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Why? (Possibly Triggering/Depressing)

Started by PhoenixAsher, October 05, 2014, 05:20:34 PM

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PhoenixAsher

October 05, 2014, 05:20:34 PM
Why was I born like this—a prisoner in my own body, a foreigner in my own home? Why can't I change? Why does everyone judge me for something I can't change? Why can't I stop judging myself?

Everything about me is wrong: my gender, my sexuality, my dream career. It all seems so hopeless.

I am getting closer to the age that I can finally make my own decisions, but everything still seems so far away. I still feel so distant.

What's the point? Why am I even here now?
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Rachel

#1
October 05, 2014, 06:01:13 PM
Phoenix, hugs

I know being so close to being able to make your own decision is difficult. I know what it feels like when everything feels wrong. It hurts.

What can you do now to feel more comfortable? What steps will be needed for your decisions to materialize? List them and make a time line, then execute the plan. Point being now is a good time to plan and have all the information and data done so the day you can make a decision can be the day of many in your plan.
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
  •  

PhoenixAsher

#2
October 05, 2014, 06:22:48 PM
I am turning 18, thus decision-making age, in 9 days. The time is very close, yet it seems further than ever. I am afraid to come out to my family and friends and I told myself I would by now, but I can't. I just feel hopeless. I don't want to spend one more day like this. I just want them to see me as the guy I see myself as.
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