Why? (Possibly Triggering/Depressing)

[PhoenixAsher]

Why was I born like this—a prisoner in my own body, a foreigner in my own home? Why can't I change? Why does everyone judge me for something I can't change? Why can't I stop judging myself?

Everything about me is wrong: my gender, my sexuality, my dream career. It all seems so hopeless.

I am getting closer to the age that I can finally make my own decisions, but everything still seems so far away. I still feel so distant.

What's the point? Why am I even here now?

[Rachel]

Phoenix, hugs

I know being so close to being able to make your own decision is difficult. I know what it feels like when everything feels wrong. It hurts.

What can you do now to feel more comfortable? What steps will be needed for your decisions to materialize? List them and make a time line, then execute the plan. Point being now is a good time to plan and have all the information and data done so the day you can make a decision can be the day of many in your plan.

[PhoenixAsher]

I am turning 18, thus decision-making age, in 9 days. The time is very close, yet it seems further than ever. I am afraid to come out to my family and friends and I told myself I would by now, but I can't. I just feel hopeless. I don't want to spend one more day like this. I just want them to see me as the guy I see myself as.