Chivalry Is Not Dead

[ZeldaHeartLove]

When I had to pass through a security thing, a man picked up my coat and put it in for me.  When I worked as a waitress, I wasn't allowed to leave at night without walking to my car with another person. After a job interview, it was raining, and a man held his umbrella over me until I got to my boyfriend's car.  I've been offered many more rides than when I was an androgynous teenager... Hmm, that's about it!

[Misato]

I do like it when men hold the door for me.

I also hold the door for men when I get the chance.

I mean, doesn't every guy deserve to be treated like a prince every now and then?

Make a guy feel like a prince. I love it!

I have some extreme feminists in my group of friends who would take issue with the idea of chivalry. We were going through a double set of doors once and a guy held the first set for one of those friends of mine. She dashed ahead to the second and said, "I can hold doors too".

I have had guys sprint ahead to hold doors for me. I'm routinely granted first off privilege from the elevator. Only very rarely do I get grumpy over the treatment as my friend did. I do think she's on to something though. As a society chivalry is something we do for women but deny men. That does have shades of sexism to my eye. So! Holding a door open for a guy as a quotidian matter or so he can enjoy some regal feelings too, I think it's only fair.

[Hideyoshi]

---k chivalry and ---k the patriarchy.

I know. It's so oppressive with all the awful micro-aggressions that men do to hold us down.  How dare they hold the door open for us (physically weaker gender) or put a coat around us (we get colder easier) or even smile at us. This has nothing to do with hundreds of thousands of years of behavior honed by sexual dimorphism and everything to do with female oppression

[pretty pauline]

So I'm just following up on my last reply to a different thread, as I believe that every girl deserves to be treated like a princess every now and then.  It's the little things like "holding a door open, pulling a chair out, giving a flower, having a coat placed around us".  It's these little gestures of kindness that make us smile, blush, and weak.  Yes we may be capable of doing things for our self, but when a man goes out of his way to show his chivalry, it means more then words.

So how many of you have experienced the chivalrous things that guys do for woman?

I went shopping in the sales today, laden down with bags, but when I got on the train it was full, I was exhausted, but a super sweet guy gave up his seat, he must have seen a ''lady in distress'' it was 1 of those days, my feet in my heels where killing me, I smiled and thanked him, he took my bags and put them on the overhead bag rack, he really went out of his way to show his chivalry, if I'm honest, yes it was nice, it made me blush, and it is nice to meet a gentleman that has a respect for me as a woman.

[Peebles]

I just find it annoying. Didn't open doors for women before, don't expect doors to open for me now.

ying - yang or what not, ->-bleeped-<-s all around 

[JustASeq]

Unfortunately, chivalry is not dead. Because of this it continues to perpetuate sexism and the exploitation of women.

[monica93304]

My thoughts exactly girl! I love it because it reinforces my femininity and makes me feel all gushy inside. It is also a very firm confirmation that I am looked at and acknowledged as a woman. I have had men put those big heavy (giggle) bags of dog food in my cart or carry them out for me. When something chivalrous happens I am just thrilled. 

I'm with both of you.  There's a guy that I chit chat with at the bar from time to time and he makes a point to open the door for me every time.  He gets mad if I beat him to the door.  Another man who is in the middle of his divorce buys me a drink every time. We shoot pool together, and he calls me "baby".   I absolutely love that. It's something I've wanted my whole life, and now it's happening on a daily basis. 

[monica93304]

I do not either, but I thrive on the attention myself. There is no harm in letting them feel good about themselves for helping me out. I find the politeness very sexy and admirable in this day and age. I am very girly femme so maybe this is why I like it.

yes girl!  I'm with you. 

I think we need to take a poll on this topic.  I wonder how many of women that don't like chivalry are actually lesbians vs those of us that consider ourselves straight women. I would say that most of us that are straight actually welcome chivalry in its simple form.

[JustASeq]

I think we need to take a poll on this topic.  I wonder how many of women that don't like chivalry are actually lesbians vs those of us that consider ourselves straight women. I would say that most of us that are straight actually welcome chivalry in its simple form.

When is it okay for a straight person to ostracize a non-hetero person?

Just saying, I like men and women and non-binary people. I am pan-sexual personally and identity and/or assignment mean nothing to me when it comes to a partner. I am a queer woman, but that does not make my opinion about chivalry any more or less valid.

[monica93304]

I see your point.  Not trying to offend.  Just trying to get perspective.  I figured that's where you were coming from.  Doesn't make your point or my point wrong.  It's a matter of preference. 

[lindagrl]

i hold doors and elevators open for anyone and wait for them too, but rarely is it done for me, until lately that is now that i am presenting my femininity.
At Christmas i got the car stuck over a high mound of ice, it was see sawing and with my wife at the wheel i tried but could not budge it.
Before i knew it a strong helpful man was at my side offering his assistance. Before we started pushing he smiled at me and said be careful now
when we push, it´s slippery. i do believe i blushed a bit and as he put in 90% of the effort needed, the care moved free. He received my loveliest smile.
i really like it now that men move ahead of me to hold the door when i attempt to do it.  i am pre hrt so that makes me doubly appreciative,
it tells me that some men see me as a woman already, which is simply the best feeling in the world to me.

[BunnyBee]

I appreciate politeness and kindness from all genders, but do not appreciate when I am made to feel like an object or property.

I do very much hate the ladies first thing because I would very much rather have a man I don't know in front of me where I can see him.

I am straight, also a feminist, also dislike the concept of chivalry.

[pretty pauline]

I do not either, but I thrive on the attention myself. There is no harm in letting them feel good about themselves for helping me out. I find the politeness very sexy and admirable in this day and age. I am very girly femme so maybe this is why I like it.

I absolutely agree, a few months ago I was on the same train, when I met a lady with a young boy, she said to her young son, have a little manners and let the lady have the seat, the youngster wasn't happy, but this was his mother (not his father) teaching him at a very young age to respect women, he'll probably grow up being a gentleman.
I do like the attention, if a guy feels good being a gentleman and treating me like a lady, yes it's nice, I'm worth it. A cab driver resently turning up the heat in his cab because he thought myself and sister-in-law where cold, well I was freezing and it was nice of him to notice 2 freezing girls in the back seat of his cab, ''are you warm enough ladies''  I thought it was very considered, it's nice there are still gentlemen who have a gentlemen respect for women.

[pretty pauline]

At Christmas i got the car stuck over a high mound of ice, it was see sawing and with my wife at the wheel i tried but could not budge it.
Before i knew it a strong helpful man was at my side offering his assistance. Before we started pushing he smiled at me and said be careful now
when we push, it´s slippery. i do believe i blushed a bit and as he put in 90% of the effort needed, the care moved free. He received my loveliest smile.
i really like it now that men move ahead of me to hold the door when i attempt to do it.  i am pre hrt so that makes me doubly appreciative,
it tells me that some men see me as a woman already, which is simply the best feeling in the world to me.

You go girl, it's a great feeling, getting help from a big strong helpful man, blushing and giving that loveliest smile, it's worked magic for me over the years, times like that, it really is just nice being a girl.

[Zoetrope]

Oh wow, I love this thread!

Yeah, I really really like receiving this kind of treatment. But I guess my personality is also super-femme.

Even if its just convention, even if its just a handful of well-trained men ... I love it :~]

[Zoetrope]

Once my bus pulled up too far away from the kerb. I went to get off in my heels.

I missed the step entirely, and went down like a sack of potatoes.

Immediately, three men ran over to pick me up off the ground.

I *REALLY* liked that :~] I'll go so far as to day it made my day!

[monica93304]

Once my bus pulled up too far away from the kerb. I went to get off in my heels.

I missed the step entirely, and went down like a sack of potatoes.

Immediately, three men ran over to pick me up off the ground.

I *REALLY* liked that :~] I'll go so far as to day it made my day!
[/quote




I bet it did Sarah

[Elsa Delyth]

Not like I've experienced it myself, but I too would find it demeaning, and creepy. I hold the door for people when I'm going into places, but don't open it for them. You do also realize that when guys hold open doors for one and other they often say "ladies first" as a derogatory remark towards each other.

I have no appreciation for gestures from the "stronger sex". 

[Irva]

No idea what's wrong, but tho I have true, attractive, 100% usual female, European and blond look... but it seems that I started to hate men and they hate me. No holding of the doors for me, really nothing significant else... It's even not funny, but rather scary. Like mysticism - why so? Pity that I am still attracted sexually to men and respect them very much, but they do not appreciate it - why? And emotionally I am attracted more to women. A strange situation hmmm....

[Zoetrope]

Welll ... I didn't find being picked up off the bitumen to be demeaning. I'd have been offended if I was just left there, definitely! :~o