Quote from: Tysilio on November 07, 2014, 01:18:54 PM
But none of those are what I actually think about those particular pictures. My comment wasn't intended as mockery, just as a vivid description of my own observation/opinion.
Whether it was
intended as mockery doesn't change that it is unnecessarily hurtful. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but not every opinion simply must be published, for all to see, without any editing or consideration for others. Especially on a support forum. I hold some opinions that would be offensive to some folks on here, but it's not necessary or helpful in any way for me to post them here, so I do not post them here.
Here's my observation: the last time I saw a description like that of FTM bottom surgery results, it was in a rather vulgar, anti-trans article. Take from that what you will. What I take from it, is that it is not the sort of comment well-suited to a transsexual support group.
Quote from: Tysilio on November 07, 2014, 01:18:54 PM
It's interesting to me that the unfortunate "politically correct" ethos of never criticizing, of never speaking difficult truths in case unspecified people might have their feelings hurt, has carried over so strongly from doctrinaire PC feminism to trans politics. And, yes, I do see this as a political issue, to the extent that one set of people are claiming, in effect, the power to silence others.
Unspecified people? These are not hypothetical persons made up to discuss politics. Behind every surgical result photo, there is an actual human being. That picture is of part of their body.
I expressed disapproval of an unnecessarily crude comment on bottom surgery results, which was posted on a support board sub-forum dedicated to bottom surgery. I offered examples of more respectful ways of expressing dislike for surgical results - effectively
encouraging you to express dislike for results, since I was providing suggestions for more ways to do that. You have likened that to trying to silence you, and censor your thoughts to preserve the feelings of unspecified persons.
Quote from: Tysilio on November 07, 2014, 01:18:54 PM
Had you responded with something like: "Tysilio, it could be that pictures showing results after the surgical process is farther along might change your mind about the aesthetics of this procedure," that would have been a fine way of expressing your disagreement with my opinion, and for us to have an actual conversation; but I think it's pretty "disrespectful" for you tell me what I should have said, and thus, in effect, what I should think.
Show me where I said you "should" have done anything, much less told you what to think.
Quote from: blink on November 07, 2014, 11:04:43 AM
For one, bottom-op result photos are often not "finished" - possibly not fully healed, may be pre-glansoplasty (a good glansoplasty can make a major difference in aesthetics), etc.
Regardless, if you don't find the results to your personal preference, there are ways to express that without so much disrespect.
Couple of quick examples, "The results aren't to my personal preference", "Interesting, but it's not for me", or even something in the vein of, "It's good to see there are surgeons working on creating more options for trans men".
Those are real people's bodies you're talking about. It takes guts to share something so personal with the internet. It's quite possible some of them read these forums, and even if that's not the case, not cool. Small wonder so few bottom-op guys share their results. If top surgery results openly mocked the way bottom surgery results often are, not many guys would want to share that either.
I stated that there are ways to express dislike of surgical results, without being disrespectful (statement of fact).
I provided examples of more respectful ways to voice a dislike for surgical results, and expressed disapproval of such "vivid descriptions" of one's impressions.
"Should" is nowhere in my post.
But let's say for the sake of argument, that I had said, "Tysilio, next time try something like this." We are able to think something without posting it, so it's a gross exaggeration to compare telling someone to be more polite in their posts on a forum, to telling them
what to think.
Quote from: Tysilio on November 07, 2014, 01:18:54 PM
It's possible for people to have a polite conversation about matters over which they disagree; among other things, that's how people learn from each other. I hope we can do that, blink, because I respect your intelligence and your views, even if we don't always see eye to eye.
I agree. As far as I am aware, that is exactly what we are doing here. Your comment regarding surgical results was, however, not polite. I hope you'll consider putting as much consideration and politeness - if not more - into critiquing others' surgical results, as you do into expressing disagreement with my views.