist maybe could say anything to my mother. But I'm not sure about that, because my mother says that 'therapist is not a doctor' -.-

[ChelseaAnn]

My parents are pretty accepting of my trans status now. I was at their house in a cute top and a skirt a few weeks ago. Just had to remove my wig, but I still am unsure if my mom was uncomfortable with it, or because it was a little messed up from being out all day.
Anyway, even as accepting as they are, they still had me get blood work done to test for imbalances and stuff. (yes dad, you're right, it is a hormone imbalance, just not the one you're thinking of)
Give her time.

[~Evelyn~]

What advice I have had from others I will now tell you. Give her some time, allow her to process everything you are her own flesh and blood after all, she will get back to you trust me. In time she will start to accept you for who you are, till then hang in there kay? *hugs*

[Jo-is-amazing]

Don't confuse skepticism with rejection. My mum was very skeptical at first, but once she did a but of research...
I deliberately tried to avoid arguing with her... she actually came around. Just give her time, she might just come around

It;s important to remember, that despite our best efforts, GID, or whatever the proper name is, it changes sometimes , is incredibly rare and most people know nothing about it