achievement #3: i was actually being compassionate and realize just how deep my loneliness is. seriously! usually i wont care about people nor would i want them around but now i would rather be surround by people. i hate noise or crowds. though its late, last week when i went on a surprise outing to NY and at the most crowded time of the day, at night, i felt that ping as if all the feeling of being alone just vanished. of course i blew it off and said i hate crowded noisy places but i was happy. ugh! you know, never make a wish because it always backfires. i wished that i could be in control and no matter what happens i wouldnt put myself back in the wallowing hole but geez, the backfire is i actually started caring. Blah! well thats it for my ranting. oh and forgot. i was walking home and i heard this kid yell at someone to let him in since they locked the door. i felt like i was about to call the police. not something i normally would do which is scaring me now
