Choosing your name?

[lilthumper]

I have really enjoyed listening to all of your stories.  Hopefully, we call all help all the lurkers on here who are struggling with the issue.  I know its major life decision and its a difficult one to make.  I'm fortunate that I found my name the way that I did.  If it wasn't for the good old search engine I don't know where I would be.  Thank you guys for sharing.

[Ayden]

My name was chosen for me. My husbands first crush and the name my grandfather used in the fairy tales he used to tell me are the same.

[lilthumper]

My name was chosen for me. My husbands first crush and the name my grandfather used in the fairy tales he used to tell me are the same.

Thank you for sharing your story.  Its wonderful you were able to have your name chosen for you.  I'm sure that your life easier in at least one way.

[Mumrik]

Hi all!

Well, my name choosing journey is a bit, uh, bumpy I guess. I've legally changed names 2 times already and is about to change it a 3:rd time. I was named Linda at birth, at 4 or 5 (when my parents had separated) my mom changed my name, with my consent, to Hedwig (it was before Harry Potter, I'm 26)...

This year I've had a complete meltdown, or nervous breakdown. Early in the spring I was a bit (to say the least) desperate to find out what the hell was wrong with me (I realised the whole trans* thing during this summer..) I've always changed styles, hair and so on, but as a reaction to the whole "who am I" thing I wen't a bit drastic and changed my name over night (litteraly) and shaved my head... I know... So, now I'm legally named Tashi which means "good fortune" or "auspiciousness" in Tibet. Haha  It's good that I have my kind of humor, I think my reaction to "I don't know who I am" was quite hillarious! Well, at least it's kind of a unisex name.

Anyways. Now that I know I'm trans* I'm going to choose a name that's a bit more me. And give it a bit more thought this time, not come up with a name and pay and send in the papers that same evening.  This time I've decided that I'm to wait with changing it legally untill earliest in december.

Now I've been making a list of names with 3 criterias. I have to like the name, how it sounds, how it goes with my last name and so on. I want it to work as a gender neutral name. I want it to sound a reasonably normal and "at home" in the part of the world I live (northen europe).

So far Mumrik is the one that feels best, it's not the most beautiful name, it's inspired from a male character in a childerns book and it's quite unusuall. But it feels like me, and it works better than Tashi in my criterias. Oh, btw, Mumrik is a variation on the Swedish name for the character Snufkin, his full name in the storys are Snusmumriken.

Names, names, names... I'm starting to feel a bit self consious about this changing about. I'm at university and during my first year I was called up as Hedwig, this year Tashi and next year something new. My classmates and teatchers must think I'm completly nuts! They're probably right though. Well, the most important thing is to do what feels right inside, not what others think. 

With love to all, good luck with your name picking!

[Ayden]

Thank you for sharing your story.  Its wonderful you were able to have your name chosen for you.  I'm sure that your life easier in at least one way.

I actually preferred it simply because, as a writer, I love too many names. But, I also attach a lot if characteristics to names based on the stories I write. I haven't legally changed my name yet due to visa stuff, but even if I wanted to now, it's pretty stuck. I like my name fine; it's not my favorite name, but it's one that has positive memories behind it and its comfortable.

Of course, I most go by "A". When I was a kid my parents always called me "E" and mom still does. I kinda got used to being a letter, what with six kids in the house. Lol.

[lilthumper]

Hi all!

Well, my name choosing journey is a bit, uh, bumpy I guess. I've legally changed names 2 times already and is about to change it a 3:rd time. I was named Linda at birth, at 4 or 5 (when my parents had separated) my mom changed my name, with my consent, to Hedwig (it was before Harry Potter, I'm 26)...

This year I've had a complete meltdown, or nervous breakdown. Early in the spring I was a bit (to say the least) desperate to find out what the hell was wrong with me (I realised the whole trans* thing during this summer..) I've always changed styles, hair and so on, but as a reaction to the whole "who am I" thing I wen't a bit drastic and changed my name over night (litteraly) and shaved my head... I know... So, now I'm legally named Tashi which means "good fortune" or "auspiciousness" in Tibet. Haha  It's good that I have my kind of humor, I think my reaction to "I don't know who I am" was quite hillarious! Well, at least it's kind of a unisex name.

Anyways. Now that I know I'm trans* I'm going to choose a name that's a bit more me. And give it a bit more thought this time, not come up with a name and pay and send in the papers that same evening.  This time I've decided that I'm to wait with changing it legally untill earliest in december.

Now I've been making a list of names with 3 criterias. I have to like the name, how it sounds, how it goes with my last name and so on. I want it to work as a gender neutral name. I want it to sound a reasonably normal and "at home" in the part of the world I live (northen europe).

So far Mumrik is the one that feels best, it's not the most beautiful name, it's inspired from a male character in a childerns book and it's quite unusuall. But it feels like me, and it works better than Tashi in my criterias. Oh, btw, Mumrik is a variation on the Swedish name for the character Snufkin, his full name in the storys are Snusmumriken.

Names, names, names... I'm starting to feel a bit self consious about this changing about. I'm at university and during my first year I was called up as Hedwig, this year Tashi and next year something new. My classmates and teatchers must think I'm completly nuts! They're probably right though. Well, the most important thing is to do what feels right inside, not what others think. 

With love to all, good luck with your name picking!

You have had a very interesting journey with names and I'm happy that you decided to share it with all of us.  I wish I knew of name suggestions for you but I don't.  Hopefully, another will be able to help you along.  I'm sure you are self conscience about all the different names that you have used during university and/or will use.  Please remember at the end of the day I think we are all nuts so you are never alone.  I'm sorry about you having a meltdown but hopefully you are getting to a place in your life where things are getting better for you.

I actually preferred it simply because, as a writer, I love too many names. But, I also attach a lot if characteristics to names based on the stories I write. I haven't legally changed my name yet due to visa stuff, but even if I wanted to now, it's pretty stuck. I like my name fine; it's not my favorite name, but it's one that has positive memories behind it and its comfortable.

Of course, I most go by "A". When I was a kid my parents always called me "E" and mom still does. I kinda got used to being a letter, what with six kids in the house. Lol.

My birth initials were CED and my initials once I have my name change sometime between September and January will be TJD (Once I file the name change it has to run in the newspaper for 3 weeks and then a month has to go by before it can become finalized).  I decided to go with the name across from my birth name for males for the year I was born because that honestly was the easiest thing for me to choose to do.  For my middle name I decided to go a good old google search for middle names.  I decided to go the simple route because I didn't know what to choose for my name and I didn't want to spend anymore time with this nasty name that I absolutely had to.  I'm actually going to start a blog up and document my journey.  My mom still calls me my birth name because I just recently decided my male name so I know she's not exactly going to be able to make the change overnight.  I'm sorry your still having to being called "E".

[Ayden]

  I'm sorry your still having to being called "E".

Oh no, I don't what to give the impression that I hate it at all. "E" is the family letter. My great grandfather, grandfather and mother all have the same initial. I live in Osaka so it's easier for my students to just call me by a letter or by "nii-Nii" or "Oniichan" (both are big brother)

I don't mind being called by letters. Even though my husband picked my name I typically go by "sweetie" "honey" or "A"

[lilthumper]

Oh no, I don't what to give the impression that I hate it at all. "E" is the family letter. My great grandfather, grandfather and mother all have the same initial. I live in Osaka so it's easier for my students to just call me by a letter or by "nii-Nii" or "Oniichan" (both are big brother)

I don't mind being called by letters. Even though my husband picked my name I typically go by "sweetie" "honey" or "A"

Sorry for my confusion.  Thank you for explaining everything to me!

[Felix]

Cole isn't that common but it is a famous name via Cole Sprouse.

My first thought was Cole Porter. He's definitely the only Cole I've ever even heard of, but that probably has a ton to do with location and age.

The name stories in this thread are interesting. I think I'd like to emphasize that enjoying one's name is usually more important than how anyone else on earth will ever feel about it. Liking your name can fuel a lot of endurance through questions or reactions.

[Maleth]

Oddly enough I got my name, Leo, many many years ago. I played a game that required a first and last name (fictional, of course) and it was kind of a kiddish game but it was a long time ago. That game has closed down already anyways. But my character's name was Leonardo, and that was my first major MMO that I ever played so I got very used to being called "Leo" and "Leon". It's just stuck with me and my name will always be a reminder of the friendships I made on that game as well as a few other MMOs (I began to use Leonardo as a firstname/username for all my other MMOs so it was quite widespread for me). Kind of cool. Oddly enough that first MMO is where I met my current girlfriend and before dating we have been super close friends since we met on it.

[devention]

I picked my first name because I knew that was what my parents would name me if I'd been born with male bits. My middle name was a toss up between Richard (my dad's name) and James (his middle name). I ended up going with James because it sounds better. It also just so happens to be the middle name I was going to be given if I'd been born with the right parts. I'm certain my mom never told me that part, but I just happened to choose it.
I'm becoming an amalgamation of all three of my parents and it scares me x.x

[Algernon]

I only began to question my gender last year, and am still not entirely sure of it. I like to be called by my male name, Algernon (although most insist on calling me by my female name, as I'm nowhere near passing as male at the moment; I have only come out to a few people). I know Algernon is an unusual and rather old-fashioned name, but I like it. It's quite humorous - it's Old French for 'with a moustache'. My mother once jokingly called me Algy after the character from 'The Importance of Being Earnest', and the name stuck...

[JHeron]

I personally am disconnected from my father so I had to pick a last name as well and I  not ashamed to say I was a geek and chose a surname from a family in my favorite book series and cut it half added an extra letter and voila Herron. I always liked the name Jameson particularly the nickname and my given name started with a J as well so just put that together, felt right. Idk I'm a true believer in going with your gut so I think when you see it you'll know. Best of luck!

[Greeneyedrebel]

I worked at a summer camp through high school and college, and there was this one camper there that never failed to inspire me. She was born deaf, but even by the age of 10 had learned to read lips so well that she could follow a multi-person conversation at regular speed and never miss a word. She also taught many of us staff the version of sign language (cued speech) that she was accustomed to. This kid never missed a beat, was by far the happiest camper I ever met, and seemed to always just KNOW when another kid needed a friend.

She would usually come for the entire summer too, so there was plenty of time to get to know her. All in all, I worked with this kid for 7 summers straight. Her name was Aaron (yep...the male spelling) and I learned from her that we are only as different as we decide to be in any given situation. That's a lesson that has served me well in life, especially in transition. So My name is Aaron James......Aaron for that inspiration, and James....because.

In the past few months I found her on Facebook (I use the initials AJ there), and asked if she remembered <my camp nickname>. She did, but she didn't remember my "real name" from back then. So I reintroduced myself, and ended up telling her about myself. You would think I had just giver her a billion dollars and granted every wish she could ever dream of......she was THAT touched.

Anyway, I guess you could say my name chose me in the end.

[adrian]

I still think of the name I'm using here as "preliminary", but it may well turn out to be "my" name. I wanted to keep my initials, I wanted a name that was easy to pronounce in both English and my mother tongue, and I wanted a name that wasn't too uncommon. I ended up browsing baby name pages and looking for a name that felt about right. It wasn't too difficult because I knew I could try this out online and still change it if it didn't work. But now I'm finding I have grown quite used to it already. I haven't tried it out irl yet though

[JJones]

Ive know for a good couple of years i wanted to start transitioning and so have been thinking about my name since then, i just had to keep going through names to see if they felt right. Although there are a lot of male names i like, i didnt feel like they were me. Then my friend was going through names with me and mentioned Jack. I palmed it off at first, but it stuck in my head and i knew that was the right name for me. I am keeping my family name for my surname, and have yet to think of a middle name, either the name my parents would have given me had i been born a boy, or i will take my dads or grandads name as a middle name.

Either way, when picking your name, you shouldn't worry if other people are going to like it as long as it sits right with you

[Dalex]

Well, my name in a sense just found me I think. As a kid though, it changed almost every time I moved. If there was someone in the near by neighborhood who gendered me as male I would give a male name. The first name was Lárus, and Icelandic name I had seen in a movie and I only really choice it since my given name starts with an L. That was when I was about six turning seven. Later in my early teens it changed to Devon, a name my friend gave me. She is actually still my friend today and when she saw me after I accepted myself as trans, she just smiled and said "Well, looks like Devon is back" but now I'm side tracking a bit here.
When I was about 19 or so I started playing world of warcraft almost full blown and I was a roleplayer. What a perfect way to escape from my birth sex but to go onto a virtual world where I could be anyone, who ever and what ever. So, I played a blood elf male, two actually, but the nickname in game that really stuck was Dalex, short for Dalexandros. I had been called Dalex for I think three to four years before I came out. During that time when I was called Dalex, I always thought it would sound kind of cool as short for David Alexander, and mentally it really stuck and it runs really well with the two family names I got in my name. Then I tested it out, started introducing myself as David, and everyone who has heard it tell me the name David suits me Not sure if I can say the name found me, but it still feels like it did.

[AquaWhatever]

My name was actually gonna be called Dave. Because I wanted to be named after my dad.
So David Jr. But my dad really hates his name.
So he suggested Dylan. I liked the name a lot as well and we all have D's in our names.
Except my mom.

[lilthumper]

Thank you guys for continuing to share you stories with not only each other but me as well.  Sorry for the long reply but I want to make sure I address all the guys who responded.

My name was actually gonna be called Dave. Because I wanted to be named after my dad.
So David Jr. But my dad really hates his name.
So he suggested Dylan. I liked the name a lot as well and we all have D's in our names.
Except my mom.

I think its really neat that you all have Ds in your names except for your mom.

Well, my name in a sense just found me I think. As a kid though, it changed almost every time I moved. If there was someone in the near by neighborhood who gendered me as male I would give a male name. The first name was Lárus, and Icelandic name I had seen in a movie and I only really choice it since my given name starts with an L. That was when I was about six turning seven. Later in my early teens it changed to Devon, a name my friend gave me. She is actually still my friend today and when she saw me after I accepted myself as trans, she just smiled and said "Well, looks like Devon is back" but now I'm side tracking a bit here.
When I was about 19 or so I started playing world of warcraft almost full blown and I was a roleplayer. What a perfect way to escape from my birth sex but to go onto a virtual world where I could be anyone, who ever and what ever. So, I played a blood elf male, two actually, but the nickname in game that really stuck was Dalex, short for Dalexandros. I had been called Dalex for I think three to four years before I came out. During that time when I was called Dalex, I always thought it would sound kind of cool as short for David Alexander, and mentally it really stuck and it runs really well with the two family names I got in my name. Then I tested it out, started introducing myself as David, and everyone who has heard it tell me the name David suits me Not sure if I can say the name found me, but it still feels like it did.

Maybe the right now found you but there is always time to think and reflect on it.  I wish you the best on it!

Ive know for a good couple of years i wanted to start transitioning and so have been thinking about my name since then, i just had to keep going through names to see if they felt right. Although there are a lot of male names i like, i didnt feel like they were me. Then my friend was going through names with me and mentioned Jack. I palmed it off at first, but it stuck in my head and i knew that was the right name for me. I am keeping my family name for my surname, and have yet to think of a middle name, either the name my parents would have given me had i been born a boy, or i will take my dads or grandads name as a middle name.

Either way, when picking your name, you shouldn't worry if other people are going to like it as long as it sits right with you

I really like the name Jack!  My cousins sons name is that!  I don't know his middle name or I would mention it here.

I still think of the name I'm using here as "preliminary", but it may well turn out to be "my" name. I wanted to keep my initials, I wanted a name that was easy to pronounce in both English and my mother tongue, and I wanted a name that wasn't too uncommon. I ended up browsing baby name pages and looking for a name that felt about right. It wasn't too difficult because I knew I could try this out online and still change it if it didn't work. But now I'm finding I have grown quite used to it already. I haven't tried it out irl yet though

I'm glad you found something that you like so far!

I worked at a summer camp through high school and college, and there was this one camper there that never failed to inspire me. She was born deaf, but even by the age of 10 had learned to read lips so well that she could follow a multi-person conversation at regular speed and never miss a word. She also taught many of us staff the version of sign language (cued speech) that she was accustomed to. This kid never missed a beat, was by far the happiest camper I ever met, and seemed to always just KNOW when another kid needed a friend.

She would usually come for the entire summer too, so there was plenty of time to get to know her. All in all, I worked with this kid for 7 summers straight. Her name was Aaron (yep...the male spelling) and I learned from her that we are only as different as we decide to be in any given situation. That's a lesson that has served me well in life, especially in transition. So My name is Aaron James......Aaron for that inspiration, and James....because.

In the past few months I found her on Facebook (I use the initials AJ there), and asked if she remembered <my camp nickname>. She did, but she didn't remember my "real name" from back then. So I reintroduced myself, and ended up telling her about myself. You would think I had just giver her a billion dollars and granted every wish she could ever dream of......she was THAT touched.

Anyway, I guess you could say my name chose me in the end.

Awesome story bro and thanks for sharing!!  I'm glad you were able to reunite with her.

I personally am disconnected from my father so I had to pick a last name as well and I  not ashamed to say I was a geek and chose a surname from a family in my favorite book series and cut it half added an extra letter and voila Herron. I always liked the name Jameson particularly the nickname and my given name started with a J as well so just put that together, felt right. Idk I'm a true believer in going with your gut so I think when you see it you'll know. Best of luck!

Honestly there is no right way to chose a name you have to do one that feels right to you and is one that you can live with.

I only began to question my gender last year, and am still not entirely sure of it. I like to be called by my male name, Algernon (although most insist on calling me by my female name, as I'm nowhere near passing as male at the moment; I have only come out to a few people). I know Algernon is an unusual and rather old-fashioned name, but I like it. It's quite humorous - it's Old French for 'with a moustache'. My mother once jokingly called me Algy after the character from 'The Importance of Being Earnest', and the name stuck...

What matters is that your happy with whatever name that you choose.  Names which your able to form a connection with are the ones that your going to like and will be able to withstand the test of time.

I picked my first name because I knew that was what my parents would name me if I'd been born with male bits. My middle name was a toss up between Richard (my dad's name) and James (his middle name). I ended up going with James because it sounds better. It also just so happens to be the middle name I was going to be given if I'd been born with the right parts. I'm certain my mom never told me that part, but I just happened to choose it.
I'm becoming an amalgamation of all three of my parents and it scares me x.x

I loved reading your story it made me laugh at the end.  Maybe your name will bring you closer to them?

Oddly enough I got my name, Leo, many many years ago. I played a game that required a first and last name (fictional, of course) and it was kind of a kiddish game but it was a long time ago. That game has closed down already anyways. But my character's name was Leonardo, and that was my first major MMO that I ever played so I got very used to being called "Leo" and "Leon". It's just stuck with me and my name will always be a reminder of the friendships I made on that game as well as a few other MMOs (I began to use Leonardo as a firstname/username for all my other MMOs so it was quite widespread for me). Kind of cool. Oddly enough that first MMO is where I met my current girlfriend and before dating we have been super close friends since we met on it.

That is awesome bro about what transpired!!

[VictorHbx]

I decided to go by the name Victor since I was calling myself Victoria as a nickname before coming out as trans,since my actual birth name is somehow linked to a series of erotic-ish movies in my country and that was not easy when I was a teen... thank you very much parents 
Initially I wanted them to choose for me as a sign of acceptance but I figured out they weren't too comfortable with it and probably would have chosen something too different again anyways ! Nothing against original names but I think I've got my share of originality in my life already haha.