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Even the strong have heartbreaks

Started by Jessica Merriman, August 16, 2014, 02:49:39 PM

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Shantel

Quote from: Myarkstir on August 23, 2014, 06:05:32 PM
Sounds familiar mine lasted 5.

Like Tony Soprano says, "What are you gonna do?"

Sometimes we have to play tough love right back at them.
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Just Shelly

I am so sorry to hear this!! :(

It seems that children especially girls always seem to give there biological mothers more respect and even love for that matter. Then on top of that "we" add our transition to the mix....For the most part it seems all people have a stronger connection with their mothers.....who doesn't love there mommy!! This doesn't mean that fathers can't or don't get the same respect and love from their children.....but it needs to be more earned than a natural given. This is one reason I wish I could of given birth to my children....its not the birth itself....its the natural connection.

My ex can't do anything wrong according to my children....and they fear and respect her 10 times more than I. Things only got worse with my transition.....I found out quite early that they were not allowed to call me mother because she didn't allow it, even though they would of been ok with it and understood the reasons behind it had nothing to do with me wanting to be their mother.

I do fear the future very much, I want to still be involved in my children's life so much, but feel they may do the same type things as your daughter. The thing is my ex has never been involved in there lives like I have....I refer to my children's connection with her as her Facebook kids....she posts so many wonderful pics of her and the kids to show all the people how wonderful of a mother she is, but doesn't do jack squat with them.....she wouldn't even be able to name one of my child's friends or teachers.

You have such a great attitude and outlook on this! I wish you nothing but the best outcome!! hugs!!! If you love someone....let them go! Ugh!! Such an easy thing to say........but do????
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luna nyan

Jessica,

Dangit.
I suppose it has to do with some of your religious background, but that really shouldn't be an excuse for her behaviour.

The part that hurts the most is the fact that the kids have been forced to take sides.  Your son is awesome in the fact that he's got a better head on the situation.

All I can do is offer a hug.  The hurt isn't going to go away that quickly. :(
Luna
Drifting down the river of life...
My 4+ years non-transitioning HRT experience
Ask me anything!  I promise you I know absolutely everything about nothing! :D
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JLT1

Jessica,

I am sorry that you are going through this.  Your response is wonderful and thank you for showing how these ugly situations need to be handled.  And hugs for your son by showing what love really is. 

Hugs girl,

Jen
To move forward is to leave behind that which has become dear. It is a call into the wild, into becoming someone currently unknown to us. For most, it is a call too frightening and too challenging to heed. For some, it is a call to be more than we were capable of being, both now and in the future.
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Shantel

It seems when the cis female spouse decides to pull the plug on the marriage that they almost always get ugly and vindictive and go to extremes creating hell on earth for their mate and go out of their way to poison the minds of the children against the father. It's as if there had never been any wedding vows, there had never been any good times, never any love and laughter shared, it's as if all the love and years of the husband's hard work to build financial success and support for her and the kids had never happened. How can a woman become so hateful when they made those vows? I believe that every married MtF transitioner here would have welcomed the support and would have stuck with their spouse even post-op until death parted them.

I was standing in line behind two pretty young women at Starbucks, one turned to the other and showed off her newly acquired engagement ring with a big diamond, amid the squeals of delight the only thing she said is, "He makes six figures, he will really be able to support me in style!" I didn't hear the word love or anything more about him, just that he made a lot of money. I felt like puking!
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Jess42

Quote from: Shantel on August 24, 2014, 10:21:36 AM
I was standing in line behind two pretty young women at Starbucks, one turned to the other and showed off her newly acquired engagement ring with a big diamond, amid the squeals of delight the only thing she said is, "He makes six figures, he will really be able to support me in style!" I didn't hear the word love or anything more about him, just that he made a lot of money. I felt like puking!

That is just really sad.
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