Crying and Testosterone

[solexander]

One thing seems to have subtly changed: I seem to be more interested in violence in the movies and more apt to find it funny. This could be a "natural" evolution on my part, but I wonder whether the T has anything to do with it.

Oh my god, I feel this so much. I actually noticed this in full force with this horror movie reviewer whose online show I watch occasionally- he's one of the types to laugh at particularly silly bad horror movie violence, even in a serious setting. This always struck me as kind of tasteless pre-t, but now I totally get it, and I end up laughing myself. It's the weirdest thing. Same with poorly written horror stories with bad twists, stuff like that. I'll just end up laughing at it.

[Arch]

I've always loved bad movies, including bad horror movies, if they are bad enough to be good. But my reaction is a little more enthusiastic now. Odd.

Certain movies can get me in tears, actually. Father-son scenes do it to me. My therapist says that if I need to cry, I can watch one of those scenes. But he doesn't get it. The relevant scenes are nearly always at the very end of the movie (father and son reconcile after much conflict, that sort of thing), and I would have to watch the entire movie up to that point. If I'm not in the mood to see that movie again all the way through, his advice is pointless.

Still, it might be another way for someone to tap into the crying mechanism. That is, other types of scenes or movies might give you a way in.

[Tossu-sama]

I can still cry - but not at the drop of a hat or even during funerals.  It's with random things like certain songs or movie scenes.  But it's rare.

This, so damn much.

But otherwise I tend to wonder if I know how to cry anymore. Not that I complain, I didn't like it.

[solexander]

I'm jealous of you guys for still being able to cry at some things! My problem is I'm natural really emotional and sentimental when it comes to music and happy moments with friends and I just really like appreciating moments when life makes me feel really good, or really bad. The problem is I just get so blocked up emotionally, and things that make me emotional because they make me happy suddenly just make me upset and anxious- for example, I was seeing one of my most favorite bands play the other day, and I had a really nice moment where they were playing a really emotional and passionate song and I was with a bunch of really nice people and it was just one of those moments that really felt like "home" to me and I almost wanted to cry I was so happy. Instead, I couldn't cry, and started getting anxious and upset because I felt like the tears were there, but wouldn't come out.

[aross1015]

Next step of You guyse probably will be the ability to watch extremely violence on TV/movies like bloodshed (Game of Thrones, anyone?) and not having to turn Your face away... Those scenes never bother me pre-HRT, but now... can't watch those anymore and dont really want to.

Meh, that's a stereotype.  There are guys out there that get squeamish about that sort of stuff, and gals out there who love that type of stuff.  It's really just dependent on the person, and not their gender or sex. 

[aross1015]

I'm jealous of you guys for still being able to cry at some things! My problem is I'm natural really emotional and sentimental when it comes to music and happy moments with friends and I just really like appreciating moments when life makes me feel really good, or really bad. The problem is I just get so blocked up emotionally, and things that make me emotional because they make me happy suddenly just make me upset and anxious- for example, I was seeing one of my most favorite bands play the other day, and I had a really nice moment where they were playing a really emotional and passionate song and I was with a bunch of really nice people and it was just one of those moments that really felt like "home" to me and I almost wanted to cry I was so happy. Instead, I couldn't cry, and started getting anxious and upset because I felt like the tears were there, but wouldn't come out.

I think that will pass once you learn how your body is now going to physically handle emotions.  It's natural to get upset and anxious because something that used to happen easily doesn't happen so easily, or possibly at all anymore. 

[alabamagirl]

I always feel so confused when this topic comes up and everyone says it's affected by hormones... I cry at the drop of a hat, and I'm still running on T. I know others like that, too. I can't decide if it's just because hormones affect people differently, if it means I and the others I referred to don't have as high of testosterone levels or something (which doesn't seem likely, looking at all the very masculine effects of T on my body), or if the ability to cry is more a mental thing. Like, subconsciously, we feel, "I'm a guy now, so I'm not supposed to cry," or, "I'm a girl now, so it's okay to cry."

I dunno... It just baffles me why T hasn't hindered my ability to cry.

And I also sort of worry that if I'm this emotional without estrogen, will I be too emotional to even function anymore with it?

[aross1015]

I always feel so confused when this topic comes up and everyone says it's affected by hormones... I cry at the drop of a hat, and I'm still running on T. I know others like that, too. I can't decide if it's just because hormones affect people differently, if it means I and the others I referred to don't have as high of testosterone levels or something (which doesn't seem likely, looking at all the very masculine effects of T on my body), or if the ability to cry is more a mental thing. Like, subconsciously, we feel, "I'm a guy now, so I'm not supposed to cry," or, "I'm a girl now, so it's okay to cry."

I dunno... It just baffles me why T hasn't hindered my ability to cry.

And I also sort of worry that if I'm this emotional without estrogen, will I be too emotional to even function anymore with it?

I don't see it as the emotions being affected by hormones, just the ways in which we express them, and even then different people are affected differently.  I'm still full of emotions, I just express some of them differently, like my lacking the ability to cry much.  I used to cry all the time, especially when being confronted by an authority figure, it made having discussions at work pretty much impossible.  Now I can have a discussion at work of a serious matter, and not be bawling my eyes out the whole time. 

[Arch]

I always feel so confused when this topic comes up and everyone says it's affected by hormones... I cry at the drop of a hat, and I'm still running on T.

People vary, obviously, and I'm sure that some of the effect is due to upbringing. But T actually tends to dampen the crying reflex.

One of my friends is older (65ish), and he says that he cries more easily than he used to. We can't figure out whether it's due to decreasing T levels, his not caring so much what other people think, or a combination.

[alabamagirl]

People vary, obviously, and I'm sure that some of the effect is due to upbringing. But T actually tends to dampen the crying reflex.

One of my friends is older (65ish), and he says that he cries more easily than he used to. We can't figure out whether it's due to decreasing T levels, his not caring so much what other people think, or a combination.

Well, I've definitely become way more outwardly emotional since coming out as trans. I no longer feel like I have to be this stoic, strong guy. Since letting go of that, I've noticed a slow but steady shift back to expressing my emotions freely like I was able to when I was a child. I also feel them stronger. I guess that's due to not immediately repressing anything that might be seen as weakness, like I used to.

[aleon515]

I think there's something re: giving yourself "permission" so to speak. The first place I cried post T was at a trans camp, where other males on T cried. But still it isn't nearly as easy as pre-T. I also know that trans women talk about crying for every reason, like I used to cry at Telecom commercials and that sort of thing.

--Jay

[awilliams1701]

Pre everything I choke up. I generally don't cry, but its been known to happen. I'm hoping HRT will change that if it can change. Choking up is extremely uncomfortable emotionally. It feels better to cry for real.

[YinYanga]

3 months on HRT, cried only once so far which was a great experience.

I might just not be the person for it, my 2 manly brothers cried easier than me before I started E -.-

So maybe its not entirely related to T/E

[Xenguy]

Something really weird and really frustrating, actually, is that testosterone has made it pretty impossible for me to cry. I've heard this complaint from a bunch of trans men before, too- it just gets really really difficult, even if you want to. It's really convenient sometimes when I'm in public or something, because crying makes it harder for me to pass as male, but when I'm alone or with trusted people and something really really moves me, I feel like I've got like, emotional constipation (sorry for that visual, but it's the only thing I can think of to describe it as, haha). I've got pretty bad clinical depression, and a lot of the time, crying was a really good and necessary release, and now that I can't seem to it's getting hard not to fall back into harmful behaviors and vices for that release- self harm, etc. Sometimes it makes me really anxious. Anyone else have that experience? Been able to fix it or deal with it at all?

Thhhissss, I noticed it became near physically impossible to cry after about 2 to 3 weeks on T. I could be sad and whatever it's just nothing ever came out and it bugs me so much!

[blink]

If eyes watering from physical irritants/allergies doesn't count, nope, not since starting T. I was looking forward to this effect. Never understood people referring to it as a release/relief since crying always made me feel worse.

I wonder how much of it is inherently T/E, and how much is "the wrong hormone" making people feel crummier.

[CursedFireDean]

I agree with Blink, I'm looking forward to not crying so easily. I always hate crying and I cry way too easily now, especially after going on birth control. It's one of the only side effects of my pills so I think it is a T/E thing.

[Arch]

Never understood people referring to it as a release/relief since crying always made me feel worse.

I had the same experience for a long, long time. People didn't believe me. Jerks. Just because it's not YOUR experience...

[alabamagirl]

Crying doesn't feel like a release to me, either, usually. I'm not going to say it never has, because I can't remember what each individual situation was like, but crying for me is more just... A physical representation of my sadness. The feeling remains the same. The act of crying doesn't make me feel better nor worse.

But I tend to experience all my emotions this way. Whatever I'm feeling, I can count on it lasting for quite a while, and there's really nothing I can do to "release" it, or make it subside faster.

This thread is interesting to me. I had never given much thought to something like crying making people feel better or worse.

[thereishope]

i'm pre-everything and i don't cry very easily. i -do- cry over my own personal mental anguish and ->-bleeped-<- like that, but that's about it. i don't cry at sad movies or emotional news or anything else really, just my own problems. :p but crying does make me feel better and it's scientifically proven to do so for MOST people cuz it's supposed to remove toxins, lower manganese levels, etc. just in case anyone was curious. but obviously though thats true for most, it's not for everyone.

which does worry me a little about starting t and not being able to get that release. but then again i probably would be happier on t and not have as many mental issues to cry over in the first place, so. hmmm

[aleon515]

I agree with Blink, I'm looking forward to not crying so easily. I always hate crying and I cry way too easily now, especially after going on birth control. It's one of the only side effects of my pills so I think it is a T/E thing.

I agree with that. It didn't seem to suit me to be able to cry so easily, it wasn't I was "able" to-- it seemed like it was something that happened to me for which I had little control.

--Jay