there are places online that are specifically for trans people and those who are specifically looking for a transwoman if you are pre op/non op , and I think that's a great way to meet people is online . I think you most definately must be honest if you still have a penis you DO need to let the other person know that right away and upfront right at the flirting stage really (and flirting IS intimacy) really if you are pre op or never intend to have SRS you have no business ever flirting with any heterosexual men so basically yes you do have to be honest with what sex organ you have down there right from the very very beginning you don't want to surprise anyone I think that goes without saying! if you haven't had surgery you will just attract gay men or those interested in transwomen specifically and they are easy enough to find online actually finding love online is becoming more common for everyone .
but for those who HAVE had surgery and are now a woman completely that's a different situation (or should be) if he cannot tell and would never otherwise know and society accepts you as a woman why you would bring that up? if your completely a woman identify as a woman , assimilate into womanhood , and just be happy at being a woman now including falling in love ... like the above poster said right up front you do not share every intimate or potentially embarrassing secret from your past which is just what it is . its unnecessary to not allow things to just evolve naturally and eventually will tell him but if you are post op I don't see the rush he is not going to tell you every bad thing that happened to him in his past it takes time to open up to people and trust them and then when you feel secure you reveal more about yourself that's what everyone does in all relationships so I guess it just really depends on how passable you are entirely if being trans is what you identify as then its a good idea to seek out men who are into that and are specifically seeking a transwoman. if you identify as a woman then just relax and be a woman that is the reason you had the surgery if you have had it is to live life as a woman so just be what you've worked so hard to become and now are don't be so focused on your past and mentally it is keeping you down and keeping you from just living life let yourself be happy if everyone sees you as a woman and you have become a woman then proceed as a woman does proceed in courtship . sometimes how we see ourselves is different from how the rest of the world sees us maybe the rest of the world sees you as woman but you yourself do not?
your mental self perception could be an issue and might not be aligned with what has become reality which is that you are now a woman but some might have self perception issues which is a whole different topic . this society recognizes 2 genders male or female (some societies recognize 3 or more genders) but if you are trying to be a 3rd gender in a 2 gender society just be aware that it is very antisocial and also counterculture at a very deep level , to identify as any kind of 3rd gender . of course you can always find like minded people online who are open to that so if you do insist on living as a 3rd gender in some form which you are doing by identifying not as a woman but as a trans the average person in any 2 gender society even people who are very open minded will have a difficult time accepting socially a 3rd gender because that is just something so fundamental in society you have become a person separate from society and a social outcast , if anyone want to do that they need to seek out those specifically attracted to your new and unique gender . if that's what you want to do and it makes you happy then sure do it but you cant expect the citizens in any 2 gender society to accept a strange new gender I think its very unlikely that any such society will become accepting of that even within cultures that are very tolerant so assume and expect to become somewhat of a social outcast if you choose to identify as separate from both genders but if you choose to live as a 3rd gender which you can if you want but it will be hard to find others who are within such a separate alternative counter culture . I think for the most part people want to be accepted by society as one of the two genders. if you set yourself up as being dramatically different than everyone else , despite the fact that other people see you as just a woman , then in time you will be seen as neither man or woman but as something completely different and if you do succeed at becoming separate from everyone you will likely find yourself in a very lonely place .
