I "failed as a male" twice this week, 6 1/2 week into HRT...INCREDIBLE!

[Evelyn K]

I can relate, I just got a bank account and I was dressed "male" that is an old pair of slacks, and a t-shirt and no makeup, and the teller says "This woman wants to start an account can you help her Angela?" and the woman at the desk says yes, and then she is looking at me really hard while I am talking in my male voice (I was in my male presentation after all) and then, like well before we get to the point where she needs my ID she asks for it, and then looks at it really hard and said "Is [MALE NAME] you?"

lol I am kinda finding male fails pretty funny, I hope I don't have to deal with them anymore soon, but I say enjoy it while it lasts, I bet soon enough they won't ever think you could be male

I actually FEAR those type of male fails when dealing with ID's! I mean what if one day I get frozen out of my bank account when trying to withdraw at a teller. I can imagine the headache.

[JohannaJohn]

I can relate, I just got a bank account and I was dressed "male" that is an old pair of slacks, and a t-shirt and no makeup, and the teller says "This woman wants to start an account can you help her Angela?" and the woman at the desk says yes, and then she is looking at me really hard while I am talking in my male voice (I was in my male presentation after all) and then, like well before we get to the point where she needs my ID she asks for it, and then looks at it really hard and said "Is [MALE NAME] you?"

lol I am kinda finding male fails pretty funny, I hope I don't have to deal with them anymore soon, but I say enjoy it while it lasts, I bet soon enough they won't ever think you could be male

Hikari, You definitely look more feminine than I do so far, so I am not surprised they could hardly believe that your male ID is valid.  I have only been on these powerful hormones for 6 and a half weeks, so it might be better to describe what has happened to me maybe not as a "full male fail" but maybe a "partial male fail" for just 5 seconds or 10 seconds or so.  But I must say this Hikari, these hormones are SO powerful, that probably in not too much longer, I will be at the stage YOU are now...

Because YOUR stage now is basically more advanced than mine.  My stage is something like "initial error" on the part of 2 different female 30-something cashiers, one in a supermarket and the other in a corner pharmacy.  But it is interesting that it didn't happen just once...it happened TWICE with 2 or 3 days.  Man, was I surprised...and delighted of course! 

Now, at YOUR stage, you are experiencing something close to total disbelief that you might be male.  Meaning, not just initial error like with my 2 very recent cashiers...and then both female cashiers "correcting" themselves after their initial assessment of me was "female."  With YOU, even after looking at you VERY closely and repeatedly, in male clothes with no makeup, they STILL could hardly believe you aren't female (as your ID states).  This is fantastic, Hikari...and I hope to be at YOUR stage soon.

All the best,
Johanna.

[JohannaJohn]

Well, gals, "peer pressure" lol, sure, sometime shortly I can show myself to you with a photo...

But first I have some questions...

Is it okay, for the moment, to show a photo with, say, my breast area with bikini?  I would expect that showing a naked small boob photo (of mine) would not be appropriate on this website...but am I allowed to post for you gals, a photo of just my breasts, covered?  In bra only, is appropriate, or not appropriate, for this website?

If bra only boob showing is not appropriate for this website, is a photo of my breasts and nipples in a tasteful bathing suit or bikini okay for this website?

I think I would be okay with posting for you gals a genuine photo of my breast area to show you my nice initial development there...

For my face, I think my eyes are more female already, and I hope for more change of my eyes, too.

Any facial acne is nearly totally...wow oh wow what a great side benefit of estrogen and progesterone in full doses!

I am thinking that for my face, maybe wait perhaps 4 more weeks to let our powerful E and P femininize my face a little more.

But for now, is there a tasteful way I can show my "girls" to you, while staying at the appropriate guidelines for this Website?  Do you gals have any ideas about this?

I don't want to wear any push-up bras for any posted photos here, because while push-up bras are fine for going out in public as I have many times, they aren't real "girls."

I only want to show REAL "girls" to you gals here.

Hugs,
Johanna.

I feel GREAT today.  I am SO thankful I have discovered how much my body and mind NEED estogen and progesterone.  You gals here, and info on some other Websites such as Tara's website, have been immensely helpful to discovering so much about ME.

[stephaniec]

well , no disrespect meant, but to be honest I don't think anybody particularly wants to see your breasts. Now maybe a full body shot

[JohannaJohn]

Ok, I thanks Stephanie, I will consider this...

Johanna.

[Evelyn K]

For my face, I think my eyes are more female already, and I hope for more change of my eyes, too.

Any facial acne is nearly totally...wow oh wow what a great side benefit of estrogen and progesterone in full doses!

I am thinking that for my face, maybe wait perhaps 4 more weeks to let our powerful E and P femininize my face a little more.

Just post your face here

Do I Look, or Could I Pass, as Female? 3.0
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,163371.0.html

It's not the fabulous thread or before and after where people are generally quite a bit further on their way. You have male fail already, so being that it is a question of "if I can...?" what's to feaaarrrr.....?

[Jessica Merriman]

No "girls" photos please. Just post an avatar like pic of you so we can see how wonderful you are doing.

[Jenna Marie]

I admit, I didn't personally believe I'd achieved male fail until the day I was in men's clothes with a giant hockey jersey hiding my figure, baseball cap, and best effort at male voice - and couldn't use my ID b/c "that isn't you." That was when I had to admit I couldn't backpass anymore.

Evelyn : It's a fair worry! I had trouble at a bank once (trying to deposit a tax refund that came in the old name 2 years later, argh) even with my *name change form*; she kept insisting that she didn't need me, she needed me to find MaleName, and flat out would not believe that we were the same person. I pointed to the form and how it had both names, and she hollered "you need your HUSBAND, honey!!" Finally a manager stepped in and it went smoothly from there, but I'm honestly not sure the teller ever figured out what was going on.

[JohannaJohn]

Hi Jenna, That is a great story about the clerk saying "you need your HUSBAND, honey!"

Great you have had these results.

I hope that is ME in the not too far future.



Johanna.

[Evelyn K]

I know you are going to be INCREDIBLE Johanna!

Actually we are all incredible!

[JohannaJohn]

I know you are going to be INCREDIBLE Johanna!

Actually we are all incredible!

Evelyn, so kind and positive these comments of yours!



I SO much hope so.

You know, Evelyn, more than just incredible...

We are all princesses, just like cis girls, even if (such as in my case) I have mostly hidden this for so many years.

Johanna is my true female self, and Johanna is losing her "Fear of Flying" -- to borrow a phrase and book title from Erica Jong, the female genius author of some years ago.

If any of you don't know who Erica Jong is, I recommend that you Google "Erica Jong" to see a genius totally female perspective into romance, sexuality, life, and relationships.  I have loved the works of Erica Jong since I was a rather effeminate 14 year old boy.

We are all princesses, just as is my beautiful long blond hair, model-like, super-intelligent, super popular, all-around "super" girl, my 6 near old daughter, Nicole.

Nicole and I often paint our toenails and fingernails together, it is a wonderful shared activity.  Maybe now I am her "Maddy" (Mommy-Daddy).  Nicole is SO accepting of me.  She teases me in a fun way about my bright red beautiful toenails.  This is wonderful for me...I feel SO happy!

Oh, girls, I have some important questions about hair.  I am not allowed to "double-post" here -- so if any of you gals are in position to help me out with some hair suggestions, I just posted my questions and details in the Beauty -- Fashion section of this Website.  You gals who have a lot more experience with transitioning to our true female selves than I have, would help me become as beautiful physically as I can!

Johanna.

[Evelyn K]

Hey Johanna! You're welcome! I checked out your hair thread. I noticed you really love to talk about your incredible developing nipples! I'm jealous!

I can't comment about the hair because I would need a photo reference with face.

Either way, you *are* INCREDIBLE!

INCREDIBLE INCREDIBLE INCREDIBLE !!!ONE!111!

[JohannaJohn]

Hey Johanna! You're welcome! I checked out your hair thread. I noticed you really love to talk about your incredible developing nipples! I'm jealous!

I can't comment about the hair because I would need a photo reference with face.

Either way, you *are* INCREDIBLE!

INCREDIBLE INCREDIBLE INCREDIBLE !!!ONE!111!

Yes, Evelyn, well what has happened since DAY 3...not weeks, not months, but DAYS...with my nipples is, that have stayed erect, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, since Day 3 of my HRT...they are a little sore sometimes, I have to be careful not to rub them when I am cleaning my underarms under the shower, because my nipplies and breasts are now super-duper-uper sensitive, and it really hurts a lot if someone accidentally runs into them, or my princess daughter 6 year old Nicole falls on top of me as we play, I have to now protect my breasts and nipples, as much as I have to protect my testicles, because a blow to, or scrubbing them, REALLY REALLY REALLY hurts wow I cannot believe it, I am having the same "problems" as cis genetic girls have.

My happiness level in over the moon.

Long live our beloved E and P!

Love,
Johanna.  My female emotions have come alive.  I am losing my "Fear of Flying" as a fearless female.

[JohannaJohn]

A week ago at the pool, even with my chest hairs 'hiding" things at the pool, several 9 year old girls were staring at my nipples and breasts, and smiling broadly at me.

If I fully shave off my chest hairs, they won't grow back I don't think, and forever at the pool, shirtless and braless, my nipples and breasts will be very obvious...

And this is NOW...imagine what this will be like in, say, 4 more weeks at the pool...especially if I have a hair-free chest at that time...

I may have to wear a one-piece or 2 piece "surfers" type outfit to hide my breasts....

At some point, probably I will simply "come out" as female at my apartment complex...

Joanna.

[Evelyn K]

Oh you seriously need to tell us more about your nipples! They sound very incredible!

Nipple male fail power!

[JohannaJohn]

Evelyn, I just almost teared up a little when thinking about your post and what power and contentment nipples are. OMG, this never has happened to me before during normal-types of discussions -- only during major events like death or a new baby or something major -- Evelyn, these mental changes -- I never imagined my mental changes would be so profound -- how can I explain that I would almost "tear up" a little when typing an answer to you here -- what is happening to me -- OMG is this amazing and great!



My eyes are a little moist right now -- OMG I cannot believe this --they are now more moist even as I type these words --

-- tears of happiness? maybe? -- I have seen this happens to many cis girls -- I cannot believe this -- what is happening to me? -- wow these emotions are amazing -- how can I describe them -- I will continue to try -- I never want to stop female hormones -- this is so amazing -- I am blessed -- now I FEEL who I really am -- OMG why are my eyes watering now -- I just had to wipe away some tears in my right eye --

I FEEL so feminine.  Yikes, something like this NEVER happened to me before HRT...

Yes, Evelyn, I am so stunned by my nipples.  OMG --- this is amazing...I am almost at a loss for the right words...

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Going into HRT, I read that many trans-girls don't get much "development" of their nipples and areolas...and that most of the "girls" development is outward push of the breasts in a somewhat "conical" or "tubular" fashion...

For me, it hasn't been happening this way at all.

For me, after the hormes sort of "shocked" my body in the first 24 hours...I think my body was truly overwhelmed by E and P during the first 24 hours...then the E and P started to do their magic on my body and mind on Day 3....yes DAY 3 not Week 3 not month 3 but Day 3...at least with regard to my nipples...

Tara's (you can Google her) great trans girl website describes HER personal experiences of becoming a girl years ago, long before Tara had full SRS....Tara describes how her nipples started being erect ALL THE TIME just 3 days in...just like mine...

So, Evelyn, I am not the only trans girl who has had this amazing nipple experience.

Wow, was I amazed Evelyn.  I couldn't really BELIEVE it, to be honest with you.  But the physical evidence was obvious.  I didn't have breasts of course 3 days in, but I had nipples that were tall, hard, and erect 24/7, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and they have stayed this way ever since...now going into Week 7 of my turning my body into a girl...

I mean, my mind couldn't believe it...

But I have eyes...I can see well...and I can process what my eyes can see...and my eyes saw tall, hard, erect nipples 24/7 staring on Day 3 of my HRT.

No sexual thrill, really...more like I felt I could nurse a baby...OMG did I just say that?  But it is true!

I STILL feel this way.

Evelyn, you asked me to talk more about my nipples...well, they are frequently sore...

I think they "want" to help my breasts grow some more immediately...

OMG I feel like a teenage girl...wow is this amazing...

I have white bumps all over my nipple "hills" and areolas...maybe these are milk ducts??? I dunno, but maybe.

My nipples, since about 4 weeks into HRT, have looked totally ready for a baby to nurse on them...

When my shirt is pulled tight, since about 5 weeks into HRT, my nipples are totally obvious, poking through my shirt.  I mean, I am not imagining this, because all I have to do is look down, I can see well, and my eyes see totally-obvious protruding nipples through my shirt.

Now, my breasts were not for sure until about a week ago, that is to day, 6 weeks into HRT...

Now, 7 weeks in, I have breasts.  They are real.  They are not BIG yet, but they are real, they are obvious to the many people staring at them (which I LOVE by the way)...

Because my breasts, though not big, are definitely real, they cause my nipples to protrude even more obviously poking through my shirt.

Because the simple "outward-push-volume" of my very feminine and round breasts simply is causing my nipples to push further outward, through my shirt...

My breasts are DEFINITELY bigger now than just one week ago...I didn't take any photos, but the difference is quite obvious.

Evelyn, I am seriously tempted very shortly to totally shave my chest hairs off, for forever, I would imagine, since I doubt they will ever grow back very much...even maybe as female-type soft hairs...I don't KNOW this to be honest since I haven't done this yet, but I would suspect this to be the case...

I wonder how people would react to me at the pool, shirtless, with a smooth hairless chest, say, in one week.

Evelyn, this might be a very delightful "adventure" in transitioning, to try...

Hugs,
Johanna.

[stephaniec]

Johanna you explain your transitioning so well, with such rapid development your nipples must be so incredibly painful. Mine stated being painful 1 week in and hasn't
stopped in 9 months.

[Evelyn K]

Evelyn, I just almost teared up a little when thinking about your post and what power and contentment nipples are. OMG, this never has happened to me before during normal-types of discussions -- only during major events like death or a new baby or something major -- Evelyn, these mental changes -- I never imagined my mental changes would be so profound -- how can I explain that I would almost "tear up" a little when typing an answer to you here -- what is happening to me -- OMG is this amazing and great!



My eyes are a little moist right now -- OMG I cannot believe this --they are now more moist even as I type these words --

OMG Your nipples are just so INCREDIBLE! I am tearing up right now, right this minute just thinking about the incredibleness of your nipples!!

[JohannaJohn]

Johanna you explain your transitioning so well, with such rapid development your nipples must be so incredibly painful. Mine stated being painful 1 week in and hasn't
stopped in 9 months.

Thank you so very much Stephanie, yes, this is true, I have always been great with strong writing skills.

I am also super with foreign languages.  I now speak fluent Spanish, as I have developed this skill while living in Latin American for the last 8 years.

Stephanie, I suppose it is pretty darn simple.  I am female.  And females -- I know it is a stereotype -- but many stereotypes have a basis in reality, at least partially --

Females frequently are better verbally.  I haven't lost my strong male math and analytical ability, at least not so far anyway...and my strong verbal abilities are still strong...

The NEW ability I have gained, is EMOTIONAL and INTUITIVE as a female.  I credit our beloved estrogen and progesterone for this.  I never have had this previously.

Hey, I am absolutely terrible as a mechanic.  But usually that is a male skill, and I am female.  The answer here is simple.

2 macho male Latin types, about 3 weeks ago, needed to enter my house to repair something in my electric power circuit in my kitchen.  Great handymen.

I was presenting male in my house at that moment -- but, OMG, I forgot that my toenails were painted bright beautiful red, they were looking so beautfiul then, but now I have bright red toenails with glitter/sparkle they are even prettier now --

But anyway, I was barefoot.  Wow, I forgot all about that as opened the door.  My 6 year old daughter Nicole was with me that day, too.

I didn't even remember that I was showing these 2 "macho" repairmen handyman my beautiful bright red toenails...OMG!

One of them said to the other in Spanish of course since that is the language here...

"He has his toenails painted bright red!"  The 2 macho men looked at each other in disbelief....I said nothing but felt, OMG! what have I done, because I wasn't ready to come out yet in that manner at my apt. building...

So, I let them into my kitchen to work on my electric box, and then I went into the bedroom and put on socks and shoes.  Not another word about this was spoken about my beautiful red toenails with the 2 men.

I suspect that maybe they told some of the rest of the all-male maintenance crew here about this, at my apt. building.  They still call me "Mr. John" -- John really is my male name, by the way -- but they seem to look at me a little different --

Hey, girls, the world didn't end...

I wasn't arrested...it is isn't illegal for a transgirl to show off bright red beautiful toenails...

I didn't get any nasty comments...

No one has called me gay...

People has looked at me a little curiously at the pool, since I to this point now have to always wear professional divers boots at the pool to "hide" my beautiful toenails...

Yes Evelyn they hurt a lot sometimes...

I have to be super careful nothing hits them now...if someone hits my nipples and breasts now, it feels like a blow to the testicles -- I mean, it REALLY hurts badly.

I touch my nipples a lot because they feel sort of "itchy" -- how can I describe this feeling -- it is definitely not sexual -- I have lost nearly all my erections -- yay!

But wow oh wow are they sensitive...

I cannot put a lot of direct pressure on my nipples with my fingers, because it hurts me so much...

Johanna.

[JohannaJohn]

OMG Your nipples are just so INCREDIBLE! I am tearing up right now, right this minute just thinking about the incredibleness of your nipples!!

< Kiss > and < Hug > to you Evelyn.

Johanna.