Survival skills as a transwoman

[LeftistLeslie]

I'm very concerned about this as a newbie trans woman who is still learning to pass. I've been warned away from certain places while dressed as a woman. What recourse do I have and what can I do to protect myself? How do I find out what areas are dangerous to be trans in?

About me, I live in north east Florida, which is in the south, the rim of the south but still in the south. My experience, limited though it is is that the overwhelming majority of people don't react to it. I figure, even if people have some moral problem with trans people, one generally doesn't outright confront people in public because most people are socialized to avoid a conflict. If I saw someone who was simply funny looking or ugly or whatever, I wouldn't walk up to them and hit them or yell at them. If they were doing something I would think was repugnant, like wearing a shirt with a swastika that said "God Bless Adolf Hitler," I might give them a dirty look but I'm not going to fight them. That has generally been the reaction I get, a few people give me what seems like a dirty look but not much else. A few people are even especially friendly to me like when I went out shopping for shoes and my first bra.

There are however a very small number of people that I am worried about, who will provoke a conflict, or see my existence as sufficient provocation to confront me, or more. I am told there are people like that at a nearby mall, Regency which has gone down hill as of late as well as in rural areas but is that true? How can avoid places where those people are likely to be? What can I do if I am confronted by an aggressive psycho?

[Hikari]

Well, I can make a pretty shelter with just a knife, and some time in the woods...Wait, not those survival skills lol

The vast majority of people are not going to want to force violence upon you regardless of how they feel about you...That being said a small minority will, and they don't just live in the south sadly (but, you would probably be safer somewhere not FL). The big thing is, to have some sort of public recourse. In other words, try never to be isolated and alone. Being alone, especially at night is one of the worst things to do, as any sort of woman but, especially a trans woman.

As far as knowing which specific places are most dangerous, I don't really know that I can input much on that. I can say which places in near DC I feel are safe, but I couldn't even tell you what is dangerous in Baltimore despite being so close to it (The whole place looks like a cesspool every time I go there, but I am sure it isn't bad everywhere). I do know having some first hand knowledge of my local area is really invaluable to me.

I worry about being confronted by someone aggressive as well, but luckily aside from being at work, I am almost never alone, and I am usually armed with something (I have a gun, but I don't like to carry it, I need to buy more pepper spray). I am only 28 I would rather not die just yet.

[big kim]

 The best self defence is not to be there,not always possible so here's a few ideas.Learn self defence,there are many martial arts that you don't need to be big or strong to win(Hap Kido ?).Don't be afraid to fight dirty,a bunch of keys between the fingers makes a great knuckleduster,a tail comb is a great stilleto substitute,perfume or hairspray etc sprayed in an attackers eyes will give you time to escape or further disable them.I'd rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6.
Carry pepper spray or a gun after you learn how to use them and don't be afraid to use it.

[Brenda E]

I'm very concerned about this as a newbie trans woman who is still learning to pass. I've been warned away from certain places while dressed as a woman. What recourse do I have and what can I do to protect myself? How do I find out what areas are dangerous to be trans in?

A good, important question.  And without simplifying it too much, just use good old fashioned common sense.  Don't go near the usual hotspots for trouble: bars, clubs, anywhere alcohol is served in copious amounts, etc.  It's not so much specific areas that are dangerous, it's specific situations that are dangerous.  If you're out wandering the streets doing a little grocery shopping on a Saturday morning, you're probably safe.  If you're there later that night when it's full of idiots staggering around drunk, you're not safe.  You mention that most people really don't care how you're dressed (other than an odd look once in a while), and you're absolutely correct; alcohol and drugs remove inhibitions though, and the guy who gives you an odd look when he's sober might turn into the guy who starts a confrontation when he's drunk.

There are however a very small number of people that I am worried about, who will provoke a conflict, or see my existence as sufficient provocation to confront me, or more. I am told there are people like that at a nearby mall, Regency which has gone down hill as of late as well as in rural areas but is that true? How can avoid places where those people are likely to be? What can I do if I am confronted by an aggressive psycho?

Again, it sounds simple but just don't go to those places where you suspect troublemakers might be.  It's a minor inconvenience, but you'll feel far safer and more confident.  Thankfully, there aren't too many real crazy people out there, but there are some and it's wise to be prepared and have a plan in place for what to do if things go badly wrong.  Here's mine:

If confronted by an aggressive psycho, I keep my mouth shut, other than a polite "excuse me," and leave.  I don't start arguing, I don't make threats or escalate the situation; I just leave.  If I'm followed, I'll call the police on my cellphone while I'm walking; I might find a security guard or a group of women if I can.  Once I'm out of immediate danger, I'll report the incident to the cops.

Simple.  No karate moves, no kicking the bad guy in the nuts, no super-cutting verbal retorts, no pulling out concealed guns or knives or pepper sprays.  Distance is safety, and a cool head is the best defensive weapon.  I know that some of us dream of smacking down guys who confront us, but that's a surefire way to become a statistic.

You're right to be concerned for your safety.  But on the other hand, don't let fear keep you from exploring who you are.  Get out there and enjoy life! 

[Eva Marie]

Every woman has to deal with ensuring her safety in all situations. This means that there are places you just don't go to, there are times that you just aren't outside, and there are things that you just don't do like have lots of drinks or leave your drink unattended.

In addition to that it's always better to not respond to insults and try to walk or run away if trouble strikes. Only as a last resort should you engage your attacker, and if you do have to fight - fight to win and fight dirty.

Based on where you said your were and the name of a mall I'm pretty sure I know the area that you are talking about. It used to be a pretty nice area and I hate to hear it's dangerous now.

[Virginia]

My female alter does whatever she can to avoid appearing alone- tag behind a family, a group of other women, strike up a conversation with the girl in front of her, anything.

Do not take chances. Be aware of your surroundings and wary of anything that looks out of the ordinary.

Keep your arms free by using a cart for bags instead of carrying them.

Hold you keys in your hand as you walk so you can use them as a weapon and minimize the time it takes to get into your car. If your car has a remote and autolocks, use them.

Set your car door lock as soon as you open the door so it will be locked as soon as you swing inside.

Keep your heels in a bag to put on when you get to where you are going, and wear sensible shoes getting there. It will keep you from tearing up your dress shoes and will put you in a better position to run if you need to.

Unless you are looking to meet a significant other, wear a wedding set and avoid outfits that say "phuck me."

Look everyone in the eye, smile and say "hi." This discourages attackers because you appear less vulnerable and they know you have seen them.

[LeftistLeslie]

All good ideas. Thank you, I feel a little more reassured.