How does it feel to be pretty?

[pretty pauline]

Maharu Barbie and Suzifrommd are actually both correct, it is both a labor of love and a burden, after spending nearly 2 hours in a hair salon getting my hair styled, colored and highlighted, then the threat of bad weather ruining all the hard work, or wearing a pair of gorgeous heels that match my latest dress, but murder on my poor feet, I slip them off under the table giving my feet some relief and nobody notices, it takes hubby about 10 mins to get ready, then sits down looking at TV and waits for me to get ready, he knows it takes me just under 2 hours to get ready, just rolls his eyes WOMEN!!
I'II choose an outfit, then change my mind, my bag or maybe a small purse has to be in tune with my dress and shoes, hubby has 3 pairs of shoes, Iv about 50, Iv lost count. I take my time doing my hair and makeup, that takes about 30mins, doing my lipstick and gloss last, then a final check in the mirror, what I put myself thru all for the sake of vanity and fashion, its hard work, 1 final check in the mirror, not a hair out of place, check my lips with my tiny hand mirror, now I'm finally ready, its a burden, but then a labor of love when I see my husband's reaction, ''gosh Pauline sweetie, you look pretty, you look a million dollars'' its a great feeling, thats how it feels to be pretty, a burden and a labor of love, but well worth it,  the end result does wonders for my self esteem and self confidence as a woman.
PS I forgot to mention, after all the hard work, serveral visits to a ladies room on a night out is required for touching up and hair fixing, a face touch up foundation stick, powder and lippy to maintain the look and staying pretty.

[Allyda]

It's working surprisingly well!  After I cook the meat of course.  Though I've had to incorporate a steak knife for the more tough bits.   

Lmao he, he, he, he ha ha ha ha he, he, heeee! Yea I heard we're full of gristle, and of course, we older ones..........Lol!

On a serious note: I wasn't going to answer this question because I don't see myself as being that pretty, and, I'm really not vain. However, because I do get a lot of unwanted attention these days that continues to get worse, coupled with a few things I've heard my cis girlfriends say about me when they thought I wasn't around, plus the fact I do care very much how I look, I'll do my best to describe how I cope which in short is, you just take the good with the bad and move on.....

On average I spend about an hour each morning on makeup and hair whether I'm going anywhere that day or not. I'm not as fussy as a few younger girls I know, but let's face it. My nightclubbing days are over given I'm pushing 50. Though, on a rare occasion when I do go out at night it can sometimes take me an hour and a half just to choose an outfit. I never have enough shoes, and I doubt if I ever will -same goes for purses/bags, and as many here have said getting caught in one rainstorm can ruin all my hard work. Also like others have said I keep smaller versions of whatever makeup I'm wearing in my purse on any given day, and check to see if a touch up is needed when going to the restroom.

By far the most uncomfortable thing is the unwanted attention, which I'll get with or without makeup and it's just too hot where I live to wear unnecessary clothes. So there's no avoiding it. I do my best to be polite and move on about my business. I must confess it is flattering though so you take the good with the bad.

That's about really all I can say on the subject. The only thing that worries me is getting caught out at night by myself by a few unsavory characters. In this case there's not much a 5-5 118 lb. woman can do but hope you can get a call off to 911 in time. Which is why for the most part, my nightclubbing days are over, and I tend to be in before dark whenever possible.

Best wishes!

Allie

[KittyKat]

I never really would consider myself pretty but I've been in group therapy for the past two months and have been called pretty many times. For me it's kind of a nice and pleasant warm feeling that comes from the pit of your stomach that makes you think "ok, maybe this is really working out and I'll be happy when I'm done." I don't know if that really answers the question but that's what feeling pretty is like for me. I don't have a lot of high confidence moments so it's nice when I do.

[Rainbow Brite]

I have no idea what it's like. But, I have noticed that since transitioning, I am a little more confidant. I am not afraid to looks someone in the eye if they are staring.

[Jo-is-amazing]

It actually doesn't matter, because no matter what happens or how beautiful you become/ are, there will always be someone prettier than you, and you will judge yourself against them. Just let it go, spending too much time worrying about it is not healthy. It's the same for cis-girls as well, in your own eyes you may never be pretty, so its best to try to accept that and move on

[imissmymama]

Its nice to feel attractive of course, but the question is always will they still feel the same way if they knew you are trans? And alot of women are beautiful and pretty, so it really isn't big of a deal. It doesnt really mean anything in the end.

[judithlynn]

Well;

Having just met Grace three days ago - seems a lifetime as I am now the other side of the Pacific Ocean, I reckon she is dead gorgeous. Mind you we  both have a beautiful role model as well in Catherine. I haven't seen her in a Year and met her with Grace. I could get over what a  really radiant person she is now having been in her words 1000% fulfilled. Mind you she was also  absolutely deep drop gorgeous before her SRS. But now well!!!
Judith

[pretty pauline]

but the question is always will they still feel the same way if they knew you are trans?

Well every situation, personal circumstances, relationships etc are all different, Iv dated men in the past who didn't accept my history, but that's life, sometimes I disclosed, depends on the guy, some accept, some don't. My present fiancé I dated for 18 months, he had absolutely no idea, I only disclosed when he suggested we get engaged, he was a bit shocked, but accepted my situation, he never wants his family to know, that's understandable with the stereotypes thinking my husband's wife used to be a ''man''
We never discuss it, my husband and I don't see myself as trans, I'm just a woman with a history, it belongs in the past, we're now just a normal husband and wife. He looks at me the way any man looks at a woman, and treats me as a woman
There are normal straight men who do accept women like us, and women who accept men with a history too.

[YinYanga]

It actually doesn't matter, because no matter what happens or how beautiful you become/ are, there will always be someone prettier than you, and you will judge yourself against them. Just let it go, spending too much time worrying about it is not healthy. It's the same for cis-girls as well, in your own eyes you may never be pretty, so its best to try to accept that and move on

Yes, it's important to find a happy medium. I enjoy looking good but having to worry about every little detail all during day is tiring, if I am 95% fine with my looks and everyday wear but would need to invest much more time and money. I'm pretty picky and things like fabric, patterns and compatibility are something I enjoy but don't want to feel obssesed over because that 1 random guy/girl I met today might have been put off by that!

If someone is specifically loooking at me gazingly with a smile and looks me right in the eyes I do feel at my prettiest, appreciated

[mandonlym]

A little bit hesitant to respond but here it goes...

I used to spend more time on my appearance but after a decade post-transition I rarely wear makeup and just walk around not really thinking about my appearance, but aware that I have attractiveness privilege. It's a reality I've learned to live with over the years and I'm still grappling with it, especially around the issue of being trans.

There's no doubt that it makes things easier. I didn't have the same kinds of adjustment problems a lot of people here talk about. I know that family and friends were more accepting of me when I transitioned because I fit into their idea of what an attractive woman is supposed to look like. I've never had a problem finding people interested in dating me, which I thought would change when I publicly disclosed, but that hasn't happened. I don't experience body dysphoria because my body as it is falls within the range of what female bodies are supposed to look like, and enough people are attracted to it as a female body that I don't think about it a lot. I've only done SRS and hormones; no other surgeries or medical intervention.

Some issues: it's harder to make friends, especially with people who are not conventionally attractive, which in practice also means a lot of trans people and that's something I'm trying really hard to deal with. I trigger insecurities, say things that are unintentionally insensitive. Like, when I talk about people randomly approaching me or having choices of people to date / sleep with, my friends who have attractiveness privilege just nod. With friends who are not in that position that can be really tricky and can produce difficult situations, and usually ends up with me not being as close to those people or them avoiding me.

Also, it's harder to know if someone likes you independent of how you look. Sometimes, you can date or be friends with someone for a long time and realize that they're just humoring you or wouldn't be interested in hanging out with you if they didn't perceive you as attractive. It's also harder for some people to take you seriously. They see thin blond woman and automatically think dumb, regardless of how smart or educated you actually are.

And yes, there's the street harassment. That's not as much of a problem now as it was in my 20's, but it's still a problem.

[Joanna Dark]

Some issues: it's harder to make friends, especially with people who are not conventionally attractive, which in practice also means a lot of trans people and that's something I'm trying really hard to deal with. I trigger insecurities, say things that are unintentionally insensitive. Like, when I talk about people randomly approaching me or having choices of people to date / sleep with, my friends who have attractiveness privilege just nod. With friends who are not in that position that can be really tricky and can produce difficult situations, and usually ends up with me not being as close to those people or them avoiding me.

Also, it's harder to know if someone likes you independent of how you look. Sometimes, you can date or be friends with someone for a long time and realize that they're just humoring you or wouldn't be interested in hanging out with you if they didn't perceive you as attractive. It's also harder for some people to take you seriously. They see thin blond woman and automatically think dumb, regardless of how smart or educated you actually are.

And yes, there's the street harassment. That's not as much of a problem now as it was in my 20's, but it's still a problem.

Yes, yes, and yes. I think I'm pretty freaking hidoeus, but my BF says no, you're pretty. Sometimes more than others, which is weird, but I see guys staring you down all the time. You're right: it is a privilege. And it's good, great even. But at the same time, like you said, often I feel at odds with the trans community or say things that are insensitive or arrogant without realizing it. I only count my hormonal transition, so it's been about 15-16 months. But only nine months of actual HRT, the initial period was self-medded and the lowest does you can go while still technically taking them.

And other than my brother and dad, I'm pretty much accepted and my mom has even come around and we were just talking about hair dye and moisturizing not five minutes ago.

But the one thing that saddens me is the the person non grata vibe I feel around trans folks IRL and here. I've gotten really sesnitive about it lately and have been crying a lot because of it, cause this is the one place I feel like I should be able to connect but it's like putting an american cellphone cord into a European outlet. It's not fitting and I'm trying to force it.

The street harrsment really realyl bothers me. And yeah people could say take a compliment or accept it or this or that, but I'm 31 and most of my life I spent as a very petite andogynous femme dude who could date women but only for a couple days. Only one relationship lasted. Men. Forget it. I was too femme looking. I stopped trying. So being so wanted is shocking and often times I'm left agape without any ay to respond and just kinda like really, stop effing with me.

So I guess while it feels great and yeah I love how I look sometimes and am transfixed but at the same time, I have prolly never felt more alone, and it's destroying/destroyed my relationship with my BF, cause he just doesnt understand it or doesnt want to...i dont know. 

Abd while these may seem like first world problems, there still mine and still valid. The mustard seed and all that.

[JLT1]

I'm not pretty.  I am 40DD/F and 6'1".  People talk to my breasts a lot.  I have actually made faces at people during a conversation and they haven't noticed. 

Jen

[Allyda]

I'm not pretty.  I am 40DD/F and 6'1".  People talk to my breasts a lot.  I have actually made faces at people during a conversation and they haven't noticed. 

Jen

Lmao, he, he, he. I bet you get that a lot. I have a friend who's mom is a DDD and she was telling me about that happening to her a lot. She told me most of them can't help themselves, lol! I bet you got a good laugh about it afterwards with some of those faces you made.

As for me I don't think I'll have to worry too much about that happening with my little A cups.

Allie

[YinYanga]

Right, I dont think I'll be considering breast enlargement now 

[Auroramarianna]

Right, I dont think I'll be considering breast enlargement now 

LOL. *high fives*

[YinYanga]

*high fives
Well you know, perhaps less is more (mystery) afteral 

[Veronica M]

Even though I have already commented, I'll say this... Being pretty is not what is on the outside, even though we worry allot about it. Over all beauty come from the inside. How confident we are and how we express ourselves to others. Not to mention being comfortable with ones self. It truly does shine when you are happy and full of life.

[Ms Grace]

Even though I have already commented, I'll say this... Being pretty is not what is on the outside, even though we worry allot about it. Over all beauty come from the inside. How confident we are and how we express ourselves to others. Not to mention being comfortable with ones self. It truly does shine when you are happy and full of life.

Agree 100%!

[YinYanga]

Even though I have already commented, I'll say this... Being pretty is not what is on the outside, even though we worry allot about it. Over all beauty come from the inside. How confident we are and how we express ourselves to others. Not to mention being comfortable with ones self. It truly does shine when you are happy and full of life.

Always good to remember. I'd rather settle for being a good person and looking just like a run-of-the-mill young woman than a conceited, vain model

[Hikari]

The more I think about this, I come up with this thought:

I don't know how it feels to be pretty, and I wouldn't really know even if I become pretty. I think somewhere deep in my brain I am hardwired to think I am the ugliest thing to walk the earth. I can even have some confidence and vanity, but the idea that other people might like how I look is so foreign to me.