Feeling and thought process changes with HRT

[carrie359]

OMG,
Totally .. girly now.. I laugh a lot, I smile a lot.. everyone likes me better.. I shop till I drop.. I love clothes now.. which is good and bad.. I spend bucks on clothes and they have to match something. I just got new tennis shoes and had to match my new kick ass shirt and socks.. and jeans...
If I go into Yankee candle I practically have to be dragged out of there.. my sense of smell changed.
Lets see, I am so much more interested in other peoples lives and want details..which makes others feel good .. since we all want to know others care.
I act like a 15 year old girl seriously.. and if I have a drink I become a valley girl..sort of.
Ugh.. lets see.. guys are cute for the first time... seriously know after SRS I will only want guys.. I think??
I am giving my wife permission to have guy dates... and I am ok with that!!!! 
I play with my hair which is getting longer..  and I just plain feel female totally  and mentally I am...
For me I have never felt more content and happy with me.  I love it.
Carrie

[carrie359]

OMG Jill you crack me up 
Carrie
ditto on the bigger tub.. I think?

OMG, Jessica!  Were we separated at birth?  I used to have to pass out drunk and/or stoned to sleep at all, and sometimes I couldn't fall asleep untill 4AM even with that.  Then I wouldn't want to get out of bed until afternoon, sleeping or not.

Until a couple of years ago, I had always ID'd as a straight guy because I was (and still am) very much attracted to women and not so much gay guys.  I have plenty of gay friends, and I was never once tempted to experiment with any of them.  I still do not desire anal nor oral with a guy (OK, maybe if I don't have to swallow), and I never really enjoyed being on the receiving end of a BJ (Hmm... wonder why that is?).  I did, however, drunkenly kiss a couple of straight guy friends in college.  Now that I can be completely honest with myself, I am most definitely interested in having heterosexual relations with guys in the future if it involves my vagina.  My wife will have to come along so she doesn't get jealous though. 

Who's up for a three way?

(Note to self, get bigger hot tub...  )

[Emo]

From an emotional perspective, im more confused than ever.
From a sexual perspective, im more confused than ever.

I feel good about becoming a woman tho ive had my doubts. Im happier. I can let my "cuteness" out. Feel more purpose. Not just to be who i am, but im thinking of ways to help others.
Sexually, yes. I now identify as asexual. Thats not to say i have fantasies here and there. Before it was only curiosity not i think it would be a good thing to have a man around altho i have a sort of fear of men in general.
If i was sexual, id probably be lesbian leaning. But im not... So im not... But im not.

As for thought process... I havent noticed anything except now i understand how dumb men can be.

[Misha]

I'm glad to hear your analytical/logical abilities stayed in tact. I'm a programmer so that's going to be important.

I work as analyst/programmer too and the mood cycles I have already created a few funny moments. Once I was quite mad at my line manager because he adjusted the window blinds in our Prague office. My eyes are quite light sensitive and I was also at the end of my weekly cycle (induced by weekly injections) which means I got easily mad. The scene he got :-D .

I guess the word got out as a week later I wrote a "heads-up" warning message that I have a bad day on our development channel which is also shared with other cities. And my project manager who's in London added: "And you don't want to see Misha mad :-) ."

And regarding the constant smile/laugh: I have the same. The great thing about it is that it helps to train and maintain a feminine voice. Or at least it works like that for me. At start the emotions were new and confusing but I got used to them and would never change it back.

As for sexuality it was confusing for me prior to transition but that was fixed when my diagnosis got confirmed. Although it was an interesting feeling when I realized on escalators in the underground that I'm examining with my eyes the butt of a man in front of me few weeks after I started taking estrogens.

[PrincessPatience]

Sex Drive decreased dramatically which i like!
No more nasty "urges" clouding my mind 24/7 and distracting me.
I look at men totally different now.
Emotional connections are more important to me with guys now.
I'm much more at peace and calm.
Crying isn't as hard as it used to be. Which i like because i would NEVER cry before.
I like how much more i'm in-tuned with my womanhood in a sense and I feel more connected with girls my age now.

Its weird i feel VERY different than how i was pre-hrt but in a sense i'm still me. It's very hard to explain.

[Jessica Merriman]

OMG, Jessica!  Were we separated at birth?

You know it Sis! I was adopted, Hmmm

[Emo]

I still feel the urge to hold in my tears. Even when i want to cry. Its kind of a bad habit.

[Allyda]

Who's up for a three way?

(Note to self, get bigger hot tub...  )

Alright girls, get your minds out of the gutter, lol!!

Ally

[Allyda]

I was always girly, but now I'm even more girly to the point it is bothersome to some of my tomboy girlfriends. They know how happy and excited about life I am now compared to how miserable and down I was before so they put up with me.

I'm happy again for the first time in my life since before I lost my biological Mom at age 6.
I feel 30 years younger.
I have 3x more energy.
I got and am still getting all my head hair back.
I can think more clearly and focus better on things.
I cry way more easily during sappy movies.
I'm way more emotional than before to the point I can't hide it like I used to be able to.
I get grossed out by things that before never used to bother me.
I've always loved makeup and jewelry and now won't leave the house without at least a little foundation  and eyeliner on, whereas before I would go out either way.

In general, 3 days in I felt invigorated -like I was reborn -that my body had been starving for estrogen all it's life. I'm never looking back, and at 49 I still look pretty good so I'll enjoy being able to wear skimpy things while I can!, lol!

Best wishes!

Ally

[Jessica Merriman]

Alright girls, get your minds out of the gutter, lol!!

Not in the gutter, I promise! They are in Jill's hot tub!

[ErinS]

Anger used to be the subtext of the entirety of my limited emotional range; now it's gone, and not only can I can experience feelings I never truly had access to, but they're pure in essence.

The last few days Ive been in a melancholy mood, and watching the music video for Lana Del Rey's 'Ride' turned me into a bawling mess.  Despite crying my eyes out, I also felt...happy; joy that I was being authentic for once, That I COULD be authentic.

[Hideyoshi]

Hi, I was wondering what sort of differences in feelings are experienced once you start HRT. Have any of you noticed any changes to your thought processes as well?

Thanks everyone,

Angelia

I cry a lot easier. A LOT easier.

[Incarlina]

My top three changes:
1. No more stressful background noise in my head.
2. A wider and stronger emotional spectrum.
3. Ermagerd, a baby! It's a baby! Look at the baby! Hi baby! Hiiiiiiiii!

[Kaylee Angelia]

I was always girly, but now I'm even more girly to the point it is bothersome to some of my tomboy girlfriends. They know how happy and excited about life I am now compared to how miserable and down I was before so they put up with me.

I'm happy again for the first time in my life since before I lost my biological Mom at age 6.
I feel 30 years younger.
I have 3x more energy.
I got and am still getting all my head hair back.
I can think more clearly and focus better on things.
I cry way more easily during sappy movies.
I'm way more emotional than before to the point I can't hide it like I used to be able to.
I get grossed out by things that before never used to bother me.
I've always loved makeup and jewelry and now won't leave the house without at least a little foundation  and eyeliner on, whereas before I would go out either way.

In general, 3 days in I felt invigorated -like I was reborn -that my body had been starving for estrogen all it's life. I'm never looking back, and at 49 I still look pretty good so I'll enjoy being able to wear skimpy things while I can!, lol!

Best wishes!

Ally

Thank you for sharing that Ally, especially about your hair growing back. I'm 46 and am concerned about that. Your mentioning that gives me a lot of hope.

Angelia

[Kaylee Angelia]

Anger used to be the subtext of the entirety of my limited emotional range; now it's gone, and not only can I can experience feelings I never truly had access to, but they're pure in essence.

The last few days Ive been in a melancholy mood, and watching the music video for Lana Del Rey's 'Ride' turned me into a bawling mess.  Despite crying my eyes out, I also felt...happy; joy that I was being authentic for once, That I COULD be authentic.

I'm happy for you and I'm glad you're feeling better. Soemtimes we all just need a good cry.

[Jessica Merriman]

3. Ermagerd, a baby! It's a baby! Look at the baby! Hi baby! Hiiiiiiiii!

I forgot that one! Definitely!

[Rachel]

I have experienced a lot of what was already said and I add,

I can see colors much better,

I do not smell like BO an hour after showering. In fact my natural odor is rather nice a sweet,

The chest squeeze is gone and hand and feet tingles are gone,

I am so calm,

I can remember some dreams now and then because I have a longer and sounder sleep, but the dreams are bad.

I can listen now!

When I was younger I was not choosey about guys. Now I have a very specific image of the perfect guy. When I am with them (2) I am helpless. If they were interested it would be very difficult to not be with them.

[Hikari]

You know I am not sure if the changes I have as have been so intense but before I did proper HRT I did some herbal things so maybe I just eased into it because everyone seems to say I act pretty differently.

The things other people primarily say is that I am happier, a better listener (I.e I don't monopolize the conversation as much) and that I am more industrious.

What I notice is somewhat less interest in violence, I still love the violent game or movie but some things which were in my comfort level before elicit this visceral feeling of wanting to be rid of that violence.

I miss cuddling with a lover more for sure after HRT, I still only like girls but I do crave loving attention from them more now than before which is messed up as I was already needy and cuddly before.

I seem to have more interest in forming connections to other people I was always talkative in the right crowd but I am even more so now.

[Ravensong]

I'm an Aspie as well so I can relate a lot to what you're saying.

How many us Aspys are trans?   And I can relate a lot to both of you.  I haven't started HRT yet, but this give me hope for myself.

[AnnaCannibal]

So far none of my interests have changed, but the most noticeable thing I've felt is a serene calm take over my entirity.  Now, I still get mad!  But, I feel like I can just wave my hand and feel confident about the situation.