This is not a post about sex

[David Man]

Today I went to see my doctor. I was hoping we could schedule my top surgery. It was the third or fourth time we met. He says to me that he thinks I should'n think of myself been a man when I had just  one lover, who was also my husband and my daughter's father. I found me defending myself, giving him my reasons, telling him about my grief... I felt misundestood...

I want to ask, if somebody think like my doctor.

I have very few relationship, because I feel ashamed of my own body. I don't want anybody watch me naked, or touching me. I can't help feeling I'm just a step away from a monster. People, women and men, often told me that I am beatiful. I can't believe it. I know they are not lying to me, but in my mind that sounds like a bad joke.

I know I have problems, BECAUSE I AM A MAN IN A WOMAN BODY!!! All my psique is a mess. And I have to learn the "manly way". All the men learn that during his childhood and youth, I have to learn it been 38 years old... is not easy, is not automatic, and I still look like a woman, so people treat me like a woman. A very weird and unusual woman, but a woman a least...

I think I won't be over of my own repulsion until I finish my transition. But for my doctor been celibate and bisexual is like I'm not a real men. I don't understand.

Maybe I should tell him that I always wanted to penetrate my husband, and he never let me...

[Cindy]

Your Doc is misinformed and rude. Tell them to go to WPATH SOC.

[devention]

Agreed, Cindy. I'd find a different doctor if you can.

[jamesdoran]

I agree too. A good doctor knows that gender has nothing to do with sexual orientation or activity.

[Edge]

I know a guy who has had no lovers. I wonder what your doctor thinks he is. I wonder how many lovers your doctor has had. Maybe you should ask him and ask what gender that makes him and why.
Sorry for being snarky. I have a low tolerance for ridiculousness and your doctor is being ridiculous.

[xsmithersx]

It's high time you found yourself a new doc!

[Ayden]

Your Doc is misinformed and rude. Tell them to go to WPATH SOC.

YES.

Brother, I urge you to get a new doctor. Your current one is not taking care of you.

[Pikachu]

What everybody else said.

I know a guy who has had no lovers. I wonder what your doctor thinks he is. I wonder how many lovers your doctor has had. Maybe you should ask him and ask what gender that makes him and why.
Sorry for being snarky. I have a low tolerance for ridiculousness and your doctor is being ridiculous.

lol. Edge, I love your attitude. I've only been with other trans women. I wonder what his doctor would think that makes me? I might make his head explode.

[Dee Marshall]

What everybody else said....

This is the only community I've ever belonged to where "me too" posts are appropriate.

Me too! We deserve proper respect from medical professionals, particularly ones who don't specialize and thus don't keep up.

[blink]

I have very few relationship, because I feel ashamed of my own body. I don't want anybody watch me naked, or touching me. I can't help feeling I'm just a step away from a monster. People, women and men, often told me that I am beatiful. I can't believe it. I know they are not lying to me, but in my mind that sounds like a bad joke.

I strongly relate to this. Any compliments along the lines of "pretty", prior to transition, did not feel like compliments. It was worse than being insulted. I was repulsed by my body too. I wore enormously oversized long-sleeved shirts and baggy pants to try to hide as much as possible, not just from others, but from myself. I did not want to see what any part of my body looked like.

Post top surgery and now several months on T, my body is more "right" to me all the time. Some parts are still not right, but I'm happier than I ever thought possible. If you're experiencing dysphoria and your doctor isn't taking it seriously, fire that doctor. It's their job to help you, and they're failing, so fire them. There are more doctors out there.

[Adam (birkin)]

I'm in kind of the same boat. I have very strong sexual desires for women, but I would never use the genitals I have now to engage sexually with a woman. Because I am a man and I'm supposed to have a penis, I simply wouldn't be comfortable using anything else. I don't think it makes anyone less of a man if they are uncomfortable using female genitals and a female body for sex, because men generally don't possess those parts.

[Gothic Dandy]

That was so wrong of him...ugh.

You should find a new doctor if you can, because it will be very unpleasant for you if you keep feeling like you have to defend yourself against him. And how much help will he even give you if he has that kind of attitude?

I hope the best for you. You deserve better than that!

[David Man]

THANK YOU, GUYS AND GIRLS!!!!

You made me laught and cry with yours words. I really need to heard it.

My doctor is the one who does consultation to my trans friends here, in Rosario. My friends told me he is amazing with them, respectful and understanding. But I think he is not againts trans people, I think he is homophobic. Like, "You like men? So stay like a woman..." Like if that could be a chance.

I don't care what he thinks, I will find another doctor.

[AnonyMs]

My doctor is the one who does consultation to my trans friends here, in Rosario. My friends told me he is amazing with them, respectful and understanding. But I think he is not againts trans people, I think he is homophobic. Like, "You like men? So stay like a woman..." Like if that could be a chance.

Are these friends also FTM, or perhaps MTF? I wonder if he judges the two groups by different standards? Do people do that?

I'm not making excuses for him, but if you can't find another doctor, then perhaps he's just ignorant and you could educate him. Its not that easy to understand what being trans really means and perhaps his being a man and you apparently female he's letting his personal feelings cloud his judgement in a way that doesn't happen for M2F.

[blink]

My doctor is the one who does consultation to my trans friends here, in Rosario. My friends told me he is amazing with them, respectful and understanding. But I think he is not againts trans people, I think he is homophobic. Like, "You like men? So stay like a woman..." Like if that could be a chance.

This used to be the standard mindset, and unfortunately still lingers. But more doctors, and people in general, are learning that gender and sexuality are completely separate things.

All it takes to see how ridiculous is the doctor's statement here, is to swap it around. Imagine telling a gay cis man, "You like men? Transition to female!" People can't change their gender to be perceived as straight. Doesn't work that way.

Good luck either talking some sense into this doctor, or finding a better one. We're here for you.

[PucksWaywardSon]

I'll add another voice to debunk "trans can't be gay" - I'm 100% into dudes. (and also coming out in my 30s) from what I've read it's actually waay more common for "straight girls" to come out as gay transguys much later in life on average than the traditional lesbian-to-straight-guy.

[Pikachu]

Plus, there are a ton of MTF lesbians. Being gay and trans isn't uncommon at all.