I "failed as a male" twice this week, 6 1/2 week into HRT...INCREDIBLE!

[JohannaJohn]

Hugs to all, I AM FEMALE...

Gals, I am flabbergasted.  Stupendously surprised.  While presenting as male in a supermarket a couple of days ago, shopping with my 6 year old daughter in the Latin country where I live, I gave the "frequent shopper number" of my ex-wife the mother of my daughter to the 30 year female cashier to run through the computer so I could get the discounts -- my ex doesn't mind as it gives her extra points for free stuff...

The female cashier said in Spanish, the language here, "Mrs. Vicky -----, ma'am...omg, sir I am so sorry I thought you were Mrs. Vicky..."  Um, wow.  What can I say?
WOW AM I HAPPY!!!

Today, I was buying more micronized progesterone and estradiol valerate in a local pharmacy, and the about 30 year old female cashier was saying in Spanish to another store on the phone to "please bring me an extra estogen I have a woman here who needs an extra box" right in front of me.

The cashier stared at my breasts a bit, too.

I had NO makeup on, and I was dressed entirely in a male shirt and male pants.  Bottom-down shirt.  But my breasts and nipples are starting to get STARED AT by both males and females.

My nipples protrude totally obviously from my shirt.  It is obvious I have small feminine breasts, if anyone looks closely enough.  People ARE staring now.

My breasts are definitely bigger than just 1 week ago.

Today, in the mirror, I was STUNNED to observie that my neck has shrunk.  Yes, it is very obvious, and I am not kidding.  Does anyone know if this is typical?  And the front of my neck near my Adam's Apple is smooth, like a girl's neck.

Today, I noticed that the palms of my hands no longer look like my age of 56.  The palms of my hands are as smooth now as the palms of a 25 year old cis girl.  INCREDIBLE!

My hair is starting to grow longer, I have LOST ALL DESIRE TO GET A HAIRCUT ANYTIME SOON.  Maybe after it grows some more, I will have it styled in a unisex way so I can still work as a male for the time being, but go out with my daughter or cis girlfriend presenting mostly female.

Gals, my hair is now SMOOTH and soft.  At age 56, I have a little gray but not too much fortunely.

Estradiol valerate and micronized progesterone are like a fountain of youth for my hair and hands.

Gals, listen to this...

My new lengthening hair is growing anew in my natural light brown hair color with ZERO gray!!!

I have found the fountain of youth.

Testosterone poisoning is horrible, gals.  I am SO happy I am correctly this imbalance in my body with my correct female hormones that my body and my mind NEED for sure.

If my hair growth continues, I want to grow my hair to at least my shoulder blades, and it appears that just maybe it will be the natural light brown of my youth!!!

Can you believe this gals?  I feel SO excited.

Maybe to work a little while long as a male at the University and with my private clients, maybe I could just put my hair in a ponytail like some macho guys do, and simply do it this way when working as a male.

Then, when I want to present as female in front of my daughter and cis girlfriend and her sister at my house, and/or go out as a female, I can simply let me hair flow free and natural.

Have any of you gals had results this tremendous, so early on HRT?

My former body odor problem disappeared 3 weeks into HRT.  No more body odor.

Best of all, I can FEEL INTUITIVELY as a female.

All hail our beloved estrogen and progesterone, the key to aligning our emotional and physical states with our true female selves.

Love,
Johanna.

I AM FEMALE.

[Jessica Merriman]

I AM FEMALE.

Looks like that is the under statement of the year!  Feels good to be who you really are and be acknowledged that way. Sounds like you definitely have hit male fail. Relax, hang on and enjoy the ride!!

[stephaniec]

Looks like that is the under statement of the year!  Feels good to be who you really are and be acknowledged that way. Sounds like you definitely have hit male fail. Relax, hang on and enjoy the ride!!

yea, your an extremely lucky woman . It took me 8 months before I could say I saw changes. Congratulations , your next 2 years should be an incredible ride.

[Rachel]

Congratulations.

[JohannaJohn]

You gals are great here.  I feel SO great about all this.  You gals who are a lot further along physically than I am are so very KIND in your hearts to open your emotions to me and to others.

Gals, these mental changes to me are stupendous.  These hormones are phenomenal.  I can hardly believe it.  I thought going in I am female, but never in a million years did I imagine my body would react THIS positively and THIS fast...

And the emotional changes...I finally can FEEL how cis girls FEEL...intuitively...but I don't think I have lost my male strong analytical ability, either.

My relationships have improved dramatically in the past 5 weeks or so, since about 1 week into HRT.

My business harmony is better.  My personal friend harmony is better.  I don't worry so much.  Progesterone is SO calming...I feel almsot "addicted" to progesterone...my body and mind NEED this hormone for me to function properly now....

I feel a quiet confidence about life.

My cis girlfriend may move in with me during August.  She says, maybe about August 15.  Her sister may live with us also, at my apartment where i have plenty of space.

She is 26, and beautiful.  We have known each other for more than a year, and we have NEVER had an argument.  Wowowowow!

Her breasts are 32B.  I told her yesterday by phone that i want bigger breasts than hers.  She "smiled" over the phone, and giggled about it.  I think she accepts the idea, and is amused by it, with laughs and smiles.

How amazing would it be, my gals here, if MY breasts end up sometime soon being all natural, and BIGGER than the breasts of my young beautiful cis girlfriend.

Time will tell...but probably not TOO much time will be needed, to tell...

I told my cis girlfriend in Spanish about these 2 "male fails" i had today and a couple of days ago.  She listened carefully, and seemed to get a kick out of all of it.

She is SO accepting.

HONESTY with her in all respects, BEFORE she might move in with me about August 15, is all about what a great intimate relationship is all about.

Gals, I think she REALLY APPRECIATES the fact that now I can FEEL INTUITIVELY the way she does naturally...because I have the right homrones aligning my body with my true female mind.

I AM FEMALE.

Johanna.

Cynthia, Stephanie, and Jessica whose MANY posts here based on long experience at this journey are a blessing for me, and our fellow girls here.

[Jessica Merriman]

Thanks Johanna! Just doing for others what some did for me. Believe it or not once I was a depressed and scared newbie! I would be nowhere near where I am today without our family here. It is totally amazing. I am totally with you, my body is just drinking up the girl juice. I am alive for the first time in 40 years and have a LOT of life to catch up on!  I love having emotions now, but I am learning not all waterproof mascara is.

[andreag]

Congrats Johanna!

[JohannaJohn]

Thanks Johanna! Just doing for others what some did for me. Believe it or not once I was a depressed and scared newbie! I would be nowhere near where I am today without our family here. It is totally amazing. I am totally with you, my body is just drinking up the girl juice. I am alive for the first time in 40 years and have a LOT of life to catch up on!  I love having emotions now, but I am learning not all waterproof mascara is.

Thank you Andrea!

Jessica, the Internet is truly amazing.  I have lived for many years far away in Latin America, with not many English speakers around at all.  Without the Internet, isolation from my native culture would be rather extreme.

Even for those INSIDE the USA or Canada or the U.K. or wherever...think about what it must have been like before the Internet...all isolated in far away cities...

Maybe one felt as you once did, Jessica, "a scared and depressed newbie"...isolated...

And then after starting HRT, and then the powerful emotions and feelings induced by these wonderful strong medical grade female hormones...

Imagine having probably no else to talk to (other than maybe an endo and therapist -- but they are professional, paid to listen -- not FRIENDS, with a common bond of experience to share for mutual benefit, for free) --

Then, maybe rejected by some, laughed at by others...

And then, like fairy magic, we have places like Susan's and other great communities on the Internet...I like Susan's the BEST but how great it is the Internet permits all such places...

Yes, I have recently learned that waterproof mascara is a toughie for fast transitions between presenting as female, and presenting as male...

Even at home, if I get a sudden unexpected knock on the door, and if I cannot ignore the knock, I cannot really answer the door with the door open if I have to present as male, because waterproof mascara looks so beautiful, but it is a bear to take off quickly...

Sometimes I use eyeshadow (I like a medium amount of pretty medium light purple, myself) and a little blush but without mascara...lipstick is easy to remove fast, too...

As a result, most of the time I don't answer the door to just anyone...people who I really WANT to see in person at my house, simply have to make a prior appointment with me now, so I can 'present" in the "correct" way...

One of the things, gals, that I am MOST excited about is the RE-growth of the natural beautiful light brown hair I had in my youth.

Gals, I am STUNNED by this...never in a million years was I even pondering this before I took my first female hormones 6 and a half weeks ago...

Gals, maybe, just maybe, I won't have to use extensions.  Wow am I happy!

I am truly blessed.  I have found the fountain of youth.  Puberty 2.0 but in the complete sense of fresh young things like the start of wonderful female HAIR.

I mean, having my breasts stared at (which I am LOVING by the way!) by both males and females, strangers and people I know) is a totally new life experience for me, that only started several DAYS ago...

I feel like a young teenage girl must feel, maybe slight embarassment, still "hiding" them some, but the "girls" keep getting just a little bigger and a little bigger, so it is just a harder harder to "hide" them each week now...

Breasts, to me, are the epitome of female-ness, at least physically.  Men don't have breasts, period.  Breasts are female.

Maybe this is in part why I have had 2 surprising "male fails" while presenting as male in the last few days, without makeup.

Another physical attribute that is SO feminine and important if one can do it, is HAIR, beautiful HAIR.  Nearly every cis female friend I have places a lot of attention to her hair...maintenance, and really keeping it beautiful...

Where I live in Latin America, probably on average the cis girls here try to look feminine even more so than in the USA and Canada or the U.K., for example...this includes her hair...

If in fact my ongoing longer and longer hair continues to develop as my natural light brown, flowing, with just a bit of curl and wave...wowowow will I continue to be an even happier girl!

Thank you, my family here...

Johanna.

I am female.

[JohannaJohn]

yea, your an extremely lucky woman . It took me 8 months before I could say I saw changes. Congratulations , your next 2 years should be an incredible ride.

Tbanks, Stephanie...you certainly look very female at this time!

Well, indeed, I guess if present changes to my body and mind continue, I guess the 'ride" during, as you say, maybe the 2 years or so, should be rather amazing...

Gender is such a fundamental human characteristic...maybe as much, or more so, than race or ethnic group, I am not sure about that one...but gender is just SO fundamental...

I am blssed that my beautiful princess 6 year old daughter accepts me, and love to paint my toenails beautiful bright red...my share this great activity together, as "mommy/daddy" -- "maddie" maybe? -- and daughter.

My daughter is beautiful enough that she could perhaps even be a child model right NOW...I don't know how her acting ability is it has never been evaluated professionally...but my daughter dances classical ballet great, modern dance great, and can sing decently, too (as I can, at least for the singing part...I don't dance well yet)...

My daughter has noticed my breasts in the last week, and has stared at them some, without commenting in words to me...

I am delighted that my genetic cis girlfriend, 26 and beautiful with 32B breasts that I want to "beat her" on (in other words, I want to have larger breasts than hers), says she might move in with me around the middle of August...well, girls, it is nearly August now...that is what she told her me a couple of days ago...

She is SO accepting of ME, as my true self, Johanna...she LOVES that I can FEEL her emotions so much better now, intuitively....

She likely even will be working for my partner and me, as a bookkeeper and salesperson...she just graduated with an associates degree in what they call here "archivos" in Spanish...which basically means recordkeeping, bookkeeping and accounts receivable and accounts payable we would probably say in English...plus she is really truly beautiful with a lovely personality, so we can probably use her in sales, too....

Hugs, my female friends family here,
Johanna.

[Kaylee Angelia]

Congratulations Johanna!

[JohannaJohn]

Thank you so much Michelle.  Or do you prefer Angelia?  I am not sure if Angelia is a first name or last name.

Today in a supermarket shopping alone, a woman about 35 or 38 behind me in the check out said, "Sir, can you help me put some of these heavy items in the basket" since her arms were full of groceries.  My hair is getting a little longer in natural light medium brown, but I was dressed as a male so that's okay.  No problem.

Some time soon (maybe within a few months or less), even if I am dressed in male clothes, I would hope that same woman might in the future register me a fellow woman, and realize she would be requesting help from a felllow female -- which is fine, too, but then I want her to call me "Ma'am" of course (in Spanish, since that is the language here).

So I got to be "gallant" as a gentleman another time.  Hey, that is just fine for now.

Since I am female, I hope that even if I am not dressed as a female exactly within a few months, that maybe good-looking gentlemen or younger adult boys might be gallant, and say, "Ma'am, may I help you with that?" which I think is one of the delights of being female.

Within a few months, when I am dressed as a female and my bra and breasts are totally obvious, I would hope that I would be treated gallantly by younger guys and older gentleman.



Johanna.

[Evelyn K]

Hugs to all, I AM FEMALE...

Gals, I am flabbergasted.  Stupendously surprised.  While presenting as male in a supermarket a couple of days ago, shopping with my 6 year old daughter in the Latin country where I live, I gave the "frequent shopper number" of my ex-wife the mother of my daughter to the 30 year female cashier to run through the computer so I could get the discounts -- my ex doesn't mind as it gives her extra points for free stuff...

The female cashier said in Spanish, the language here, "Mrs. Vicky -----, ma'am...omg, sir I am so sorry I thought you were Mrs. Vicky..."  Um, wow.  What can I say?
WOW AM I HAPPY!!!

OK I'm going to play devils advocate

Now hold on just a sec... you give the cashier (who might have glossed over you in brief, she see's hundreds of people a day) your ex-wife's frequent shopper code and a female name pops up on the screen and then addresses you in said name, then realizing you where not a Mrs. afterall = male fail?

I'm confused! I've experienced that once or twice borrowing a friends BJ's or Costco membership warehouse-club ID, but I never regarded that as male fail.

[JohannaJohn]

Hi Evelyn, Sure no problem to play devil's advocate.  Thanks for your thoughts.

Well, it did surprise me to have this happen twice in 2 or 3 days...

In both cases, the cashiers referred to me as "Mrs. Vicky" in the first case and "I have a woman here who needs an extra box of estradiol valerate...' when talking to a colleague at another store, in front of me.  The first cashier immediately corrected herself a i said, so it was only a "male fail" for about 3 seconds.  The second cashier called me "Sir" when speaking directly to me later in the conversation, but I would regard that as a partial "male fail" to have her refer to me as "a woman here (in front of her)" to her colleague on the phone.  Sure, when she was more careful, she said "Sir" directly to me.  But remember I am just 6 weeks plus into HRT, so even these partial "initially identifying me as female, then changing it shortly afterwards" is a great start that I definitely didn't expect, and should qualify as at least a partial "male fail", especially with the second cashier.

But, maybe the phrase "mail fail" has a more precise meaning in the trans community that I don't know yet, since I still new here?

Embraces,
Johanna.

[stephaniec]

take a look at all the " do I pass" section you'll get an Idea of male fail

[Jessica Merriman]

So when do we get to see a picture of you? 

[stephaniec]

So when do we get to see a picture of you? 

I second that

[LivingTheDream]

Third! Come on it is peer pressure now! No resisting that!!! 

[Evelyn K]

C'mon. You ppls already saw me up to bat.

Evelyn K is signed, cosigned and underwritten.

[Kaylee Angelia]

Thank you so much Michelle.  Or do you prefer Angelia?  I am not sure if Angelia is a first name or last name.

Actually Angelia is my first name and Michelle is my middle name and you're very welcome.

[Hikari]

I can relate, I just got a bank account and I was dressed "male" that is an old pair of slacks, and a t-shirt and no makeup, and the teller says "This woman wants to start an account can you help her Angela?" and the woman at the desk says yes, and then she is looking at me really hard while I am talking in my male voice (I was in my male presentation after all) and then, like well before we get to the point where she needs my ID she asks for it, and then looks at it really hard and said "Is [MALE NAME] you?"

lol I am kinda finding male fails pretty funny, I hope I don't have to deal with them anymore soon, but I say enjoy it while it lasts, I bet soon enough they won't ever think you could be male